Break an engagement that has happenned in 2012
subash
(Querist) 04 November 2014
This query is : Resolved
Hello Experts
I was in love with a girl for 5+ years and we convinced our parents to get married,engagement happenned in jan 2012 .Here is the real problem after engagement there was incompatibility between both the families,myself and her and decided to seperate by May 2012..Engagement happenned at my place with our expenses...As this is a love marriage proposal NO DOWRY Question here ..Only ring and a new dress have been given to me ....
After that we have decided to get an affidavit -formal paper process to break this contract and return the ring,photos and my distant uncles friend who is a lawyer came to help us with the content..
From 2012 till date girls father used to drag the process everytime asking the content in the affidavit to be changed and we did it several times (nothing but want to delay this whole thing)...
Even we had health problems so 2012,13 and now 14 is passing by...He is always asking that my parents should come and sign the affidavit ...From day 1 he is very stubborn on this..Durig 2012,13 we conveyed the message that if they want signatures they could come to our place and all flight expenses shall be beared by us but they wanted my parents to come to their city and sign ..Also they have spent 20k on engagement expenses and wanted us to return..we are ready to do that as well...
No conversations between the girl and me and also between both the families from the past 2.9 yrs ..
Final Email from the girl to me in 2012:
"I will not come across any of your future engagements or marriages,I also want to get out of this mess ..I will inform the place date and time u can come and give/take the ring...
This situation is so tricky we are not able to read their mind ...Girls father recently spoke to my uncle when we were setting a date and time for getting this affidavits signed and uncle says he spoke very decently and no signs of anger (but who will disclose it on the phone about their actions)...
1) If my parents come Can they be any police sort of action being taken by them?
Please suggest what can be done to solve this
Suggestions from lawyers whom i have met
1) Legal Notice : Cant do that because we want to settle this amicably
2)Disclose the whole thing about this broken Engagement whenever you are planning to look at new alliances...
Experts on this forum Please suggest on how to move forward and settle this amicably :)
Thanks in Advance...
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 04 November 2014
If the engagement is broken then why are you insisting so much on affidavit. it is not necessary if the marriage is called off mutually.
In this situation i do not find any police involvement.
Try to extract a formal e-mail from her about your current status and return the gifts, if nay.
That is all.
P. Venu
(Expert) 04 November 2014
You are going hyper-technical. Marriage is sacrament than a contract. If the love-affair engagement could not mature into marriage, let it have a smooth and decent conclusion.
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 04 November 2014
Too long query, be precise, otherwise engage a local lawyer.
Guest
(Expert) 04 November 2014
Consult a Local Good Advocate.If any thing has to be Returned Return it thro your Advocate and take Receipts.Stop Communicating with them and Record their conversations and be Protected Legally.Still whether you feel she still Loves you and what about you.If So meet her in person and Sort it out.All the Best.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 04 November 2014
YOU FOOL
GET MARRIED UNDER SP MARRIAGE ACT WITH A GIRL U LOVED FOR OVER 5 YRS.
START YOUR LIFE.
WHY DRAG FOR PARENTS.. NOW???
ajay sethi
(Expert) 04 November 2014
dont issue legal notice . send cheque for engagement expenses along with forwarding letter that cheque has been issued in full and final settlement of claim for expenses incurred on engagement .
K.K.Ganguly
(Expert) 04 November 2014
1. Hope you have adequate nos. of letters/emails to prove that the said engagemenet has been called off mutually,
2. If you know the bank account no. of your GF or her father, send the amount of engagement expenses electronically through your Bank account. Otherwise, send a demand draft to her or her father,
3. No police case can be visualised here,
4. No such affidavit is required. The engagement is already called off,
5. Relax.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 04 November 2014
you may better meet a psychiatrist. Many persons break engagement but do not insist upon such affidavit which none will give.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 04 November 2014
No need of any affidavit, move on your life. Though nothing is to be faced, but if it is to be faced, your affidavit would not alter the situation at initial stage.
Morally, if your love still exist, try to marry the girl you have loved.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 05 November 2014
No need to send your parents to their place.
Return the gifts through a known person/ common friend and get her acknowledgement.
Return the expenses as claimed by them (as you are willing to return) after ascertaining their bank account.
As experts rightly commented, marriage is not to be treated as commercial contract. You have evidence that both of you went back on issue of marriage after engagement. That is sufficient in case in future if they attempt any legal action. Instead, you are attempting legal process by asking affidavit etc., which is not at all necessary.
Get married yourself. Yes, your advocate is correct that you should disclose these facts to the prospective bride to avoid any future problems on this issue.
Don't trouble the trouble until the trouble troubles you!
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 05 November 2014
I borrow from Mr Jaggarao
"Don't trouble the trouble until the trouble troubles you!"
They could have even raised dowry demand allegation (true/false) and brought untold(may be undeserving) misery to entire family.
Why are you testing limits of their decency.
subash
(Querist) 07 November 2014
To all the experts I owe you a big thank you for reading my question and for giving me your valuable suggestions..
Few clarifications :
1) In the year 2012 - It is not my family alone who asked for a formal copy but (Both the families) have thought to get a formal document in place with content "No one should interfere in each others life,return gifts and because of horoscope incompatibility we are cancelling this engagement" (just summarized)..
2) Sir,they have been meeting my uncle's friend who is kind of a mediator and a lawyer for 2 yrs 9months but never came forward to SOLVE this ISSUE..
3)My parents have signed that copy with a DD of the requested amount by them to our lawyer but they are asking my parents to come for 2 reasons
1)Not trusting my parents signature
2) Wanted to get it signed in front of them
4) We are ready to go,meet and sign at our mediators place but even today they are dragging this week by week saying that they are busy (I dont understand why)
Sir I only have an email from that girl as evidence on gmail :"she will not come across my future engagements or marriages"
For ex : If we disclose to our new proposed alliance that my first engagement got cancelled and provided if they agree and when we go ahead for an engagement ceremony and a marriage proposal ..Will there be any possible "Legal action" taken by our First party ?
Thanks for reading my clarifications patiently,such a long message is to give a clear picture on what happenned so that i can receive the right advice from experts on this forum...
Guest
(Expert) 07 November 2014
Consult a Local Good Advocate Request him To serve a notice stating if they do not Co Operate for their requirements with in a stipulated time No Further Interventions From both the sides and put an end Explain the Advocate in detail and Sort it out taking his help and Guidance.Let all the Future Correspondences thro Advocate Only.
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 07 November 2014
I agree with the experts views on the subject query, nothing more to add.
