HMA sec.9

Annu (Querist) 11 October 2016 This query is : Resolved
I'm a working as asst professor in a Pvt Delhi college and my husband working in a pvt company in Chandigarh as Team Lead cum Legal Advisor.He told me that his work nature demands him to stay at S.Africa for business purposes for a few months, on which he never showed me that in future he intends to settle for 3 years in S.Africa. Its been 9 months till now since our marriage and we hardly lived together even for a month together.Before marriage it was also agreed between us that I will continue to work in Delhi till he assures me equally respectable job at Chandigarh,so that we can stay together at one place. I kept sending him my resume but till date he never made any efforts for getting me a job in Chandigarh.Inspite of staying apart due to the risk of losing my job, I kept visiting my matrimonial house whenever I got leave from my pvt job. During these 9 months ,my husband has always ignored me and has always raised issues on one or the other pretexts (on phone).In the meantime,whenever he visited Delhi for his job purpose, he rarely visited my house in Delhi and instead used to call me to a hotel in which he used to stay on behalf of his company. Although I went there 2 twice ,but later on refused to meet him at hotel, due to which he had the complaint from me that I don't want to meet him.Not only this, he pressurised me to stay with him in S.Africa otherwise he would get divorce.We hardly stayed together for a month.Now again we had an altercation on phone and this time he and his family members have blocked all my and my family members numbers.And if I tried to contact even any of his relatives they are not giving any satisfactory answer.Earlier also he warned me not to step at his place.Now after blocking me, without any intimation ,he filed RCR petition against me in a Chandigarh court concealing the fact to the court that his wife is working.When I contacted one of his aunts about knowing intentions of my Husband and In- Laws whether to allow me to enter my matrimonial house if I reach 2 days earlier to date of hearing in Chandigarh with a purpose to stay with him, on which she told me that their house is locked and maintained silence on the fact that whether they will be available on the date of hearing. I am undergoing a huge mental stress as none of them is ready to clear the intentions expressly as whether he really has any intention to stay together or he filed RCR just as a matter of strategy? On the earlier pretexts his mother kept taunting me that I didn't got any thing from my house, and insisted me to open Joint account with my husband for which I refused later.I want to continue the marriage,if he intend to continue but not at the risk of losing my job in Delhi because their behaviour is very suspicious.Now ,someone please suggest me whether I should go at his place before the next date of hearing? And what should I do in case they don't allow me to enter? Or Is it better to take divorce from him?.. Please help me, I am undergoing a lot of mental torture.

Follow Query

Report Abuse

NANDKUMAR B SAWANT (Expert) 11 October 2016
KINDLY NOTE THAT.
1. HUSBAND HAS FILED FOR RESTITUTION OF CONJUGAL RIGHTS AT CHANDIGARH COURT
2. WIFE IS RESIDENT OF DELHI, EMPLOYED.
3. IN CASE YOU ARE ALREADY EMPLOYED AND DO NOT WISH TO SHIFT TO CHANDIGARH OR SOUTH AFFIRICA, THEN IT IS NOT ADVISIBLE TO LEAVE YOUR HIGHLY PAID JOB .AS YOU ARE ALREADY SETTLED IN LIFE ON THE BASIS OF SAID JOB.
4. BUT AS THE RCR PETITION UNDER SEC. 9 OF HINDU MARRIAGE ACT IS ALREADY FILED AT CHANDIGARH YOU MAY FILE YOUR DETAILED AFFIDAVIT IN REPLY DENYING THE ALLEGATIONS ,CLAIMS AND CHARGES AND FILE A COUNTER CLAIM UNDER SEC.24 OF HINDU MARRIAGE ACT.
5 IF YOU ARE NOT APPEARING IN SAID COURT ON NEXT DATE , COURT MAY PROCEED EXPARTE PLEASE NOTE.
6 YOU MAY TRY TO RESOLVE THE DISPUTE IF POSSIBLE OTHERWISE FILE A DIVORCE PETITION TO PERMANENTLY SETTLE THE ISSUE. GOOD LUCK
N.B.SAWANT.M.COM.LL.B.ADVOCATE HIGH COURT.

adv.bharat @ PUNE (Expert) 11 October 2016
Annu ji its up to your how to proceed since expert have already explain each and every thing in detail.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 11 October 2016
Engage a lawyer at Chandigarh, discuss with him in detail and proceed to save your interest at Chandigarh Court.

