Legal advice
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 26 April 2020
This query is : Resolved
My Mother who is a retired govt employee and pensioner now ,had left her own flat at kolkata last year & and have come down to Guwahati ,along with my younger sister are staying in rented house in Guwahati . I also stay at Guwahati with my wife and son who has appeared for board exams .I did not allow them in my house,as my sister start quarelling with my wife and cause disturbances to study of my son and also threat to cause harm to my son & wife . Now my Mother & Sister are mentally harassing me on regular basis to get my sister married,but as I know both are mentally not stable( as can be assessed from thier behaviour and talks )how can I get a groom for her . Few proposals had come but when they talk with them ,they reject and dont turn up.I told them to get counselling from psychiatrist but they deny .
Please suggest what can I do ,or can I seek legal remedy or police help to put both of them in asylum.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 26 April 2020
This issue of human or say family discipline is out of purview of legal advice. You have no legal right to press your sister to accept a groom of your liking or not to marry with a person of your disliking. As she is major, she can decide whatever she wants as per law..
In the given facts, you need to win the confidance of your mother. After all she is your mother and unfortunately she has been compelled to take shelter in the rented house of your sister instead of your own house in this old age. May there is some behavioural aspects on the side of your sister and mother but where have you shown your maturity by not bringing your mother to your own house?
Try to amicably settle this family issue and not mention about the mental condition of your own family members on public platforms rather solve the problem directly or with the help of your relatives, friends etc.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 26 April 2020
I seek more advices or suggestions to my query .i know what sort of mental agony i an going through . Nobody is willing to marry after talking to them face to face as they can recognize they are mentally not sound. ,forget about choices as mentioned by one of the experts. Also they are creating nuisance on daily basis and not agreeing to go for mental counselling or to correction centre.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 26 April 2020
Since the lockdown is continuing, it would not be possible to take any step at present. The solution can be based on medical / psychological treatment of both. Seems both are very much frustrated, mentally upset, threat of uncertainty in life, solution of which is through medical / social ways.
Legal ways may worsen the situation, it may put you in embarrassing situation in future. On any police action, it has to be you, who has to come forward to help them.
You can arrange alternate residence for them, if possible, if the disputes with landlord is continued. Try to find out a suitable match and arrange for the marriage of your sister, being brother, it is your moral responsibility also. Please do not evade from the responsibility on the name of their mental condition. May take help of marriage sites / newspaper ads / relatives / friends. .
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 26 April 2020
Make it your target to talk with them on phone once a day and give them peaceful hearing. Hear whatever they say, do not confront / say they are wrong. This would give a chance to them to release their frustration. As they are living separate from you, visit them once a week, take gift / eatables for them. Arrange proper medical treatment for them.
If you go for legal ways, they would be in serious trouble. Your relatives may pressurize you to defend them in court. It would be time and cost consuming without any positive solution. Please through away all your negative thinking about them if possible and move with changed mindset.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 26 April 2020
Require few more suggestions
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 27 April 2020
No legal dispute involved in the facts posted by you for consideration and obligation by legal experts.
Legally you are required (bound) to look after and take care of your aged (pensioner) mother along with your sister who is still dependent on you, besides your wife and children.
You can not escape your legal, social and moral responsibility against your mother as well as unmarried sister, irrespective of the fact that your wife can not tolerate them.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 27 April 2020
Mr Vasishta it is not about my wife tolerating them .she had done a lot ,but my sister always wants to cause physical harm to her and my son.. She had attempted it several times earlier also but could not succeed.thus i have not allowed them in my house. Their mental health is not sound and My mother wants my sis to get married,but nobody is willing after talking to them. they perhaps understand about thier mental health.they create nuisance screaming ,shouting beating up each other in rented house also .infact prior to coming here they were in kolkata in own flat and later in Bangalore in rented house where neighbour's had given police complaint also regarding this ,but when i tell about counselling by psychiatric they deny and say they are fine .now by son is in 11th std and i cant compromise with his career as it will affect his studies. So pl suggest what can i do
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 27 April 2020
Require more suggestions
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 27 April 2020
You said:
my sister always wants to cause physical harm to her and my son.. She had attempted it several times earlier also but could not succeed.
