Divorce under cruelty
Guest
(Querist) 16 August 2011
This query is : Resolved
Dear Esteemed Members,
I need your advice to resolve my marital issues. I would also like to thank you in advance for reading & providing the solutions.
I am 31, residing in Delhi married to a 26 year lady from Mumbai since January 2011. Our marriage was an arranged marriage.
My family consists of my father who still works & provides for the family, Mom is a housewife & I am employed as a Manager in a pvt concern. My wife is working in a call center in Mumbai. Her family consists of 1 elder brother & mom, Father had passed away when the kids were young. Mom is slightly unbalanced in mind; she is not able to comprehend things. They have a very strained relationship with most of their relatives since my MIL is the second wife. On the other hand we have an extensive list of relatives who had assisted in the marriage (Just marriage work nothing in helping us in cash except for marriage gifts which is a custom). There were only 30 members from my wife’s family who had attended the marriage (just attended). My wife’s brother had spent 2lacs for marriage expense and we had to chip in 50k. Other than that we had also bought expensive clothes for my wife which cost us a bomb.
Before marriage my wife had asked for 3 months time to move to Delhi as her appraisals were due, I too agreed. There were also other talks before marriage that she would not be able to contribute much to my (our) family as she had plans to construct a house on a plot which would be gifted by her brother (yet to be gifted) which I agreed for, she did not want kids for 2 years because she wanted to concentrate on her career for which I agreed although not whole heartedly. After marriage we tried having physical relationship but she claimed that she was not able to bear the pain, so I did not force her, We even went to our honeymoon but nothing happened there too, I had attempted several times but she kept telling me that 1st she will check with a gyno & then we can have the physical relationship.
Within 5 days of the marriage there was a row between us when she kept claiming that her brother had spent loads on the marriage, I gave her a cheque for 1 lac but she asked me to give it to her brother since he had spent for the marriage, ultimately we reconciled & I ended up tearing the cheque.
She used to visit my place once or twice a month during weekends for which I used to book journey tickets in AC trains/bus. My mom had gifted her expensive gold bangles & kept purchasing her clothes & other things each time. For her birthday in April I had gifted a diamond pendant with a gold chain & she gifted a mobile phone. During the 2nd week of April we had issues again since she had made no effort in relocating, I had tried to get her a job in Delhi but she outright dismissed this effort. I had no other option but to escalate it to her brother, this made her furious & she kept blaming me that I had dragged in a 3rd person in our issues. Ultimately she agreed to shift by 1st week of June. But gain during the 2nd week of May things got out of hand when I saw that there was no progress in the relocation. She came down to my place along with her brother. She kept giving vague answers to whatever was asked & then I had to disclose to everyone that we had not even had physical relationship till date, this made her blow her top & she walked away.
For few days there was no communication, and then her brother called up my father & told him that she wanted a divorce, my father in turn told him that he would come to their place to discuss this & he should have his Aunt & Uncle at his home when we come for discussion.
When my parents went their along with some of my relatives, they had accused me of being impotent & had forced her to get money (Which is not true in fact till date I have not worn any of the jewels gifted by her brother or asked her for her salary). My parents & relatives were insulted & asked to get out of the house by my wife (If I should still call her my wife).
In the meantime I had filled for RCR in last week of June. In such a scenario I would like to know what are the best options for me to quickly get the divorce. Should I wait for 1 year to apply for a mutual divorce or can i file for divorce under cruelty, if so how long will it take.
mahendrakumar
(Expert) 17 August 2011
I feel before proceeding with the ultimate option,i.e divorce,you could have tried a marriage counselling.
from your post,it is seen that she had come to your place leaving her job.
try to have an introspection and see,is there still any scope for improvement in your relations.
M/s. Y-not legal services
(Expert) 17 August 2011
Before thinking about divorce just try to take a counselling.. First try to get mutual understanding.. You stating that she not allow you to physical relationship, but she stating that you are impotent.. Which one is true. Without clear this how your elders can solve your problem?
M/s. Y-not legal services
(Expert) 17 August 2011
And my legal advise is, yes. Without completing one year you can't go to court for divorce.. But you can go for mutual. There you have to wait for six months for waiving period. So just consult with your advocate. Decide your self that which one will be good for you.
Guest
(Expert) 17 August 2011
first of all try to resolve the dispute if it fails than you can go for divorce
ashok kumar singh
(Expert) 17 August 2011
agree with the other expert opinion, plz. follows the. thanks.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 17 August 2011
your lawyer has adviced you properly to file for RCR . divorce on grounds of cruelty will take ages if its contested . as tom rightly adviced you divorce by mutual consent is best option .
has the marriage been consummated ? you have stated that she does not want physical relation ship and that till date you did not have physical relation ship .
in such a case you can move for declaration that marriage is nullity as it has not been consummated till date due to fact that your wife is impotent
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 17 August 2011
WHAT AN APATHY ! a marriage solemnized just 6 month before that too by arrangement is being sought to terminate in divorce while even worst social engineering machine provides not
to start before a year.
The striker is always EGO sought to prevail over logic in every one ,educated or not.
Transition of imbalance of Psyche between women and men due to empowerment of women on one hand and fear of loosing dominance by men is another culprit.Both men and women will have to learn new realities and new needs of life or our marriage institutionalization will fail all to gather and prove worst than westerns one.
Good by 'sacrament' you do not now even have life of a private business contract.
ANY way there seems to be a gynecological problem with her ,just i guess,as you say marriage remained unconsumed even trip of honey moon arranged.That problem is such that she wants to hide.As negotiation of relative has anyway terminated in another egoistic issue,help of women institutions working in this area may be sought for as they will help in resolving issues and arrange required counselling etc.
girish shringi
(Expert) 17 August 2011
I do agree with the experts' opinion.
