Want divorce from wife
Suhas
(Querist) 21 June 2016
This query is : Resolved
Current status :
I m 44 yrs old state government employee married in 2000. My wife is housewife we have 2 children, my son is of 14 yrs (at present he is living in hostel) and daughter is 12 yrs old (living with her mother in flat). My parents (father 78 yrs and mother 73yrs) living separately in their own house at Akola. And I m living separately alone.
Short History:
After marriage within 6 months conflicts/clashes between us. She was not with me for 6 months. I wanted divorce so issued the notice through advocate and also convey through the mediator but her parents claim for 498 ( issued the notice) in which all my family member names were included. At that time my younger sister was unmarried and due to worst situation against me, we decided to fetch her back and compromise the matter.
After that my parents separated my family and we lived together for 10 years at Khamgaon ( at where my jobs posting). We blessed with 2 children a son and a daughter. In that period, periodically quarrels in between us. In short all is not well. But I always compromise the situation with the hope of better.
In 2010 I shifted to my parent’s house at akola with the agreement of my wife. But after some days she again becomes aggressive and got quarreled with me and my parents with small reasons. I was very upset and at the last I have taken decision to shift from parents home. They also suggested me to live separately with your family and live happily. So in 2012 I purchased a flat in same city by getting funds from housing loan from bank and govt. and shifted there.
After some days gone, her nature again become aggressive and she conflicts me many times. She abuses(curse shower) me in front of my children which creates very bad effect on my children. I have decided to keep mum and near about 2 years there was no dialogues in between us and not kept any relations with her only for children’s future. But day by day situation went wrong her aggressiveness becomes very painful to me and I went into depression. Due to loan EMI my financial budget got disturbed. I complained about her nature to her parents time to time but no any action from them.
In the last year (2015) I called meeting with all relatives from both sides and conveyed all the situation, after large discussion no any solution found at the last I declared in meeting that hereafter it is not possible me to live with her peacefully. And I have shifted to Washim ( where my current posting is) and my son admitted in hostel because he also don’t want to live with her mother. Every month I deposit EMI of that flat and maintain all expenses of wife and my daughter from my salary.
In the whole year she makes calls ,threat me and makes mental harassment for money abusively.
I really got disturbed and in feel depression.
My friends/relatives suggest me to remarry. But she is not ready to give me divorce.
My question is :
Is it legal to live-in relation with unmarried female (with her willingness). ?
Is it necessary to separate legally?
Whether she claim 498 against me? Or What?
Please advice me .
Thanking you.
R.K Nanda
(Expert) 21 June 2016
Query too long.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 21 June 2016
NO
Yes
Yes
Try to save the marriage.
Approach a very able counsel and understand that the charges you want to press are the grounds for Divorce?
Do you have any evidence?
Your counsel can counsel you further.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 21 June 2016
1. If your marriage is not legally dissolved you can lead adulterous life. Live in relationship for you is nothing but illicit relationship.
2.Your case would be fit for 498A if you are caught to stay with your paramour.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 22 June 2016
Agreeing with Mr Barman I would add that live in relationship is a license to the lady to anytime allege rape and have you in. Further in some cases mamintanance has been granted to live-in ladies.
This forum is full of such cases.
Furthermore kindly go through conduct rules. A govt servant is under obligation to maintain a clean image in society all the times.
Further maintaining two families coupled with cost of defending criminal/civil cases (both by wife and live-in lady)will leave you habitually indebted. This itself is a professional misconduct for govt servant.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 22 June 2016
NO
Yes
Yes
LIVEIN relationship is illegal and may result many complications for a government servant.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 22 June 2016
I agree with the expert advice of Mr.Barman and Mr.Sudhir Kumar.Do not land up in more troubles instead of solving the present problem. Whether you have 2 teenage children, entertaining living-in relationship itself can attribute doubtful character on you. That idea is not at all a solution.
Suhas
(Querist) 23 June 2016
ok
Thanks everyone.
Let me know one thing;
At present i m not living with my wife from last one year. And not willing to stay with her for remaining life. Can i live alone? Is it crime as per hindu laws? What Legal action she can take against me?
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 23 June 2016
Why are you not staying with your wife?
Approach a very able counsel and understand that the charges you want to press are the grounds for Divorce?
Do you have any evidence?
Avoid acting on your own and on sheer impulse.
You seem to be in a good job.
Defending your job should be your priority.
Trying to save your marriage should also be your priority.
Consult a very able counsel beforehand than acting on your own.
Agreed that there are many threads at LCI on matters, on issues post filing of cases e.g;
http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/Non-grant-of-full-wages-against-suspension-period-even-after-quashing-of-the-proceedings-603106.asp
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 25 June 2016
Besides agreeing to the experts views on other queries, for your last query, you may live separately away from her and neither the court nor she can compel you to live with her against your wishes, however a petition for judicial separation will ensure that you are living separately legally.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 26 June 2016
And not willing to stay with her for remaining life.
THEN PAY HER MAINTENANCE FOR REMAINING LIFE.
Can i live alone?
TECHNICALLY YES.
Is it crime as per hindu laws?
UNJUSTIFIED DESERTION OF WIFE IS IN ITSELF AN ACT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WHICH IS PROHIBITED IN CRIMINAL LAW AND SERVICE LAW AS WELL.
A What Legal action she can take against me?
JUST FILING A TRUE/FALSE CASE OF DOWRY DEMAND AGAINST YOU AND YOU ARE INSIDE JAIL (probably with family) AND OUTSIDE govt office..
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 26 June 2016
@experts above.
Any amount of advise given to him. But some persons have a strong and strange nack of thinking some way or the other for landing in jail. He appears to be endowed with such instinct.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 26 June 2016
You have been sufficiently advised.
Rest is upto you.
Suhas
(Querist) 27 June 2016
Ok
thanks everybody
