Opposition from girl's parents for love marrriage
Nishant LN
(Querist) 19 August 2013
This query is : Resolved
Hi Experts,
I am a Consultant residing in Mumbai. For the last 7 years, I have been in a relationship with a girl. It was all pinky and rosy until we decided to approach our respective parents to fix our wedding. There is no problem in our match. Same Caste, Same Community, Same Class. I earn pretty well enough to support even a family of 6. My parents readily agreed, given they thought the girl as a perfect match for me and them too. And being a guy raised in a free and forward thinking cultured home, We are against dowry and give equal respect and rights to ladies too.
Then we approached her parents and thats when all the trouble started. They are People who are still living in the stone age and who control each and every aspect of their kids lives. Naturally, her daughter crossing their "line" did not agree with them. They grew very angry and promptly rejected me and asked her to give up on me. Then they started a vicious cycle of mentally torturing her, threatening her, blackmailing her, scaring her, forcing her to marry a guy of their choice. I have tried all this time to appeal to their better nature.
But some days ago, they crossed all limits when we went to their house to discuss and close this with complete intimation of the same. But her parents did not even have the basic courtesy to entertain us or stay at home itself. If that was not enough, I do not even know what they did to her after we left. But she got all frustrated out and asked me to discontinue all communication with her and that she feels like committing suicide.
Now my dear experts, I am aware of my rights under the Constitution Article 21 - Freedom of Life & Liberty. And also of the respective Supreme Court judgement's interpretation of the same.
Ex:
http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2009/05/22/marry-or-live-with-anyone-of-your-choice/
1.) Can I build a case on the same? Breach of SC judgement? Denial of Rights?
2.) Will this be a Civil or Criminal case?
3.) Does this come under the abetment of Suicide? if not, what else?
4.) Does the forcing with other guy by coercion count as Extortion on the basis of Grievous hurt?
5.) I have been threatened for my life too. What can be done of that?
Any other observations and legal help is appreciated. Thank You.
- A frustrated Indian Brother.
mahendrakumar
(Expert) 19 August 2013
dear Nishant,
1) have you tried some mediatory efforts using some common friends and relatives?
2) what could be the real reason of their denial?
3) is it that she is working and her family donot wish to lose her income now?
4)what about other siblings of her familY?
5) unless she is not willing,what is the point of legal remedies?
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 19 August 2013
Whatever may be the reason of refusal by her parent to marry her with you but she has been so crushed by them that she is in frustration.
A writ of heaves corpus lies in HIGH COURT when someone(adult) is forced to live in a wrongful confinement against his/her own wishes;the detinue(the detained person) is asked to be presented before the court by person in whose custody detinue is and a statement is recorded where after detinue is set free to go with person detinue names.
An other recourse may be lodging FIR with police for an offence of wrongful confinement but as police are manipulative and they too are of stone age(to put your words)they would favor her parent is my expectation,and there would be politician to favor each side,so not known which side would get weighty for police to act.
Then between the two, writ is a peaceful recourse.
By the way what consultation you take,you have not told?
Nishant LN
(Querist) 19 August 2013
dear Mahendra.. Thanks for your earnest reply.
1) have you tried some mediatory efforts using some common friends and relatives?
Yes. I have already. Her maternal relatives had advised them to simply let the children marry and be happy. But her parents did not take their advice in consideration at all. I am trying to approach my lady's Buva so that she can try to mediate and make these guys see sense which I seriously doubt given their disposition.
2) what could be the real reason of their denial?
They are just plain angry that their daughter had the audacity to break their "sanskar" and do something criminal as "love". Anyone who tries to make them see sense is an enemy to them.
3) is it that she is working and her family donot wish to lose her income now?
Yes. She is working now and given her father's retirement, can be considered the sole breadwinner of her family. But they are already trying to find a guy for her. Especially after our relevation.. Forcing her to marry anyone but me given their aversion to me as the guy who corrupted her daughter.
4)what about other siblings of her familY?
Her own brother is supporting her parents and is a mute spectator to all that happens.
Some of the cousins are supportive of us.
5) unless she is not willing,what is the point of legal remedies?
Thats my problem now. She is still ready to marry me but only with parents approval which they wont give currently.. And we are not interested in registered marriage given the stigma it still carries for many people.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 19 August 2013
Hari anant Hari katha ananta. It seems there is no end to such love issue s no mind to enter.
Nishant LN
(Querist) 19 August 2013
Dear Prabhakar Sir,
I have read many of your other replies here and found them to be good. As is your reply here, but Sir what I am stuck here now is me and my lady would still like to be together but only with her parents approval which given their attitude till now i doubt. They are very schemy and manipulative people and have already driven my girl to full frustation and depression. So much that she has already said she does not feel like living anymore.
Given the current environment of the attitude of cops towards girls and my current situation, i doubt that the cops would take this lightly too given it entails a lady's life. We do have our contacts too compared to them.