You should decide, what you want and proceed accordingly. It seems your husband do not want to adjust and loves his career more / may want to save his ego in reference to your service.

If possible try to take study leave and live with him, provided you are hopeful to save marriage.

If no hope before his ego, consult local lawyer and proceed as per his advice.
If you can not leave your job.

Annu (Querist) 11 October 2016
Thank you Mr.Saraswat and Mr.Bharat for your valuable advice.

Annu (Querist) 11 October 2016
Thanks Mr.Rajendra.

Annu (Querist) 11 October 2016
If I refuse to stay with him on the next day of hearing before the court, and pray for mutual divorce...then will the court still send our matter for mediation? How much time will it take to complete the entire procedure of getting mutual divorce?

Kumar Doab (Expert) 11 October 2016
Both Delhi and Chandigarh are education hub and there are n number of universities, colleges, etc etc............

At both Delhi and Chandigarh you can access placement consultants par excellence.

At both Delhi and Chandigarh you can access counsels specializing in family matters.

It is suggested that you may consult in advance than acting on your own.

Ms.Usha Kapoor (Expert) 12 October 2016
Agree with experts.

M V Gupta (Expert) 12 October 2016
No divorce is possible as ur marriage is only 9 months old. You have to wait for at least one year after marriage to become eligible to file divorce application. But I do not support divorce proceedings. Facts stated by you do not make any sustainable defense against the RCR application filed by ur husband. It is evident that ua re not willing to join ur husband at Chandigarh because of ur job at Delhi. Do u think that it is impossible to get a teaching or other suitable job at Chandigarh? The fact that u are working at Delhi for refusing to join ur husband may not be accepted by any court. In a recent divorce proceedings at Bombay HC on the wife pleading that she cannot go to Pune to live with her husband as she was working at Mumbai, the Honoble Judges remarked that Sita Devi followed her husband Sri Ram to the forest for twelve years and ur husband is not asking u to follow him to any forest but to join him at Pune. There is need to review ur views and follow the marital custom of our Society. After all saving ur marriage is more important.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 12 October 2016
Mutual Consent Divorce can be filed after one year of marriage, not before it.

If you want to save marriage, you can explore the scope to join him at week end, Train just take 3-4 hours from Delhi to Chandigarh while bus is available at every 5-10 minuts taking 5-6 hours.

Rest depend on you.

To save marriage, both sides have to leave their ego.

Path of divorce proceedings in India is not smooth, it eat up your best time, mental peace and is cost consuming.

adv.bharat @ PUNE (Expert) 12 October 2016
U can get the job at chandigar also.

If u want at save your marriage then you need to avoid ego & make adjustment.

Kumar Doab (Expert) 12 October 2016
Your last query, has been discussed:

"If I refuse to stay with him on the next day of hearing before the court, and pray for mutual divorce...then will the court still send our matter for mediation? How much time will it take to complete the entire procedure of getting mutual divorce?"

Apparently you have not consulted a very able counsel, so far.

It shall be appropriate to consult in advance than acting on your own.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 12 October 2016
agree with the expert Kumar Doab, please consult with local lawyer.

Annu (Querist) 12 October 2016
I want to ask Mr.M.V.Gupta that suppose I leave my job for him and starts staying with him.Then again if he ignores me as he did in the past like not talking for 6-7 hrs staying in the same room and if I am unable to get another job and then one fine day , he leaves me blocking all his phone calls as he did now....Then who is going to come to my rescue when I will lose my financial independence as well for such an irresponsible person.?

