Reg divorce.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 10 January 2010
This query is : Resolved
Hi sir,
I am Ravi from Bangalore. I have been married for 7 years. We are living separately now. We lived together for very short period of time. We have 5 years old boy.
We have a lot misunderstanding and can not live together. She is not ready for divorce. She is working and earning more than me. She has bought a house. I don't have any properties on my name other than band deposit.
I am mentally disturbed and suffering from stress, depression etc because of our problem. Now she is not ready to come and stay with me. Even she also doesn't allow me to visit my son and visit her. Now she is saying i am mentally ill and so that she can not allow me into her house as well as she can not come and stay with me.
For small reasons, she used to abuse me like i am mental and good for nothing.. So in the heat of argument i have beaten her.
I feel there is no point in living like this. Because it has been seven years we are living like this. i am nearing 40 years. Now I need to think about my future also.
Please advice me what should I do?
1) Shall I go for divorce? . But she is not ready. I heard divorce processing in India take s 2 to 5 years depends on the case.
I don't have enough mental strength to fight for a long period.. If I file divorce case, she may file dowry and harassment case against me.
We went for counseling many times. But nothing worked out. She keeps blaming me and abusing me if some one asks why she stays separately from me.
2) Shall I go and live with some one with out marrying
3) As i am suffering from me stress, depression etc, i am not able stay alone. i need some one with me. If I stay like this , I will become mentally ill and will lose my job. I will be useless. Is there any way I can use this to solve my problem.
Please consider me as your brother and advice me.
Thanks
Srinath Kondapally
(Expert) 10 January 2010
in stated circumstances it is better to issue a legal notice to her calling her to live together and consequently proceed with proper negotiations, failing which proceed with divorce process by stating actual differences between both of you, u will get sufficient relief
Arvind Singh Chauhan
(Expert) 10 January 2010
It depends on the cause of deterioration of relation between. If honestly you think that you also responsible to some extent apologize for this. There is one life also as your child between you both. If she don't agree, find her opinion for mutual divorce. Then take the legal steps. Don't get depressed, in every matrimonial relation females leads over males.Some females remain dormant some dominant. It should not be get otherwise.
adv. rajeev ( rajoo )
(Expert) 10 January 2010
You can follow the advise of the Srinath. My advise is that send elders or your family friends who are well acquinted with your problems to solve your problem. Let them advise your wife, if it not succeeded then directly go for divorce on the desertion ground.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 10 January 2010
I do agree with the common opinion of all experts.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 10 January 2010
SIR, I TRIED IN ALL WAYS.I ASKED MY FREINDS AND RELATIVES TO TALK TO HER.HER INTENTION IS TO BLAME ME. SHE FEELS I HAVE DONE ALL MISTAKES. AND I AM GOOD FOR NOTHING.IF SOME ONE TLAKS TO HER ABOUT OUR PROBLEM0,SHE WILL START BLAMING ME FROM MY ENGAGEMNET DAYS TO THE DAY LAST WE MET. SHE IS INTRESTRED IN BALMING ME RATHER THAN REALIZING HER MISTAKES. SHE IS TRYING TO DEFEND HER RATHER THAN TRYING TO SOVLE THE PROBLEM. SHE IS HAPPY BY TELLING OTHERS THAT I AM BAD/MAD. SHE IS EXPALING OUR BEDROOM MATTER TO SOME ONE WHO TALKES TO HER FIRST TIME ABOUT OUR PROBLEM. I AM NOT AT ALL ABLE TO TOLERATE. MY LIFE IS WORST THAN HELL .I CAN NOT EXPRESS IN WORDS.
MY WIFE MADE ME AN EMOTIONAL IDIOT. I AM REALLY STRUGGLING. ALL FRIENDS/RELATIVES WHO EVER TLAKED TO HER IS ADVICING ME TO HAVE REALTIONSHIP WITH SOME ONE AND NOT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HER.
EVEN IF I CALL HER 50 TIMES ME, SHE WON’T PICK UP MY PHONE.
SHE BEHAVES AS IF I AM BAD/MAD AND SHE IS PERFECT LADY.
I BEGGWED HET TO GIVE DIVORCE AS I AM NOT ABLE TO LIVE ALONE AND AS I AM SUFFETRING FROM STRESS, INSOMINIA ETC.
IF I TELL THE TRUTHM, SHE IS TALKING ADVANTAGES AND BALMING ME THAT I AM NOT ABLE LIVE ALONE.
I DONT HAVE ANY BAD HABITS.FRIENDS AND REALTIVE ARE ASKING ME HAPPILY WITH SOME ONE WITH OUT MARRIAGE. BUT MY MIND DOENSNT ACCEPT.
REENTYLY ONE OF MY LADY REALTIVE TALKED TO HER. SHE SAID I AM MENTALLY ILL AND SHE CAN NOT ALLOE ME INTO HER HOUSE.
SHE IS TALKTIVE AND TURN ALL AGAINST ME.
I AM STRUGGLING WITHOJUT KNOWING ANY WAY TO COME OUT OF THIS. I AM SUFERING MENTALLY BY THIS PROBLEM. I AM VERY MUCH AFRAID OF HER. I THINK SHE IS HAVING REALTINSHIP WITH SOME ONE.
PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!
