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Problem with my wife, I need leagl advise for divorce

(Querist) 20 February 2009 This query is : Resolved 
Sir, my wife was threatening that she will commit suicide or will run away from my home. We have one year girl baby. She is very weak and lazy to do household work. Our family is orthodox family. When she fails in her duty she is trying to cover it by a big quarrel and in the end finishing up with the threatens said above. She also attempted once to commit suicide and she also ran away from my home when no one is there. She is also trying to throw my parents out of home by quarrels. My father is aged about 69 and my mom 67 who is also a heart patient. We are all facing very bad time in the family. Presently she ran to her home which is 180 kms away from my home. We are residing in Chennai and her native place is Vaniyambadi, near Vellore, Tamil Nadu. I want to get rid of problems so i need legal advice for divorce.
ARVIND JAIN (Expert) 20 February 2009
Consult some local lawyer and if advised file divorce petition.
Tribhuwan Pandey (Expert) 20 February 2009
In the first instance we cannot say for divorce. Try to settle with this problem amicable. Call a meeting of her and your parents and try amicably to settle the problem. When every efforts do fail then proceed for legal action and approach a local lawyer.

AEJAZ AHMED (Expert) 20 February 2009
Dear Subramaniam,

Follow up the suggestion of our learned brother Mr. Pandey.
sanjeev murthy desai (Expert) 20 February 2009
House hold works are depend upon all members of the family not only wife, all members of the family equally allotted house hold work.

You have to take care her beacause she is your wife and convince her. try to give more Love and affection to her it is good solution to make a happy family. its not a big deal.
M. PIRAVI PERUMAL (Expert) 20 February 2009
I agree with views of my learned friends.
Adv.Shine Thomas (Expert) 20 February 2009
I agree with the above views
Abhishek (Expert) 20 February 2009
Mr. Pandey is absolutely ryt...well done bro!!
A. A. JOSE (Expert) 21 February 2009
Mr.Sajeev Desai's suggestion is to be treated as a valuable one if you really love your wife and child and you are serious about living with them as husband and wife/family. After all efforts are exhausted and no other course of action for amicable resolution is left with you, then only consult a Lawyer as there are Lawyers who are mostly concerned with their own income rather than the welfare of your family life, who may advise you quick solution by filing divoce proceedings. Please be cautious before jumping to them if there is any ray of hope left with you for patch up with your wife and parents.

Wish you all the best.
Uma parameswaran (Expert) 21 February 2009
Dear Balasubramanian .

It is a common problem seen in many families.But all are not trying to go for Divorce.If it happens family courts wanted to open like tea stalls.The letter is full of your wife's action.What about you? Our society is in the path of transition.The male population is but still in our traditional way which is made up from feudal and agricultural way of life.You people want to open the eyes and see the changes.Be apart of it.Try to be a model in this modern world.Convince her with relatives and friends.Allow her to develop intellectually. Counsel your parents.Change yourself.Find out your fault and clarify with your wife. You are a good person,because you asked experts opinion.So I think you still love your wife.In this stage you are the have the time.Matter is with you.With your intellectual way of thinking you can convince her and take her back.Try to live some days with her in her family. Both of you need family counseling.Not Divorce.It will give you a relief in this stage. Be positive.Best wishes
MANISH (Expert) 21 February 2009
Dear Mr. Balasubramaniyan ji,
It seems that you need a counsellor or a mediator rather than a lawyer, who could patch up the disputes occuring between both of you. Always try to cope up with the situation, and go to court only when there seems no way out.
I agree with Mr. Tribhuwan Pandey and support him.
Ravi Arora (Expert) 21 February 2009
Mr. Pandey is very right and very sensible advice

B.B.R.Goud. (Expert) 23 February 2009
you need to counsel your wife, parents and yourself before the family counselling center in the court.

under the same circumstances, if she approaches the court under 498A of IPC, she gets divorce. but the same is not available for men.

