Looking for divorce
Want a Life
(Querist) 20 June 2014
This query is : Resolved
Hi am married and 45 years old. This is my second marriage and so of my wife. We have been married for 5 years, no issues as of date. Currently we are three in my family, me my wife and my mother. My wife is a house wife and has recently started working from home for some assignments.
My wife is quiet dominating and can not stay with any one in my family. She has stressed relations within her family also. She has made my life miserable and keeps fighting with everyone.
She had forced me to stay separate from my my parents and my father passed away in that shock. However, under those conditions we two stayed separate in a rented premises. However, we moved back to my original house (Building which was in repairs got over) in April 2014. Since that time she has problems with my mother and curses her day in and day out. She fights with me for everything I want to do, can not get alongwith my friends or relatives and sends abusive messages on different modes, such as yahoo/whatsapp.
She is looking to move my mother in a separate house, but its a huge financial burden which I do not wish to take now. Also I do not see any point in that, since during the time we stayed separate, there was hardly much change and only reasons changed to fight.
i am looking to get separated from her, however am worried she will not give divorce easily. Till date I have been taking care of entire finances and recently she has got all her legal documents at my current residence. She has been threatening of police complaints throughout my marriage of 5 years. and it was due to this threat i did not take any action, since I was not clear about the legal position.
I have already made up my mind to get divorce.
What precautions should I take and how do I deal with this situation.
Also, am also in process of making my will, since in case if I pass away by a heart attack due to so much of stress, she will ruin my entire family. Can I exclude her in my will?
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 20 June 2014
Execution of Will is good choice wherein you can bequeath all your wealth to any person you choose.
For divorce you have to file a suit for divorce on the ground of cruelty. Though mutual divorce is best suited, in the present circumstances I do not find there is any chance for this.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 20 June 2014
Bequeath your self earned assets to any body you like. Get the will registered.
Try for Mutual Consent Divorce.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 21 June 2014
file for divorce on grounds of cruelty .you can make a registered will and bequeath property to whom soever you so desire .
R.K Nanda
(Expert) 21 June 2014
agree with experts.
Want a Life
(Querist) 21 June 2014
Thanks a lot for your valuable views.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 21 June 2014
You have not given certain facts which require for giving you some guidance.
1. You say that it is second marriage at the age of 40.
2.What happened to the first marriage. Whether you first wife is alive?
3.Have you got separated by divorce with first wife?
4. Do you have children out of first marriage?
These are crucial points you have kept in dark.
5. What about the first marriage of your second wife. Whether she is a widow, or divorcee out of estranged relations with her husband?
6. Whether she has any children out of the first marriage?
Presuming that your first wife is not alive, after that you married this lady who is a widow, and both of you do not have any children out of the first marriage - the following guidance is given:
First of all you should relieve out of your tension. Why do you that you may get heart attack? If the contents narrated are true, there is no fault on your part. You lost your father by leaving them to their fate. Do not repeat the same mistake with your mother. Problems are not new to you. This is not the first marriage to you. You are living without your first wife. How this lady play such a big role to push to the corner?
You may have to face the situations boldly. She may make all allegations against you and your mother. To settle the issues, it will take long time unless she agrees for MCD.
The first step you have to take is - separate your properties - ancestral and self-acquired. For self-acquired properties you can bequeath a Will and hand it over to a person in whom you have full confidence so that in case of need, he will take actions for executions of the Will.
Second - Never leave your mother. She lost her husband - her first daughter-in-law. Instill confidence in her that you will fight it boldly and nobody can take away the happiness of the family by coercion.
You should not handed over her to deal with your finances. Where is she living presently? You take things in your control and start ignoring her and her threats.
try for MCD - have a talk with your wife - If necessary give some monetary compensation if you can afford and get rid of her. If she does not agree, engage a good lawyer and file a divorce petition on grounds of cruelty. It is the life - if you are not wrong - fight back - the final result will be with you - Do not look for the result - start living as if nothing has happened.
Biswanath Roy
(Expert) 22 June 2014
LOOK FOR DIVORCE AND PROCEED TO THIRD MARRIAGE, CONTINUE SUCH PRACTICE TILL YOU ARE PHYSICALLY FIT.
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 24 June 2014
If what has been stated by the is taken to be fact, the best option is to g for divorce on the grounds of cruelty and mental agony.
Want a Life
(Querist) 02 July 2014
I have been travelling for few days, so could not reply earlier
Me and my first wife got divorced, on non compatibilty grounds (she had schezophrenia and i had got all checkups and tried till the day before our final hearing to check with doctor if we can sustain the marraieg in some way, however doctor advised otherwise). She has re married and is happy (i believe) The grounds in decree are of non compatibility.
There were no children out of my first marriage.
My First marraige lasted for a period of 6 months.
My Wifes's First marraige lasted for about 15 days and got divroced for the reason of temparamental issues.
She does not have any children out of her First Marraige and am not much aware about her ex husband.
The situation has worsened wherein out of blue and no where she had sent me more than 200+ messages in 24 hours on my trip reiterating all the problems (she was at her parents place then) and things which happened or made up during past 5 years and asked for a final solution. After I came back day before she was unwell and when we spoke yesterday and i said if we cant make it we should get separated, to which she said ok and walked out of a restaurant in middle of night and after i ran after her and we had a lengthy dicussion in which at end she said there is no way she wants to get separate from me. But how do I continue in this situation...
As regards Third marriage suggested by learned lawyer, trust me, both my marraiges have ensured that I would not even dare think about it. Whether I stay physically fit or not.....What has been keeping me still on this marraige is somewhere her comittment but with so much trauma its becoming difficult to survive and therefore had asked here..
ajay sethi
(Expert) 02 July 2014
visit a marriage counselor to resolve your disputes
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 03 July 2014
I fully agree with Mr. Ajay Sethi and advise the author Mr. "WANT A WIFE" to visit a marriage counselor to resolve your disputes
