Extra marital affair of 55 year old man

Ram Kumar (Querist) 02 November 2016 This query is : Resolved
My father is a 55 years old man got engaged in an extra marital affair for last 1 year. When the family got to know about this, we asked him to leave us and live a separate life with the other lady.

But now, he wants to live with us. He also told us that he will inform other lady that he won't be engaging further with her.

He tried the same, changed his number and didn't talk to her for 3-4 days. That lady is a depression patient and she went to a nursing home with the complaint that she had an overdose of her depression medicine due to my father. Her family members or friends then called on my and my mother's number saying that if my father doesn't come we will have to face the repercussions.

Nursing home informed the police and gave them an MLC. The policeman came to us other day and asked my father to come to come to police station. She returned fine after 1-2 days and went to police station complaining that if my father does not come to meet her, she will file rape case against him.

Police then asked us to compromise with her and agree on her demand that my father will visit her daily for one hour. Now my father is living a life where family is not accepting him and he does not want to visit that lady as well.

My query is that the lady is a psycho and also threatened us that if my father will not come to visit her she will commit suicide and write my mother's name in the letter as the reason for that. Whereas my mother has no role in this.

She does not demand any money and only wants that my father live with her. Whereas, he does not want to go there at all.

My mother wants to get separated with my father and live with us. I am a 30 year old married man living with my family.

Now I plan to live with my wife and sister and mother. We want to get separated from our father so that no one threatens us for his bad deed.

Please advice.

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Guest (Expert) 02 November 2016
You have mentioned three problems in one. Let your father settle his own issue of his extra marital affairs with the concerned lady, whom you declare to be a psycho.

Since your mother wants to get separated from your father, ask her to apply for divorce.

Further, since you want to live separately with your wife, sister and mother, you are quite free to live separately from your father or even from your mother also, as you are fully capable to take your own decisions. Legally, you don't have any restrictions.

Ram Kumar (Querist) 02 November 2016
Thank you for making me notice that sir. I should have pointed my concerns correctly:

1) My father is a weak personality and if we get separated from our father, he says that he will leave everyone and go to Haridwar or any place, but will not go to that lady.

So I am concerned in that case, if that lady attempts or commits any suicide, will that effect us or my mother.

Or

if she files a rape case against my father, will that effect us or my mother, because that lady might share our number and police will start calling us. We don't want to get involved in that.

Guest (Expert) 02 November 2016
Mr. Ram Kumar,

Your father wants to live with you and your mother, but your mother wants to get separated from hi, and you also don't want to live separate from your father. When none of you want to have any link with your father, why you are worried with the fate of your so called weak personality. In that case I have already suggested you the very simple solutions.

I do not prefer to respond to assumptions, not being incidents or real problems, like you have asked, "if that lady attempts or commits any suicide, will that effect us or my mother."

Or

"if she files a rape case against my father, will that effect us or my mother."

In that case, I would rather like to request the expert, Shri Kumar Doab, to share his views, as he likes to give solutions to assumptions and presumption of academic queries.

Ram Kumar (Querist) 02 November 2016
Thank you very much sir. I know that I might be asking few very irrelevant questions.

But I am in a state, where my family is scared as we had to sit with my father at police thana for 6-7 hours and investigation officer was doing nothing, but scaring us telling us stories of different cases and if we didn't compromise, my father will have to go to jail and our family will suffer due to that.

Guest (Expert) 02 November 2016
Dear Ram Kumar,

Since none of your family member wants to keep any relation with your father and he also has stated, "he will leave everyone and go to Haridwar or any place". So, better let him go to Haridwar or at any other place. That way you will quite easily get rid of him. Rather, you would also be free to tell that lady to go to Haridwar by following him.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 03 November 2016
"for 6-7 hours and investigation officer was doing nothing, but scaring us telling us stories of different cases and if we didn't compromise, my father will have to go to jail and our family will suffer due to that. "

Don't you consider that police has done a favour to you by giving such example rather making your father an example for others to learn.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 03 November 2016
Now the threat of going to Haridwar

do you really think that it is so easy and cheap for a week willed person to go and live and Haridwar (a highly crowded and commercialized pilgrim place)and not being traced.

Guest (Expert) 03 November 2016
Mr. Ram Kumar,

Nobody can get scared in connection with any hypothetical query.

First of all, when you stated that your father "got engaged in an extra marital affair for last 1 year," that time your mother did not think of getting separated from him. Not only that you and other members of your family also did not think about getting separated that time.

You stated, "When the family got to know about this, we asked him to leave us and live a separate life with the other lady." A question arises, why was expected to leave his own house, not you people, if all of you got objection to his extra-marital affair?

You have further stated, "But now, he wants to live with us." You have nowhere stated that he left you to live with her on your asking. So, where the question arises for his desire to live with you people, when assumed to be already living with you people.

