Thinking about divorce
Gaurav
(Querist) 24 September 2013
This query is : Resolved
Hi,
I am 26 year old Men, working in Delhi. I got married this year in January 22. Let me explain some ground here.
We gt engaged on 27 June 2012, as she was doing Btech at that time, I never disturbed her by calling her again and again, so we used to talk in 3-4 days and that too for 5 minutes. I know the family from many years, and in there family, girls are not allowed to talk with boys, kind of typical Indian Family. So I undertstd the fact, and at that time, I accepted that she will take some time to get involved.
At the time of marriage, I asked her about Honeymoon, but she said, she has to appear for GATE-2013 and she is not ready for any physical relationship, so we cancelled the honeymoon, after 4 days of her marriage, she left for her college hostel, to complete her engineering. Problem started, when she stopped answering my call, I asked her why and she said, that in her college no one knows that she is married. So being an engineer, I understand that how it feels like. So she used to call me sometime, once in a week.
In June she shifted to my home place, I decided to leave her with family to spend some time with them, and I will bring her with me, but on every weekend, I used to visit my home, but we didn't get involve in any physical relation. We started fighting, as she was not understand me, not even ready to listen things. I asked her many time, even before the marriage, if she had a boyfriend or any other things, but she refused, and I know this is correct.
Later in July, she shifted to me in delhi, and after 2 days, she was ill, so dropped her to her brother's place, as no one here to look after for her, I use to visit there daily, but she never shows any interest, I tried to discuss with her, what is the issue, but she never discuss anything. I asked her parents to get involved, but no result. She said that she want more time, till may 2014, to prepare her mind, and shifted to a hostel, to complete her coaching for gate-2014. I made this admission so that she can continue her studies, but I was not ready to pay for hostel, as it was an extra burden, which I could not afford.
It's being a month now, and she has not called, not replying to messages, not picking my calls, her parents are not calling me either, they are afraid with a fact, that she might take some wrong steps, if forced to come back. I think, I have given sufficient time to prepare her mind, but I cannot afford any more time. I know she is running from the relationship. I tried to convince her to meet a counseller, she is not ready.
So I am thinking to free her as she is more concern about her career, I could have helped her, but she don't want my help. My family is tense, as from last 2 month, her parents are not ready to meet, or talk.
Any suggestion Please.
-----------------Update--------------------------
Hi Everyone, Thanks for your suggestions.
I filed section 9 on 3rd January 2014, and on 3rd July 2014, court ordered Ex-Party, as they did not appear in court for 4 continues dates. Till now they have not filed any FIR or case or anything against me. They asked for some amount for settlement, I was ready to pay, but they were asking to submit money in their account and then they will sign the paper. I declined it, after discussing it with my lawyer and going through some discussion on this site
Now can somebody help me to understand, what exactly is this Ex party and what will will happen next. Do I have a strong case, or any idea how long will it take to complete.
Thanks for your help till now.
Regards
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 25 September 2013
If all facts are narrated correctly nobody can find fault with you. After all you have to plan your own life. You should have taken more precautions before fixing of the match, as you know their family previously. However the best course of action I suggest:
1. Introspect yourself whether any fault is there with you? You should be willing to accept and correct the same.
2. Your parents should meet her parents with the help of known persons/elders and convince them for taking the girl to a counselor. As they are afraid of her daughter's extreme steps, your parents should impress upon them that they are concerned about your future.
3. Assess the behaviour of the girl - any psychological problem or mere interest in career. If it is mere interest in career you assure her marriage will not come in her way to realize her dreams about career.
4. If you decided to come out of the problem - the best course is to bring her around the table for filing a divorce petition by mutual consent so that the decision will be fast and you start your life.
5. For any of the above, you should have cool mind. Going for divorce within this short span will land you in many problems. They may make many accusations against you and your family. Since she is not earning member you may require to pay alimony. You may have to face the police harassment also. Hence do not jump into hasty conclusions.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 25 September 2013
clear that both of u have no "Affection or Love " a vital, most important BOND .
U SHOULDN'T HV MARRIED IF noticed she have no attraction towards u"
The Relationship of Man- woman is natural , and if it is missing, your basic foundation for any relationship Either Marriage or GF BF is absent.
There was no "Love at first sight" nor relationship of marriage.
You hurriedly married without confirming whether she need you or not.
Now that she do not need u even for a day!!, confirms, she is not yours.
Two Alternatives:
[1] Wait for 2 years
[2] Ask her for MCD ; apply on 23-1-14, & separate .
Under the circumstances :
YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO KEEP QUITE TILL 22 JAN 2014.. Just forget till then.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 25 September 2013
Well advised by the experts, nothing more to add.
Gaurav
(Querist) 09 July 2014
Hi Everyone, Thanks for your suggestions.
I filed section 9 on 3rd January 2014, and on 3rd July 2014, court ordered Ex-Party, as they did not appear in court for 4 continues dates. Till now they have not filed any FIR or case or anything against me. They asked for some amount for settlement, I was ready to pay, but they were asking to submit money in their account and then they will sign the paper. I declined it, after discussing it with my lawyer and going through some discussion on this site
Now can somebody help me to understand, what exactly is this Ex party and what will will happen next. Do I have a strong case, or any idea how long will it take to complete.
Thanks for your help till now.
Regards
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 09 July 2014
RCR is useless
ACT AS SUGGESTED BEFORE 9 MONTHS TO YOU.
