How to save my marriage
Rock
(Querist) 09 May 2013
This query is : Resolved
Dear Experts,
I need your suggestion and help. I have been married 2 years now. We both are professionals working. We had various petty fights and arguments over these days. Her parents were coming to support her every alternate month. They have humilated me at various events. tho We involved our both parents to talk twice and yet didnt work. though we both had arguments we still had a good relationship. but dont know what has happen now, she is very much negetive towards me. now we both are staying seperately for past 3 months. She doesnt responds to my emails nor phones. I watch her everyday when she leaves home from office. yet she doesnt responds or looks at me. I do not want to loose my wife. She says that she has applied for divorce at her native. Though I understand we had petty issues and arguments, I never hurted physically or mentally. I have done all the best that I could do as a husband. I was abroad for few months. I do not know how to save my marriage. I tried calling their parents yet they are not supporting. I have just left everything for her. I am very upset now and cannot concentrate on my work. Please help me to save this marriage.
Thanks
ajay sethi
(Expert) 09 May 2013
if your wife has filed for divorce tou will be served with summons . on first date case will be refrred for counselling . state before the counsellor that you dont want a divor ce and want to save your marriage .
but do remeber if your wife does not want to stay with you it is better to part amicably and go in for divorce by mutual consent
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 09 May 2013
Involve the senior family members to save the marriage. You can file suit for restitution of conjugal rights to bring back your wife.
Dr V. Nageswara Rao
(Expert) 10 May 2013
Your concern to save the marriage is admirable. Obviously, there are no serious issues between you and your wife. Probably, she also feels the way you are feeling.
Suit for Restitution is a waste where there is no harmony between spouses. Involve the elders and relatives on her side whom she respects and they can work out a solution. In many cases saying "sorry" with genuine regret works as your quarrels seem to be petty.
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 10 May 2013
Since a decade or more a transitionary period is going on in marriages where male and females found at par on earning front do not know how to adjust with each other against the conventions practiced in past.
Everyone advising about elders help who now a days work as fuel in the fire on either side and most of couple do not have will to follow sincere advices because of their egoistic problems,this all can not be cooped in one go,as we all are facing transition of culture,the west getting over so called educated of east is the real problem,in my analysis of the things.
The next is bargains we do in marriages even in equally earning capables which triggers girl side parents to take advantage of laws because the dowry they paid indebted them and made them poor and sufferer which acts as stimulant to agitate girl to lodge 498a and all that we know.
i know as usual as i read on this site you shall tell you did not take dowery.
Rock
(Querist) 11 May 2013
Dear Singh,
Appreciate your response and i totally agree with your comment on today's fast growing world. Perhaps we do not have a control on it. As per the dowry, I have a well settled job and never expected nor taken any dowry from in laws, since I know the pain of dowry when we had to give for my sister.
My only worry is I am loosing my wife for petty fights and misunderstandings. I have tried reaching her and emailing her several times to have a conversation, and to make her understand the seriousness of marriage and family. but her response is fully negative. I am planning to buy a plot, that too her in her name. money can be earned anytime, but if i loose my wife, i will never earn her back. I am so depressed that i don't find any solution to convince her.
If any one can guide me or suggest how i can get my wife to a mutual understanding & the importance of marriage for both of us, it will be like god answering my prayers.
thanks,
Adv. Chandrasekhar
(Expert) 12 May 2013
I believe you love her too much and this is your undoing. You are not giving her sufficient personal space by bombarding with your pile of e-mails etc. and stalking (may be not appropriate word for a husband waiting in front of wife's office every evening for a kind glance from her)and making himself demeaning in the process. Even though she applied/s for divorce she is not going to get it so easily. Do not worry. Keep your cool and give her sufficient time to understand your true feelings. Use, if possible your elders, to mediate positively for restitution. From your side do not file any case. Once she comes back - remember two things.1. Do not insult her parents either directly or obliquely and if you feel they are insulting you, just ignore them by adopting appropriate tactics. 2. Even though you love her so much, give her sufficient personal space to breath.