you can apply for judicial separation without disturbances under Sec 10 of Hindu Marriage Act, instead of divorce, keeping in view of daughter.
Hiralal Das (Expert) 05 April 2009
I do agree with the valuable opinions of the learned members. Thanks all of you.
Balasubramanian.G (Querist) 29 May 2009
Hi All,
I'm sorry for not replying for this thread for a long time. I want to reply for the queries of Uma. I want to list out the Family daily routines. You know my parents will process the vegetables and make it ready before 7.00 am. Myself and my parents will take care of the my baby from 7.00 am to 7.30 am. After i will sweep the house and get bathed and lit the lamp and do the poojas for God. My wife never took part in Pooja as she will be busy with cooking. She has to cook rice, dal, vegetable thru cooker and make it ready before 8.10 am and i will start at that time. So work is evenly distributed amongst us. Being a young woman and being lazy she will make most problems and hurt my parents and me most of the time. Her family will do anything for money. She never obeyed my words. She always hates my parents and ppl say just put your parents apart somewhere as she dislikes them. She says if i come to your home i feel the tension, stress, depression and all. And also she attempted suicide once by openinig the LPG Cylinder for half-an-hour. She wants to make us slaves and try to throw my parents out of my home. But she did not say this directly but creating more problems with my parents.
And her characters are not good and does not coincide with my family. Taking care of my parents is my duty. She wants to live independent. She can, but my parents are not independent. Our laws are all supporting unscrupulous, unfaithful, unpious wife just because she is women. These gender based laws makes me hate the 498 Cr.Pc and most of the rules in these area of HMA. My wife ran away from my home on Feb 03,2009. When i contacted a lawyer he said if you have to divorce her we have pay some 6-8 lakhs. Women are swindling mans hard earned money exploiting them. "It is usurpation of fruits of fruits of labour of a man in the guise of gender biased welfare laws". I like the recent judgement titled "No maintenenace for Able bodied person". (ref:
My wife is BCA and she was working in some BPO and she is able to earn which is her parents wish also. They always ask her "why you are not going to you Job?" irrespective of family situations.
Shashwat Shukla (Expert) 05 June 2009
Mr. Subramaniam,
you may take advise from any consultant psycho therapist along with your wife bcoz you both are well qualified and thereafter consult any counselor of family disputes and if you think that there is no possibility to meet out relations then you should take divorce with mutual consent mentioning therein that she is also a working lady and need no maintenance and further collect evidence for working as well as her salary for future.
Shashwat Shukla (Expert) 05 June 2009
you may file a complaint against your wife and her family members thru registered post to the S.S.P. concern on several occasions mentioning all the facts and circumstances for your safeguard. In case there is some mis happening occurs in your family life, your this action will protect you and your family members from any criminal liabilities.
Balasubramanian.G (Querist) 08 June 2009
I thank you very much for your Advice Mr. Shaswat Shukla. We are all confused what to do next as my peaceful life is very much disturbed. she came twice to my office and every one noted including my MD. He also asked "what is your problem as ur wife comes down often to office?". I'm very much fed up. I'm think of charging her of "unsound mind", as her talks and actions are all idiotic. For example she says " you resign your job and take care of the baby, i will run away somewhere else from this home as i don't want to stay in this home. Also her another complaint is she feels depressed whenever she comes to my home. So i want to stop her coming to my home and also i have to save my life and prevent her from suicidal attempts. This is my main concern for divorce. Also her father insulted all of us in the marriage and she also did many bare acts like suicidal attempt and running away from my family. Every one asking me "we came to know that your wife had ran away from your home?" We don't know what to reply. We all living without wife and family which is my fate of marrying her. So i want to come out of this bad relationship.
Balasubramanian.G (Querist) 08 June 2009
Just a correction in my previous mail, i want to replace "I'm living without wife and baby which is my fate of marrying her." in place of "We all living without wife and family which is my fate of marrying her."
Balasubramanian.G (Querist) 08 June 2009
Dear Mr. Shukla, please explain me to whom i have to send my complaint. which you have mentioned as S.S.P. My residence is in Chennai. Where i have to file the complaint? My first priority is to safeguard my family members from any criminal liabilities.
Manish Raghav (Expert) 13 June 2009
Dear Subramaniam,

Please file a section 9 HMA application in the court at chennai asking your wife to join your company. if she fails to do so than it will become a good ground for divorce after a year when you get section 9 decree in your favor.

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