Annu (Querist) 12 October 2016
And nowadays there are several examples I have been witnessing where the wives have left even their Govt jobs to save their married lives...but in today's date their husbands/ In laws are harassing them, compelling them to stay as per husbands whimps and wishes......And after all this is 21 st century.. Neither I am Sita nor my husband is Ram .

M V Gupta (Expert) 13 October 2016
You seem to be very much influenced by the negative examples. Do not forget that many women who are highly qualified are having happy married life. Success of marriage depends on mutual understanding, compromise and adjustment, and a bit of sacrifice. In ur case u may have to take initiative to rapproch with ur husband and his family.The fact that he had filed RCR application shows hurt feelings which perhaps may be mollified by ur soft approach. In case there is harassment after u join him at Chandigarh, well u have lot of options, which need not be discussed at the present stage.

Kumar Doab (Expert) 13 October 2016
Discuss all options,remedies, merits with your own counsel specializing in such/family matters in person and choose wisely.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 13 October 2016
1. please think that glass is half filled rather to think that it is half empty. Position may be altogether different then assessed by you.

2. If no adjustment results, you have to indulge in legal battle and may be having negligible time to concentrate your job.

3. Try to create your importance by forgoing your ego at present so that he can not think to live without you.

4. You can consult a psychiatrist to suggest proper ways to handle / impress / adjust with such person.

5. You have to forgo your ego and dreams at present to save your marriage.

Rest depend on you.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 13 October 2016
You both have to adjust, presently if he is not adjusting, you may sacrifice more, tomorrow the position may change.

Hope for the best.

Kumar Doab (Expert) 13 October 2016

Your husband has already acted;seemingly after consulting his counsel.

There is no point in delaying, at your end.

Prefer to Discuss all options,remedies, merits with your own counsel specializing in such/family matters in person, than acting on your own.

Try to save the marriage.

Choose your options wisely.

Annu (Querist) 13 October 2016
Thank you all for your suggestions.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 13 October 2016
You are welcome.

Kumar Doab (Expert) 13 October 2016
You are welcome.

Annu (Querist) 23 October 2016
Hello everyone... In pursuance of RCR & to celebrate festivals with my in-laws , I went to my husband's place.But to my utter shock ,my in-laws showed me an affidavit declaring that they have disowned their son ( my husband)& that they have got it published in the local newspaper as well.They didn't allow me to even enter the house till I had to call police, they have even installed CCTV cameras at the entry gate and in the drawing room where they have an entry gate.When I asked them to return my things back, my in laws said that all that has been taken away by my husband and now they also are unaware that where is he.My in laws misbehaved with me, insulted me..... I got this registered with the Chandigarh police and came back to Delhi.Even during this time, I am still blocked by my husband.... I am very depressed now... Experienced advocates are charging too high which is beyond my capacity... Don't know,what to do.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 23 October 2016
Discuss full episode with your lawyer and move accordingly.

Kumar Doab (Expert) 23 October 2016
Impression;They are acting in unison.

You should discuss with your able counsel.

Guest (Expert) 23 October 2016
Ms. Annu,

Your supplementary questions with assumptions denote as if you want solution to some academic query instead of some real problem.

Where is the question of supposition in any legal problem, as you said, "I want to ask Mr.M.V.Gupta that SUPPOSE I leave my job for him and starts staying with him.Then again if he ignores me?" All depends upon the outcome of the RCR or your divorce application when that becomes due.

Further, your descriptions reveal as if you don't want to save your marriage and want divorce. If that be, you may wait for the cooling off period for filing application. Who compels you to reunite with your husband?

Still further, when your dispute is with your husband, where from the entry of in-laws and the question of disowning of their son arises or your claim from them for return of things?

All these elements of your description very clearly suggest most of your story is built on hypothesis, not on reality.

