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(Querist) 25 October 2014 This query is : Resolved 
Dear Experts,

I am Shilpa. I got married on 14-April-2014 in the present of all the parents and relatives.Which was an arranged marriage.Please note that this was my second marriage.

Post the marriage i got to know that the person i married to is the chain smoker, drinker, and the sadist(I mean the mental torturer, and troubling me like anything for each and every word i speak and utter, and taking money from me and troubled a lot if i am not giving etc). and also i got to know that after marriage he is much elder than me (Around 15 years older than me ). and as well as he had affairs with 2 females where he used to tell me as well. And he used to lock me in the room and used to go out in the late night also to speak to those ladies. He married me just because i earn and give him a money. And i will not come out of him since this is my second marriage(Even for him it is a second marriage).

But,i could not able to sustain my life with him since finally he was even ready to sell me off for money to his friends(Which he was telling some times.) So i decided to come out of him. With my parents consent and by informing him and his parents i came out of the house on 01-July-2014.

For all mentioned above i don't have any proofs.Our marriage is not registered and i don't even have any photos(Since they have only called the photographer). I just have the photos of engagement. I have consulted a lawyer. He is saying that with out any proof we may not be able to win.And till now he is not even ready to send the notice.As he suggested we tried to speak to them(I mean with him and his parents). they agreed that his son has done a mistake and they are saying that they will correct him.

I am not at all ready to go back to him. I am preferring this to end up in Mutual consent.Since i don't want to waste my time in life for him.

The only proofs i have by now is just few recordings and messages which i recorded when i came out of the house. where he agreed that he has taken money from me and that he has done mistake and requested me to go back.

I purely agree that me and my parents have not done the clear back ground verification of the boy. We went ahead with the words told by them and the confidence given by our close relatives(Who stays near there place).Now they end up saying they don't know about him.They just know his parents. :(

Kindly suggest/help me to come out of this situation. I am really going down day by day. Just because of me my entire family is in sink.

Shilpa Patel
Kapil Chandna (Expert) 25 October 2014

There are some ways which will help you out, and for the same please call and discuss.

Adv Kapil Chandna
Dr J C Vashista (Expert) 26 October 2014
1. At this stage you have the only option for a mutual consent divorce, if you can obtain his consent.
2. Otherwise, file divorce petition for cruelity, and adultary (after collecting sufficient proof)and one year after this marriage.
3. Besides this, move application/ complaint before local police (your place of residence) for demanding dowery and cheating.
4. You just forget your past that this was your (and his) second marriage, it has no relevancy in present circumstances.
5. Engage a fresh local lawyer if your advocate is discouraging and/or asking some more information, the position is very clear, or seek second opinion.
6. Relax, donot take any step in a hurry.
Devajyoti Barman (Expert) 26 October 2014
Agree with Vashithaji.
ajay sethi (Expert) 26 October 2014
you r marriage was solemnised only in April 2014 . you cant file for divorce before expiry of one year from date of marriage except in exceptional circumstances . you must be having wedding invitation card . contact the photographer and obtain wedding photographs . on said basis you can file for divorce even if marriage is not registered
Anirudh (Expert) 26 October 2014
1. You do not want to be with him.

2. You have already come out of his house, specially with your parent's consent.

3. Now you are living with your parents.

Be with your parents. Nobody can disturb you. In the meanwhile, try to engage detective agency to find out about him and gather evidence. (It will surely involve cost, most, and the detectives may even ouble cross you. Therefore you have to go to a reputed detective agency only).

If he comes, say that you are not ready to go with him. He cannot compel you.

He has to file RCR. At that time, put all your points (whether you have proof or not).

Even if RCR is against you, you need not abide. He has to file for Divorce. Get the divorce.

Once you have decided to get out of the mess, and you have come out away from him that too with your parent's consent, I just do not know your saying "I am really going down day by day. Just because of me my entire family is in sink."