In fact your query raises several questions, which clearly represent that your story is hypothetical one, not a real problem, as I guess.

Since Shri Kumar Doab welcomes persons with such type of hypothetical and academic queries that is why I requested him to satisfy you by sharing his knowledge with you.

Best of luck!

Devajyoti Barman (Expert) 03 November 2016
Why do not your father go to undisclosed location for sometime and let the lady forget him.
There is no other way out if the lady is indeed a psycho.

Guest (Expert) 03 November 2016
Only way out is to contact or get the guidance of Psychiatric who is treating that lady (Since that Psychiatric knows her proper case) take his advice secretly what should be done in this case. And another Psychiatric opinion should be also taken .

Additionally, I remembered similar case of one lady , I hope this case and background can help you to get into insight of such cases too

1) The boy was from the family which had assassinated top most person in India.

2) Girl was from another family.

3) The girl had its own personal problem and background of depression etc.

4) She use to go and catch the boy who was already married and had children , and talk with her for hours.

5) The fact was that she had no sexual relationship or physical relationship with that man . But society or people felt that they had. And that boy was only giving patient hearing to that lady , and there was no one in society who could give that patient hearing to that lady including her siblings close relatives etc.

4) The only source for that lady to open her mind was that boy.

5) When she tried to end her life everyone tried to blame the boy with their own fantasy imagaination . And boy was confused what to do , he was thorough gentleman , his family although controversial to whole India (but was respected in their community with high regards for what his grand father did, In India any person can get respect for what he does because after all it is democracy. ) and there was some chaos in their personal life too.

-------------------------------------

So when you raised this incident it just reminded me of this case.

1) May be that lady must be just talking talking to your father for hours (Not sure) , if physical /sexual relationship is there then she may be using that thing thing not for pleasure but to get security to keep some one close to her whom she have confidence etc.

2) Take Psychiatric opinion how to deal with your case , and also let your father be open what kind of relatiionship he has with that lady , privately .

3) Women Psychology too required to be studied in this case

----------------------------------------

Remember dealing with such case if not properly handled will result like the way I gave eg. of that boy who did nothing and was honest and society or girls relative started blaiming him

R.K Nanda (Expert) 03 November 2016
nothing to add more.

P. Venu (Expert) 03 November 2016
The query contains more of fears and anxieties than any problem involving any legal element.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 03 November 2016
If you want to support your father against the threats of other lady, support him boldly in all ways, do not bow before the lady, face the case and come out of the trouble through court. There would be harassment for some time but would get rid of the problem.

or Your father can depart to some other place, not easily traceable, police may tease you for some time to give his adress.

or, bow before the demand of that lady, let your father live with that lady. You and your mother are not willing to live with your father.

Dr J C Vashista (Expert) 04 November 2016
Police cannot take any action for a patient reporting nursing home for depression.

No nursing home shall prepare MLC for a disease "depression".

Pure hypothetical and concocted academic story.

Guest (Expert) 04 November 2016
I endorse the views of Dr. J.C. Vashista.

I wonder, Mr. Kumar Doab has not shared his knowledgeable thoughts in this academic query, even on request.

Ram Kumar (Querist) 04 November 2016
Thank you all for your views. Your views have motivated me and my family a lot.

I dont know what Mr. P.S Dhingra sir mean by academic query, but just to clear that I am not any law student.

I am a layman who got stuck in this issues and asking questions like a small kid, which are mostly based on assumptions, because I have to take care of my family and decide every step by consulting with experts like you.

Thank you every one. I will keep you posted about what happened next. Were my assumptions wrong or right and how your views helped me to get rid of this issue.

Really really thank you!

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 04 November 2016
You are welcome.

Guest (Expert) 05 November 2016
Mr. Ram Kumar, I don't think you are so ignorant that you can't understand the meaning of academic question. I have already pointed out about your controversial statements.

Anyway, that is fine, if your query is solved.

Ram Kumar (Querist) 07 November 2016
What is the procedure of Judiacial separation of a couple and how much time does it take.

Please suggest.

Guest (Expert) 07 November 2016
Police has No Powers to Decide Visiting Hours for Illegal and Immoral affairs.If that Lady Suffers she is Reaping the Consequences of her Illegal/Immoral activities.If your Father Prefers to be with your Mother/his wife Do Not discourage him atleast Now he is Realising his Mistakes.One thing you Understand Your Mother would always Love him which you may Not understand in her expressions.

Guest (Expert) 07 November 2016
You may follow the advice of Shri N.J.S. Rajkumar.

If your mother still insists for judicial separation, hire services of a local lawyer to file your mother's application of divorce in the competent court of law. He will do rest of the work for judicial separation. You will not have top bother much in that case.