However, if there is any truth in your story, better hire services of some local lawyer, discuss in detail with him showing all case related documents to him.

M V Gupta (Expert) 24 October 2016
Sorry to note the developments. Obtain certified copy of the FIR filed by you with the Chandigarh Police. Issue a registered letter through an advocate addressed to ur husband reporting how ur in laws have behaved when u tried to stay with him for Diwali festival and tell him that u are prepared to forget the past and come over to him. It would be better to engage an advocate and act further in the matter as per his advise as the matter is getting complicated.

Guest (Expert) 24 October 2016
You will have to decide with firm mind, whether you want to save your married life or a private college job. A professor can get job in some college at Chandigarh also. If you really want to save your married life without suppositions, you will have to reside at the place where your husband is located.

If not, you cannot find any solution, except divorce, if you want to stick at the private job at Delhi only.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 24 October 2016
May Proceed as advised by the expert M V Gupta.

Kumar Doab (Expert) 24 October 2016
It has already been pointed out: Impression;They are acting in unison.

Mr. M V Gupta, Mr Rajendra K Goyal is right.....................'the matter is getting complicated.'

You should discuss with your able counsel, share all docs and inputs and understand your options/merits and apply your own judgment on the matter, and act firmly.

NANDKUMAR B SAWANT (Expert) 24 October 2016
WITH REFERENCE TO FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS IN THE MATER KINDLY NOTE THAT.
1. YOU HAD BEEN TO PLACE OF YOUR IN-LAWS AND WERE PREVENTED TO ENTER THE HOUSE BY THEM AND HENCE YOU FILED COMPLAINT TO LOCAL POLICE STATION THERE.ALL YOUR BELONGINGINGS WERE FORCEFULLY RETAINED AND YOU WERE DENIED ACCESS AND EVEN ADDRESS AND LOCATION OF HUSBAND WAS NOT GIVEN TO YOU.
2. YOU MAY GET CERTIFIED COPY OF SAID COMPLAINT AND PRODUCE THE SAME IN THE MATER PENDING FOR RESTITUTION OF CONJUGAL RIGHTS.
3. IT SEEMS THE OTHER SIDE IS FOLLOWING THE INSTRUCTIONS OF THEIR ADVOCATE AND THEY ARE NOT SINCERE TO ACCEPT YOU.
4. YOU MAY FILE A REPLY TO THE R.C.R. APPLICATION AND SUBMIT COPY OF COMPLAINT FILED BY YOU IN SAID MATER AND SUBMIT COUNTERCLAIM AND DEMAND YOUR ALL BELONGINGS AND ORNAMENTS IF ANY.
4.IN CASE YOUR MENTAL TORTURE AND HARASSMENT STILL CONTINUE AND IF YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL THREAT FROM OTHERSIDE YOU MAY FILE AN APPLICATION UNDER PROVISIONS OF PROTECTION OF WOMEN FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT AND PRAY FOR APPROPRIATE RELIEF OF PROTECTION ORDER, RESIDENTIAL ORDER AND MAINTAINANCE ORDER FROM THE COURT AND ALSO CAN CLAIM BACK ALL YOUR BELONGINGS AND ORNAMENTS FORCEFULLY RETAINED BY THE OTHERSIDE.
5. BUT IN CASE YOU FEEL THAT THERE ARE CHANCES FOR ANY AMICABLE SETTLEMENT YOU MAY APPLY TO THE COURT WHERE YOU HAVE FILED A DV CASE FOR MEDIATION AND YOU CAN EASILY AND ECONOMICALY GET ALL DISPUTES SETTLED IN THE COURT HAVING JURISDICTION OVER YOUR AREA PLACE OF RESIDENCE
GOOD LUCK.

Kumar Doab (Expert) 24 October 2016
Subsequent to your last post.

Your query was never academic.
Neither you nor we are discussing academics.

Next time make your own arrangement to record like your visit has been recorded under CCTV.

It seems that you have done right by retaining your employment and source of livelihood.