First and foremost you should be happy that you could come out of the mess very quickly. And instead of appreciating this, if you go down day by day, you will only be succumbing to his dictates. Choice is yours and your parents.
Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 26 October 2014
Well advised, agree with the experts.
Shilpa (Querist) 26 October 2014
Deal All,

Firstly, I would like to thank you all for the very quick and practical responses. And for the support you all have given me.

I am summarizing the reply to meet all of your suggestions(kindly excuse me if I have missed any main points).

Vashista Sir, am finding my best ways to get this to be completed in the Mutual consent. This morning I got to discuss with my lawyer. he is clearly aware of the other party as well. Since the previous discussion with other party had happened in his office only. My father in law challenged us that he will take me back at any cost.. even he can wait for 12 years also for me.(He is already 73 ).

As me, my lawyer is also in confusion that whether they will come for mutual or for the case. Whether we have to send the notice or not. And he told me the reason for delaying sending the notice. Since I am just 27, if it happened to be a case my next few years will be wasted in the wandering to the court and in the fighting. But today he has given me a new idea. I am not really convinced about it. He said “ I(with parents) can go to police station(One of our relative works for other station. He could help us there) and put a 498A on him saying that he has come to my house and fought with me and all. When he called from police station ,he might agree to come for a mutual consent”. The risk involved in this is ,He works for a marketing field. He will be in travelling most of the time. Since I am not in touch with him I am unaware of his travelling plan. Kindly suggest whether it is a right approach or not. I am little scared of this since I have never done such tasks.

And, Ajay sir is it not the exceptional case to come out before 1 year? Yes, I have the wedding card with me. I tried contacting the photographer last month. He is already instructed by in laws. He is not ready to give the photos.

As Anirudh sir mentioned, I called just dial and got many detective agencies numbers to identify the above. I will have to follow up with few of it based on the ratings provided. I am doing this tomorrow.

I happened to google regarding the RCR. Since I am unaware of this law. What I understood is “It is an order by a court to the spouse who left her matrimonial duties without sufficient reason.”. That means he would have raised at time I left. Is it correct what I understood? And Can he still raise it now? And will I be notified that he has raided the RCR?

Kindly let me know if any other information required from me.

Thank you all again.

Shilpa Patel
V R SHROFF (Expert) 27 October 2014

You better live with your parents.
Do not agree u married him on 14-April-2014. What r proof, Say U R UNMARRIED.


DO U UNDERGONE MARRIAGE PROCEESS & REGD UR 2Nd MARRIAGE?? If he proves ur marriage, file Divorce as unbearable cruelty, & hardship, including unnatural s..

Photos not sufficient proof of ur 2nd marriage
Dr J C Vashista (Expert) 27 October 2014
Go through the expert opinion of Mr. Anirudh clubbing with mine that would give you sufficient ammunition for further proceeding.
Let your father-in-law may wait for next 12+12+12 years, no one (including the Court Order)can force you to rejoin the society of your husband, if you are unwilling.
Again I would advise to take further steps for divorce in a very peaceful thoughtout tactical manner with a calm/relaxed mood.
malipeddi jaggarao (Expert) 27 October 2014
You came out of the house and living with your parents and you are an earning member. There is no fast track for divorce except Mutual Consent and it is clear that he will not give consent. Forget for some time that you are married to this man and live peacefully. Let him take further steps then you can think of what to do. RCR though ordered, as rightly pointed by expert Mr.Vashista cannot force you to join with him. It is too early to give serious thinking on this issue, as nothing is in your hands right now to take any step. Do not go for 498a against your conscience.

What happened to the first marriage of that man as well as yours? You are silent on this aspect. Lot of supporting evidence can be derived by analysing the reasons for break of first marriage on both sides.

As regards photos issue, they are not that important as you have the wedding card and some of your relatives will give evidence that marriage is solemnized (if such evidence is required from your side).