Ram Kumar (Querist) 07 November 2016
Thank you NJS Rajkumar sir and PS Dhingra sir.

The issue is that if our father remains with us, and dont meet or take calls of that lady. She has threatened to commit suicide and take my father and mother name in that.

Also, she has dragged us to police station complaining that if my father does not meet her, she will lodge a rape case aginst him which is section 376 and the IO of our case is trying to be smart and helping the lady, because he knows that lady will give her nothing, but he might get something from us as we are a family and scared of society.

He does not know that we are also lower middle class people and have nothing to spend on our father.

Guest (Expert) 07 November 2016
Mr. Ram Kumar,

Sorry, no help, except to suggest, your father has to counter her charge by hiring a local lawyer, if FIR is lodged or the police is helping her or case is actually filed in the court.

Enough has already been advised. You can act accordingly.

Guest (Expert) 07 November 2016
Consult A Local Good Advocate at Free Local Aid Forums of your Near by Court.Record her Threatening as Evidence.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 07 November 2016
Whatsoever step you want to take, be firm after discussing pros and cons with your lawyer.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 07 November 2016
"He does not know that we are also lower middle class people and have nothing to spend on our father."

Sorry to say the behaviour of your father was not of a lower middle class man.

Guest (Expert) 07 November 2016
Respected Mr.Sudhir Kumar whether you mean to Say Such of sort of Sin/crime/offence/activity is Not for a lower middle class man/or even poor man Obviously you mean to say only Rich Men can do this.I only prefer to say better i do not want to.I Leave it to your Imagination/assumption.Obviously you would Understand.

Guest (Expert) 07 November 2016
Mr.Sudhir Kumar basing on your Experience ? You should have analysed these sort of things are very much Irrelevant to status.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 08 November 2016

Theissue has already been analysed and well commented by Mr RK Goyal as under :-

“If you want to support your father against the threats of other lady, support him boldly in all ways, do not bow before the lady, face the case and come out of the trouble through court. There would be harassment for some time but would get rid of the problem.

or Your father can depart to some other place, not easily traceable, police may tease you for some time to give his address.

or, bow before the demand of that lady, let your father live with that lady. You and your mother are not willing to live with your father. “

The story is so unbelievable that Mr Dhingra and Dr Vashista suspected it to be hypothetical.

His father has to beg/purchase the mercy of the lady. She is entitled to file rape charges by slight distortion of facts (which his father may not be able to counter).

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 08 November 2016
Agree with the conclusion from expert Sudhir Kumar.

Guest (Expert) 08 November 2016
False Complaints can not be Entertained.what ever happened is only with mutual consent.These are all Common threats of Immoral/Illegal Ladies.A good lawyer would Quash it easily.There are Many Good senior Lawyers in Free legal aid Forums also.

Ram Kumar (Querist) 09 November 2016
All your comments are motivating. Thank you so much.

Dr J C Vashista (Expert) 09 November 2016
You are welcome.

Please close this thread, it is already enough.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 09 November 2016
I may agree with Mr Narasimha that

"These are all Common threats of Immoral/Illegal Ladies.A good lawyer would Quash it easily"

But he doe snot seem to be in a position to afford a good lawyer.

So

His father has to beg/purchase the mercy of the lady. She is entitled to file rape charges by slight distortion of facts (which his father may not be able to counter).

Guest (Expert) 09 November 2016
Mr.Sudhir Kumar While thanking you for Agreeing with Me I request your good self to be Aware that there are Very Excellent,Efficient,Experienced advocates in Free Legal aid Forums which should not be under estimated and they render the Service honorably.More Over while commenting/posting your advise Please Avoid words Like "To Beg" etc.Hope you would Understand.

P. Venu (Expert) 09 November 2016
I am afraid the discussions are tending too much of a distraction.

It is my considered opinion that any suggestion from those of us who are privileged to be listed as Experts should be based on the material facts disclosed by the queriests and the legal elements that could be understood therefrom. The suggestions of the Experts ought be based on the sub-strata of our country being governed by Rule of Law and there exists institutions which can take care and ensure that every citizen has the protection of Rule of Law. It could be that many an ordinary citizen may not be fully informed of the finer aspects of the Law and its Procedures and hence may have much anxieties while faced with a critical situation. Our suggestion should be meaningful only if we can address such concerns and reassure them of the Majesty of Law that an innocent person has always the protection of Rule of Law.

As such, the alleged action/omission of father of the queiriest do not constitute the ingredients of any offence (other than that of adultery, if the lady question is a married) . The query does not suggest any action on the part of anyone to set in motion any steps known to law to implicate the father.

As such, from the facts disclosed and the elements that could be understood therefrom the query does not disclose any real issue of the father being implicated. There is no valid or rational ground for any anxiety.

Extra marital affair of 55 year old man

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