Son or daughter?
dasarivasu
(Querist) 29 March 2014
This query is : Resolved
We are at the age of sunset.We are upper middle class family.We have 2 children. Son and daughter.We have never differentiated between them.
Son is good, heard us, studied well and became well settled. He sacrificed even his marital life for us when his wife asked him to choose between wife and parents.
Daughter did not heed us,not well educated,love married and left us 10 years back. She was cheated,harassed and tortured by her husband and now in distress along with a child without food and shelter.
Our Son hate his sister for her past behavior and demanding us to choose either him or she.He hurt very much and blame us as cheaters and made him alone in spite of his faithfulness/sacrifices towards parents all this time.
We have supported our daughter to complete her education since 4 years and she is now a qualified Teacher and shortly will get a job to feed herself and her child.But she need our moral and material support for one more year to settle on her own.
We are convincing our son to please have little patience and forgiveness but he refused and prepared to leave us to our own fate at this old age.
What we shall do? We can't lose neither of them! Can any body show us the right and just path to choose at this cross roads?
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 29 March 2014
Really a very tough position for parents to decide in such an embarrassing position.
Living with your son may be in your personal benefit but supporting your daughter at this stage is your moral and just path with social requirement.
You are at a juncture for sacrifice of your personal interest and opening another path of insecurity in your old age.
Though this is not a legal query.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 29 March 2014
Though your query is not for Legal solution, as your prob is not legal.
U r seeking guidance for your personal judgement/ choosing a alternate.
Your duty is over, as soon as you educated, and your daughter is self sufficient.
Do take care of daughter, but indirectly, thru your best friend/ relative.
Directly you must be with your son, who sacrificed for you.
Woman protecting laws will also protect your daughter.. Touch her problem, only on point of her sinking, not otherwise.
She need to teach lesson,/ punishment for her disobedience - love marriage-
It will also teach society in general, and will be eye-opener..
So that other Sr. citizen will not suffer..
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 29 March 2014
No doubt balancing between son and daughter at this stage of your life will be difficult, but with your experience you should understand that you need the physical as well as moral support of your son, of curse you do not have to ignore your daughter especially when she is in distress at the present moment, thus as advised by expert Mr. Shroff, you make an alternate arrangement to your daughter's life and her living through some reliable source, you can remain with your son itself, analyze pros and cons and decide based on the past experiences.
Guest
(Expert) 30 March 2014
Although your son has the moral as well as legal obligation to support you in your old age, if you are are not self supporting person financially. But, in your own interest, you may better accept the fate for your peaceful future at this old age by accepting the proposal of your son. However, if you are a financially self supporting person, in that case you need not live at the mercy of your son. Let your son live separately, if you prefer to support your daughter.
dasarivasu
(Querist) 30 March 2014
We are so much grateful to all of you sirs for your valuable advises.
We are financially self supporting since both are retired government pensioners.
We are least bothered about ourselves.
I am searching for what is Dharma?
Guest
(Expert) 30 March 2014
Now, as per my opinion, your dharma should be to go with hapless daughter, to fulfill moral obligation of being her parents. She can be expected prove to be caring in your debilitating very old age in return for your moral and financial support in her days of dire need.
Guest
(Expert) 31 March 2014
Thanks, Advocate Arunagiri ji, for agreeing with my suggestion.