My advice is live your own life ignoring these issues for the present. Ofcourse, if you want to settle this issue at the earliest possible and go for another marriage, it is not that easy. When the issues emerge from his side, you can think of what to do.
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Expert) 27 October 2014
You have been advised very well after thoroughly analysing your problems, by all the experts, leaving nothing more to add.
Shilpa (Querist) 28 October 2014
Dear All,

I convinced my Lawyer to not to go with the 498A  Even he himself was not ready for 498A for me as a choice today.

The reason being , there are strict rules are followed for 498A section latest new which I had seen yesterday. Even he was updated with that news.

Thank you all for the strong and confident suggestion on this section for not to go with this.

From him there are no moves at all with respect to this issue. And it will not be there also. He is fine himself .Since I wanted to get rid of this I will have to raise this up and close it.

I am ending up with sending the notice to his house now. Now the notice is in drafting stage. I will share the highlights from the same documents here.

Thank you all again.

Thanks and Regards,
Shilpa Patel
Shilpa (Querist) 06 December 2014
Hi All,

I am hoping for your reply ASAP.

This is to update you all from the above is, we have got to know that my husbend was already married a women in 2005. even before he divorce the first one and without intimating to her.

Now, my question is should i need to apply for the divorce still or what should be my next action? Tomo he is coming to us with lawyer for drafting a divorce.

As per the information i red in Internet is my marriage is void. How do i need to come out of it.

Pls pls pls... i am waiting for all of your's reply v badly.

Shilpa Patel
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Expert) 06 December 2014
If your husband has a subsisting marriage on the date of marrying you, the present marriage is null and void, however, you may file a petition u/s 12 of HMA for annulling your marriage on the same grounds but this should be within one year from the date of knowledge of the issue.
Shilpa (Querist) 07 December 2014
Thank you for reply Kalaiselvan Sir.

Yes, this will be within a year.

Could you please brief me about annulling? In the net i just get to know the meaning of the same.

Dose it take the same time as Divorce? and do i need to pay the same amount to my lawyer as i will have to pay for divorce? And the procedures followed for these two are same?

I am still not clear why my lawyer is wanting me to take divorce?

Shilpa Pate
malipeddi jaggarao (Expert) 07 December 2014
A new fact is flashed now that he was already married and before divorce from such marriage, again he married you. You need a good advocate who is familiar with family law to settle your matters. The fee differs from lawyer to lawyer. As expert MR.Kalaiselvan advised, your marriage would become null and void and you have to file petition for annulling the marriage. Online advice is limited to the point, but not to help in filing the case in the court and maintain it day to day.
Shilpa (Querist) 31 December 2014
Good Morning to you all,

My separation/divorce issue is now reached to below mentioned stage.

Mr.Raghavendra(My Husband) have decided to divorce both of us. i.e to me and to Mangala(The one who married earlier than me with him).

Mr.Raghavendra is filing the mutual divorce in court on 1st week of the Jan2015 with Mangala. And he request us that, he would come back to us once they finish the formality of this divorce.

Here my concern is, is it that if he apply for the divorce there at the same time can’t he apply for the divorce with me as well?

Do I need to wait until the other divorce to get complete?

Shilpa Patel
Shilpa (Querist) 02 January 2015
Can i have your experts advise on the above?
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Expert) 02 January 2015
As advised earlier, let his file a divorce case against his wife (first) or not, it is his botheration. As far as your marriage is concerned it is null and void because as on the date of your marriage, his previous marriage subsisted thereby making this marriage void. Therefore he cannot file a divorce against you to dissolve the marriage which legally did not exist. Do not accept it, instead you may file for annulment of marriage.
Shilpa (Querist) 04 January 2015
Thank you very much Kalaiselvan sir.You have cleared my doubt what i had in mind.
He is coming to us this week for discussion and signing.
I will update you all once the process is completed. Thank you for your support.

Shilpa Patel

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