Discuss with your able counsel, share all docs and inputs and understand your options/merits and apply your own judgment on the matter, and act firmly.

Guest (Expert) 24 October 2016
Ms. Annu,

I don't prefer to give false hope by advising you to go for 498A/DV etc.

Even if you record happenings on rejoining that family, you first have to decide, what exactly you want to prove, want to quit your family life or quit your present job.

undecisively, you cannot gain anything except your ornaments, etc. Rather, you would lose much more on the issue of settlement in life on married life. I can only advise you to communicate your decision, whatever that be, positive or negative in court in HMA 9 case instead of doing spy work yourself to spoil lives of both the families, provided your description is true to some extent.

Kumar Doab (Expert) 24 October 2016

'they have even installed CCTV cameras at the entry gate and in the drawing room where they have an entry gate...............Experienced advocates are charging too high which is beyond my capacity.'

Financial reach and financial constraints are clear.

CCTV cameras are with or without mike to capture sound.

Gather all irrefutable evidences for use, if the need be, at appropriate time, in appropriate forum.

It is an apprehension that there may not much negotiations.

However you alone are best placed to judge.

Discuss with your able counsel, share all docs and inputs and understand your options/merits and apply your own judgment on the matter, and act firmly.

Annu (Querist) 25 October 2016
Mr.P.S.Dhingra..Your doubt on my version itself proves that whatever my husband and my in-laws is something which you may have witnessed rarely.Do you still think that whatever I said is concocted!? Sir, it is him who is going so strategically that after filing RCR petition,he installed CCTV cameras at their entry.

Annu (Querist) 25 October 2016
As you said that whatever I said is based upon suppositions, they have become real now. He has left me in such a situation that if I had decided to sacrifice my job for him, I would have stood nowhere today.

Annu (Querist) 25 October 2016
And Thanks to all who understand my plight at this moment.

Guest (Expert) 25 October 2016
Ms. Annu,

The simple solution is to act through court of law under HMA sec.9, if you really want to reunite. But your intentions are very clear that you don't want to leave your job at Delhi.

About your suppositions, these are very clear in your statements.

You asked, "IF I refuse to stay with him on the next day of hearing before the court, and pray for mutual divorce...then will the court still send our matter for mediation?" The same was pinpointed also by Shri Kumar Doab in his response 13 days ago.

You raised another question 12 days back to ask Shri MV Gupta, "SUPPOSE I leave my job for him and starts staying with him.Then again if he ignores me as he did in the past like not talking for 6-7 hrs staying in the same room and IF I am unable to get another job and then one fine day , he leaves me blocking all his phone calls as he did now....THEN WHO is going to come to my rescue when I will lose my financial independence as well for such an irresponsible person."

So, don't you think these are not your suppositions and also do you think the experts are astrologers to predict, what will happen if such and such thing happens?

In fact, you have made your query a hypothetical story by yourself only. If your story has some truth, these questions should have been asked by you from your own lawyer and could have come with his opinion to get that reviews by experts.

I have very clearly stated in my yesterday's reply, "You will have to decide with firm mind, whether you want to save your married life or a private college job. A professor can get job in some college at Chandigarh also. If you really want to save your married life without suppositions, you will have to reside at the place where your husband is located."

Better remember one thing, fickle-minded persons with undue suppositions cannot gain much.

However, if unable to take note of my suggestions, better rely on your own lawyer. IFs AND BUTs CANNOT WORK in legal tangle if you really intend to save your married life. Mutual trust of both husband and wife is a must in matrimonial life.

Kumar Doab (Expert) 25 October 2016
First of all; discuss in detail with your own able counsel.

Many of the LCI experts are from Delhi and Chandigarh.

If you wish You can conduct search at:

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/lawyers_search/

LCI Expert Mr. Shonee Kapoor handles such matters.

If you wish you may approach him.

HMA sec.9

Similar Resolved Queries :