Reply:
If we think psychologically, your wife has taken away your attention from her (your sister). This has resulted in enmity due to insecurity in her mind. Best way is her marriage. Think over the situation after your mother, where, how, with whom she would live. Immediately go on trying for her marriage. It is hopped, she would be OK after marriage.
You said:
and My mother wants my sis to get married, but nobody is willing after talking to them.
Reply:
This is natural, She has arranged / managed marriage of you and your brother, it is her last responsibility, which need to be fulfilled by you, being elder.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 27 April 2020
You said:
when i tell about counselling by psychiatric they deny and say they are fine .now by son is in 11th std and i cant compromise with his career as it will affect his studies. So pl suggest what can i do
Reply:
You have so much love / affection /sense of responsibility for your son, please also fulfill your responsibility for your sister with same enthusiasm and spirit.
Nothing legal is involved in your query, it is social associated with human nature/ behavior / psychology / needs / habits etc.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
This is your repeated query. The another thread in the same title is also being attended by the experts wherrein you have mentioned the similar facts.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
This is your repeated query. The another thread in the same title is also being attended by the experts wherrein you have mentioned the similar facts.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
This is your repeated query. The another thread in the same title is also being attended by the experts wherrein you have mentioned the similar facts.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
This is your repeated query. The another thread in the same title is also being attended by the experts wherrein you have mentioned the similar facts.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
It is again advised you to contact your mother directly or through any relative so that the matter may amicably be settled.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
Frusteration might have occurred in the mind of your mother in her old age when both of her sons are ignoring her and are not caring for the marriage of her growing daughter who has to reside separately in a rented house in the same city wherein her brother is residing in his own house with his family.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
Bieng the elder brother, this is your liability to care for the marriage of your unmarried daughter. Don't take the bitter comments of your mother uttered in the situation of her frusteration.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 01 May 2020
Closing / absence / non-existence of continuous communication / dialogue / interaction give birth / raise scope for no. of misunderstandings, give chance to form mindset on baseless grounds.
Your continuous communication / visit / telephonic calls would result in a good starting for diminishing misunderstanding and building confidence.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 01 May 2020
Your only one step to try for the marriage of your sister / getting a suitable match can result in drastic change in the situation. Take honest steps taking it as your moral / social duty.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 01 May 2020
Turning a deaf ear to the problem at this stage may result to turn the situation totally out of your control. Any time they may be a regular visitor to court as party in no. of cases against / initiated by them. The situation may not be controllable by you at that movement.
Their disputes with landlord may become talk of town due to their frustration.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
You have rightly and repeatedly advised to contact to your mother and sister and settle the issues amicably.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
Legal system has no remedy to settle your problem as this is not a legal problem and thus there is no legal advice which you sought.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 01 May 2020
Various restrictions have been provided to move from one place to other during this lockdown period so get benefitted accordingly and use this high time to persuade your mother and sister as already advised.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 02 May 2020
Continuous dialogues, discussion, patient hearing to the mother and sister is the key to solve the problem. Their main concern is the marriage of the sister, if solved, you or your family may not be disturbed rather would be enjoying their cooperation.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 02 May 2020
If you move to police against them, police has no solid grounds to take action against them. Moreover, you would be losing social support.
If you move publically to struck all your relations with them, this may not be giving you much help. Such steps are taken just to avoid their responsibilities.
The author has not mentioned what is the position of house owned at Kolkata, in whose name the property is?
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 02 May 2020
As the period of lockdown has got over in the orange area especially for movement within the city, you need t approach your ailing old aged mother and sister and to deal with them with love and affection.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 02 May 2020
You need not to either support or oppose the landlord of the house of your sister and should clear to the police that you have nothing to do with the relationship of landlord and tenant and let them decide their issue at their own.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 03 May 2020
It seems the father of the querist is not available to support / guide / help the mother and sister.
Mother has been government servant, must had been capable / helping circle to take decision in need, if she is depending on the querist for this major work, it is his luck to proceed, build goodwill in their eyes.
People help helpless families in such condition, They are very near to the author.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 03 May 2020
As mother of the author is a Government servant hence his allegations against her that she is mentally ill is nothing but mere allegation. Had it been there, the Government must have retired her due to her mental incapacity to perform her duty.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 04 May 2020
She is not a Government Servant , but a retired Government Servant.
She must be getting pension, not economically dependant on the querist. Her need is of mental, social support.
