Mental torture by husband.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 03 December 2011
This query is : Resolved
I have been married for last 17 years and have 13yr old daughter. My husband has shifted back to India 1 yr back. He is acting very funny after he has come back. He drinks practically every alternate days and creates scene at home. He shows his dissatisfaction about everything. And critisizes me, my daughter and my mother in law, who is living with us. All this is causing terrible mental trauma on all of us, especially my daughter. So much so that she is not able to concetrete on her studies or other activities. He earns good money, therefore always tries to show that he is superior to us and we are like his servants. He always complains about food cooked at home. We are basically vegetarian, but he expects non veg food at home. He drinks at home and also outside. Fights with people. All this creates a lot of tension. Please advice as to what should I do?
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 03 December 2011
Now please clarify how you want this to be resolved- through court or through negotiation?
Through court you may get several reliefs to get rid of these alleged tortures and punishment for him then you could initiate case u/s 498A , 406 IPC,etc. For monetary reliefs you have recourse u/s 124 crpc, u/s 12 of PWDV Act etc.
But all these most likely comes at the cost of an united family. If you are ready to incur that loss then go ahead, else engage seniors and try to make hi see reasons which is nevertheless time consuming to say the least.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 03 December 2011
Devjyoti Barman had already replied well.
I believe you resided without your husband for a very long period, as he was in foreign, earned well, send you a good amount, and you were habitually at your Liberty, as H is away.
If So, you had change of such Company, environmental, and you suffer for last one year due to his presence, who maintained well for last 15 years out of your 17 years of Married Life.
If So, take care, consult Sr common relatives, Sr, Marriage Councillor, Open Up your Problem and try to solve it amicably.
Let your Husband know,that his act increases suffering of all of you.
Ask him what he want? Why he is upset?
A Hidden reason, root cause may be different, Both of you are not going to publish your weakness, or fault on this Public platform, but without knowing it, it cannot be cured too.
Be honest, clear, and ask him politely, sweetly, adding all the love you have for him, and do not fight.
Advised to go together for Pilgrimage, Religious Meetings, Meditation Centers of say Osho, It help understanding Life, bring Peace , removing Tension, be happy.
M/s. Y-not legal services
(Expert) 04 December 2011
you only know the problems in your family.,
barman sir, and shroff sir well advised to you., i am also thinking that you lost your freedom, just be practical., you may be vegetarian, but if you served non veg for your loved one mean it is criminal offense? and recover him from liqours in not a big issue., you can do it by your love.,
just try to be tolerate.,
Shonee Kapoor
(Expert) 06 December 2011
Nothing more to add.
Regards,
Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 17 January 2012
In Matrimonial :
There are Advocates, who want to use sword of Law, and yes, it gives them chance to earn. No doubt, advise is true and Legal, correct too. May lack wisdom. They are Basically Lawyers, knowsa and use Laws, that gives immediate relief to client, Like Dr. on Allopathy. They don’t care opposite party is harmed, and their life get cracked forever.
In hot temper especially wife, run to them, it is hot, burning, very attractive, and they fall in this deep well, from where, they cannot come back in same family life.
There are Advocates, who really want to cure the clients. They are experts in law, but do not use it as sword. They are like Vaid and Ayurvedivc Medicine, bitter dust, takes longer time, but cures for longer time, remove dieses from root. If one Party do not agree for this medicine, and open sword of Law, these Adv will also use their weapon of Law, to teach a lesson, and win the case, but will not to harm anyone. When come to sense, they may either re-unite, or leave each other sweetly, peacefully, without harming,
Those who start with 498, DV are the first type, [ straight –ve thinker, who supports ladies, jail hussy’s fly
Those who try to analyze the reason for mis-understanding, and suggest to remove the root cause of matrimonial dispute are of 2nd type.[ straight +ve thinkers, who fires both party, do not trouble any party, Gives them chance to review their relationship]
Marriage is a very very sacred relation, accepted all over the world.
A child is born out of the result of this relationship that continues generation in this world. .
It need lots of understanding on both the side, lots have to be scarified, leave selfishness, love and try to make opp party happy, leaving aside your interest, and it gives result. One get fruit of all these act. Both must be faithful to each other, work for each other, and should never think to harm each other at all cost.
Just start using sword of Law to cut opp party, cannot be a noble profession of Advocates.
God had given an opportunity to serve , and we should serve disturbed Husband and Wife, not to see how they pay adv. , where is more money?? Even if they loose happy married life, children usually lose their father, and ultimately that child can become criminals, spoils society, and us also.
The older philosophy of Indian culture, saying “Swamy” and “Nari tu Narayani, a Devi, a goddess.“ was ideal. Now the same Ladies expose themselves nude, prone, on internet, spreading message of offering temporary immediate pleasure, that leads to permanent Pain.
As such Pleasure follows pain, and Pain follows Pleasure. It’s your choice what you want First, remember, the coin had two faces. It immediately follows.
Let all Husband and Wife, under dispute understand it.
Decide which Dr. you consult for this illness.
What is your objective, and where you want to be exactly after 12 years from today, Calculator age of your child, and yours, and carrier, financial position, Social status, before 12 years, toddy, and after 12 years, if you act in suggested Legal remedy.
Choice is yours, and it will affect you only, with your relatives, not to us.
“Ghoda bhi Apka, Maidan Bhi Apka.” We can only suggest. U have to act.