What i want Sir, whatever they have done wt my lady till now, i think it does breach the Supreme Court ruling of free will and Article 21 of free will to marry anyone. And on top of that, frustrating her that much and then threatening me wt my life. I dont give much value to such threats. But my parents do and while they still love the girl as thr own, they did not like the threat thing. :-(
Nishant LN
(Querist) 19 August 2013
Mr. Raj Kumar,
Are you trying to tell me that the Indian Law is powerless in front of such nonsense that is going on in the name of Indian Culture?
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 19 August 2013
Remedies have been told to you which are either a writ or an FIR,proceed choosing any you feel comfortable with,girl's statement would be very material in either case.There is no denying from what you say about the Supreme Court ruling of free will and Article 21 of free will to marry anyone.
You understand better i have no clue how to make her parent agree to marry you when i am far away in Azamgarh(U.P.)just unknown to either of the two families.
Thank you for you find my replies here good.
M V Gupta
(Expert) 19 August 2013
In my view FIR with the police is a must to avoid the girl taking any hasty step to end her life.The police will definitely intervene to ensure the safety of the girl. Somehow speak to the girl and assure her that u will not leave her in the lurch and are taking necessary action (legal) to save her love for u and marry you. Ask her to stand by you in ur efforts to get married to u ultimately. Simultaneously move the High court with a habeas corpus WP. Take courage and move in the matter. Keep ur parents in the loop in all ur actions, so that their support will be there for u al- through.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 19 August 2013
the girl can complain to state women commission against her parents that she is being forced to marry against her wishes . simultaneously police complaint will help .
if the girl is not willing to marry without her parents approval and they refuse to agree to the match it is better to forget the girl .
you have also stated that you dont want a regd marriage . so forget her and move on in life .
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 19 August 2013
Well advised by the experts on various aspects, choice is yours which suits you.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 21 August 2013
I fully agree with the expert Mr.Ajay Sethi.
My observations are:
1. The girl is not willing to marry without the consent of the parents.
This is not true love. This is convenience. If you are after such love, you are spoiling your life with your own hands.
2. In all your posts you mentioned "my girl", "my lady". You have not yet married her. How can you be so possessive? This attitude only might have irked her parents. They certain feel that you are taking her away from them. You should convince them that the relationship will be in tact even after the marriage. If you can convince them on this point, I hope there is no big hurdle to give their consent.
3. You can resort to legal remedies only if the girl is co-operative. Otherwise not only that you will loose time and money but also you would be probe to be implicated in the counter attack.
Make another attempt taking the clues from the replies given by all the experts, still if there is no change in the position of the attitude of the girl's parents and girl's plea for consent, forget and start a new life.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 21 August 2013
In all your posts you are referring the girl as "my girl" "my lady". How can you mention as "my", when you are not yet married? According to me, this possessive attitude is only creating apprehensions in the minds her parents. Try to instill confidence in them that you are not taking her away and they will have their own position in her heart. Take clues from replies of all the experts and make another attempt. Still if there is no change in the attitude of the parents or the girl (who is not willing to go against the wishes her parents) better you forget the episode and start a new life. Legal remedy is possible only if the girl is co-operative. Otherwise you will not only loose money and time, but also will be prone to be implicated in false cases in their counter attack.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 22 August 2013
Indian law is not teeth-less but some persons in its implementation have made it mockery so my comment was accordingly.
Nishant LN
(Querist) 23 August 2013
@Mr.Mallpeddi..
Its not about my possessive attitude. I did not think of how to write about her, so i stuck to using my lady, my girl thing here.
The thing remains they are thinking of their daughter as their personal property.. Ignoring her feelings, wishes, rights and happiness.. Whatever they say is correct for her. What ever they choose is correct for her.
And the girl was fed with the same mentality that parents are always right..that u should not even cross ur parents even if they are wrong. This will crush their parents "izzat" if they do so. One of the reasons for her reluctance is this scenario. Having said that. She still is ready to be with me just i need to make sure of that.
Nishant LN
(Querist) 23 August 2013
Can someone please enlighten me about the process to file the writ petition?
What are the requirements?
The flow?
Role of police if any?
Costs?
The court concerned?
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 23 August 2013
One of my very recent case , where girl married against parent's wish.
Parents gave Bond in Court, they will co-operate, will not break her house, will not kidnap her and allow her safety on her way to her Govt, Job.
And very next day, she was with her parents, , could not communicate , was tortured in close room, for 40 days, starved, declared mad [so husband is deprived of legal custody too]
After Obtaining Search Warrant u/e 97 of Cr.pc, and with few phone tracing, with Police, brought before court.
She was under such a threat, even court observed her body/ condition. but she stated in Court, she want to live with her parents.
Once Girl/ Wife go to her parents, rarely she give statements in court against her parents .
Better wait and watch. Keep cool.
Legal action : best suggested by Shri P Singh
Can use sec 97 cr p c for search warrant, and her statement , she is at liberty to reside where-ever she want/ at Liberty.
Can File Writ in HC.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 25 August 2013
If the girl is not willing to marry without the consent why do you bother so much about her fate? What is the guarantee she will not listen to them after the marriage and spoil your life? Think practically. You also have your own family. Success in love can be achieved only if both are have same line of thinking. Your line of thinking before marriage itself is different. Do not be pity about her state of affairs. Leave and live peacefully.
