divorce
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 22 December 2010
This query is : Resolved
We have been married for 7 years and have a son of 6 years old. Due to incompatibility we are unable to live together. We had a lot of quarrel/fight. After marriage we were staying together at a rental house. We had a fight.I went out of the house. she is working. she got job in other city and went there went there. since then she is staying at madras. i got new job and went to other place. since then she is not ready to come to my place. so I used to send mails either to join me or give divorce. she was not ready do to any of the above. i was suffering loneliness, depression, stress etc..so i sent a mail to her if she was not ready to take any decision, i would resign the job and go somewhere. So she filed case @ cyber crime saying that i am torturing thru mails. So police arrested me and i lost my job.police didn't produce me in the court. after compromise , i stayed with he for few months.she didn't treat me well. so we had a fight and i left the house. then i tried for job and got it.
then We had a discussion and ended in big fight. like this few years went. she was not ready to either give divorce or stay together. She told me that if i want , i can go and stay with her. but she wont come and stay with me. we were not in touch for more than a years. then i started talking to her, but she was not ready to talk. after several attempts , we had a discussion.then i started going to her place every/alternate week end for few months. The problem here was ...i was suffering from stress , depression, insomnia etc...even i got admitted to hospital and took a treatment for a month.
She was not ready to understand anything. she simply said i can not come and stay with you and the reason she said was i wouldn't take care of her.big story..she used to treat me as servant. I can not ask her anything.If i ask he anything,then big fight.for small things....she used to fight with me, if i didn't listen to her. she used to insult me..and abused me like mental, useless etc... She used to tell everyone that i am not normal. one day when we had a heated arguments , she pushed me , and fell down , and my my front tooth was broken. i also manhandled her.
For some reason...she is not ready to take any decision. After some time i got transferred to her place.initially she didn't allow me to stay with her.Then We had a discussion , we started staying together, my mother was also staying with us... After few months again fight ....she asked us to vacate the house..We refused ..so she went and filed a 506 a case against me and my mother.
now we are not staying together.my question is how to handle this situation. i want to lead a peaceful life...but she is not ready to take any decision. Simply blaming me for all the problem.She is happy by telling every one that i am bad.
i am struggling . please help me to come out of this problem. my mother become half mad because of our problem.
Police also advising me not to stay with her. Because she might put me in more trouble.
people saying something is wrong with her behavior. Only god knows what is the truth.
Please guide me.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 22 December 2010
The problem is unless both of you settle the dispute mutually then court is the only place where such problem could be solved by legal battle.
So both of you either agree to stay pecefully without much intervention of each other in your respective lives or go for mutual divorce. If both does not work then either you will continue to have to bear this situation or to take recourse of law by which you could pray for divorce whiich may result in several retaliatory legal proceedings by your wife agaginst you and your other relatives.
s.subramanian
(Expert) 22 December 2010
I fully endorse the view of Mr.Barman.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 22 December 2010
The best solution in the given case is to come to the negotiation table and try to create mutual trust at least for the sake of child and families of both sides. There is nothing but loss of money, time, reputation, mental peace and so on in the matrimonial disputes so with the help of respectable persons honoured by both sides, this matter should be got resolved.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 23 December 2010
thanks for all your response. the problem is my wife is happy by living like this. She tells every one who ever goes and talk to her. She is telling that i am bad so she cannot either live with me or ready to divorce me. she is not ready to take any decision. She is telling she needs me for our son. but she is not ready for any compromise. Only i always try to approach and compromise with her. She simply keeps quit. Some times i need to make 100s of call to to make her calm down. even if i call her, after several try she will pick up the phone that too not to discuss the problem.
She will pickup the call only to blame me. i Clearly understand her intention that she either doesn't want to stay with me or ready to give divorce...delaying tactics....simply spoiling everything....
don't know how to proceed.
