Child Custody
bon
(Querist) 31 August 2009
This query is : Resolved
Dear Sir,
We are working couple with 3 yrs of marriage & 1 yr baby. My wifes parents are aged & repeatedly interfere in our routines. They are keen to take care of our child whereas i do have my own parents who can do the same.
Initially my wife insisted we stay in a rented house along with her parents till such time we dont have a bigger house.They will take care of the baby. I agreed & kept a maid solely for the baby.
While difference croped up with her parents on routines. I decided to leave that rental flat & now moved back to my own flat.However,my wife has decided not to join & go to her parents house alongwith the baby.
She initially asked me for sometime but now has told me that this is how she wishes to continue as she also has to take care of her parents.She threated (legal)seperation if her parents are not allowedto takecare of the child.I have tried to talk it out for almost a month now.
I come home late & visit to that house to see my baby..which is not possible everyday.do advice me before i act now.
R.R. KRISHNAA
(Expert) 31 August 2009
Dear bon,
Such incidents do happen after marriage life. You are no exception. Your child is taken care only by your father and mother in law only. So you need not be worried for that. They are better caretakers than the maid you have appointed. I think your wife's decision to leave the baby in care of her parents is correct. Needless to say that your parents also have a right to take care of your child.
This is a small issue. Leave it on its own. The problem will settle down automatically. If you take legal recourse of filing case or issuing legal notice or doing something opposing your wife's decision, certainly the results will affect your life mostly than your wife's life.
If you think that your wife's parents are interfering in your routine life, then kindly tell them to maintain a distance from your family. Your wife's parents are aged. Certainly, aged people will tend to interfere in others business. It is common. Try to lead a adjustable life. If you are able to adjust with your wife, then you will succeed in your life otherwise you will end up in court or divorce only.
Since this is a family matter I advice you to approach your wife and her parents very gently so that your matrimonial relation is safe.
All the best.
bon
(Querist) 31 August 2009
I have gone to an extent to move out of my own house to the rental flat to accomodate her parents. But today for their benefit, the child is away from me..& iam to take care of my daily routine..food etc.
Are you recommending to make it a part of life.
A. A. JOSE
(Expert) 31 August 2009
Mr.Krishna's advise is worth exploring. You should try to save your family life by whatever alternative arrangements and sacrifices which can be done please.,
Jayashree Hariharan
(Expert) 01 September 2009
I can suggest you, from observation. It is your child and your wife and you are part of each other. Make an arrangement. You, your wife and child stay in your flat. During working hours, let the child stay in your in-laws house. Either you or your wife will come back first, whoever comes first, pick up the child and bring it home. Take care of it when you are at home. simple. You also participate in child care-taking, so that your wife will feel nice, and will not pester about leaving the child with her parents. talk to her. As long as the child is taken care of, no question who is taking care. Alternatively, leave the child with your parents for one week and with her parents for one week. That way both of you will be happy. There are so many ways for life, pls take time and think. Very easy to break a relationship, but very difficult to keep it going. Reason with your wife.
