Desertion
jay pathak
(Querist) 20 October 2013
This query is : Resolved
I got married on 20 april 2012 in pune. my wife was working in a reputed company over there.i am working in a govt job in ahmedabad. after our marriage we went for honeymoon. after honemymoon she left for pune for seeking transfer. she took a transfer to ahmedabad.she stayed in ahmedabad and started working in the company. her father used to threaten me. she asked her father to come down to ahmedabad to apologise. However when her father came in ahmedabad along with her relatives he started a quarrel and my wife left with him. Before going she filed a statement in local police station regarding quarrel and threats issued by her father and said that she does not want to file a complain against me or my family memebers and she is going as per own wishes to pune. she left for pune on 08 august 2012 on the same day of the quarrel and same day of filing police statement.She was staying in pune and after my insisting telephonically she resigned from her job in december 2012.
After that she delivered a baby boy in february 2013. however she never insisted on coming back and staying with me. In october 2013 she joined the job in the same company in pune without consultation with me. now she is refusing to come back to ahmedabad. she is asking me to come on weekends/or take a new job in pune. i have not seen my kid and i cannot go over there because of the police statement nor she is ready to come back to ahmedabad. it is 15 months now. what should i do?
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 20 October 2013
Only talk of negotiation can settle this issue.
You may file suit for RCR but that may complicate this issue.
You start visiting her places for some time so that you can also insist her to come to your place sometimes to stay together.
Let this situation continue for some time, it would surely tide over the crisis over a period of time.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 20 October 2013
1) the fact that immediatedly after marriage in April 2012 your wife resigned from her job in Pune and took a job in Ahemdabad shows that she was willing to compromise for sake of marriage .
2)she has been very fair as in her staement she made it clear that she is going to Pune on her own accord and she has no quarrels with you or your family .
3) life changes after you have child . wife prefers to be near her parents after birth of child as it is easier for child to be looked after . since you must be staying in a nucelar family there would be no one to look after the child when you both are working .
4)if you want o make your marraige work , visit pune on alternative weekends or find a job in Pune .
5) marriage is all about mutual adjustments . work to save your marriage
Thyagarajan
(Expert) 20 October 2013
Your wife seems to have decided to live in a way to father's wishes.Also you and your wife are separated.
You can go for litigation to get custody of your son to ensure a good future for him.
Thyagarajan
(Expert) 20 October 2013
Your wife seems to have decided to live in a way to father's wishes.Also you and your wife are separated.
You can go for litigation to get custody of your son to ensure a good future for him.
M V Gupta
(Expert) 20 October 2013
Resorting to legal action against ur wife is not advisable. Visit her at Pune as suggested by the experts and in due course u will be able to find a solution. Try to find out her concerns to go over to Ahmadabad and stay there.
M V Gupta
(Expert) 20 October 2013
Resorting to legal action against ur wife is not advisable. Visit her at Pune as suggested by the experts and in due course u will be able to find a solution. Try to find out her concerns to go over to Ahmadabad and stay there.
Thyagarajan
(Expert) 21 October 2013
You are having a desire to be united with your wife and son and live in your place.She suggests only week end visits by you to her place.Also you have a fear whether you can visit her when police is involved.You can discuss the above with your wife since you are in talking terms.
I suggested litigation only in the interest of your son's future if talks do not end up to living together
jay pathak
(Querist) 21 October 2013
Sir
thank you all. I want to resort to legal action because she never intends to come back to ahmedabad and she hates all my family members. I cannot leave my father and my mother in ahmedabad. i am in a government job.
The actual reason for not coming to ahmedabad is that she has to take care of economically her father ,mother her sister and brother (adults). I am ready to give her full salary to them inspite of that fact she refuses to come back to ahmedabad
she can easily get a transfer to ahmedabad.
i want to take a divorce what should be the grounds for it.
Regards
jay pathak
(Querist) 21 October 2013
Sir
thank you all. I want to resort to legal action because she never intends to come back to ahmedabad and she hates all my family members. I cannot leave my father and my mother in ahmedabad. i am in a government job.
The actual reason for not coming to ahmedabad is that she has to take care of economically her father ,mother her sister and brother (adults). I am ready to give her full salary to them inspite of that fact she refuses to come back to ahmedabad
she can easily get a transfer to ahmedabad.
i want to take a divorce what should be the grounds for it.
Regards
ajay sethi
(Expert) 21 October 2013
you want a divorce then do so by mutual consent . other wise it will go on for years
ajay sethi
(Expert) 21 October 2013
advisable for you to contact a local lawyer . you can file for divorce on grounds of desertion , cruelty .
R.K Nanda
(Expert) 21 October 2013
agree with expert.
jay pathak
(Querist) 21 October 2013
SIR
I HAVE A FEAR THAT SHE MIGHT PUT A FALSE CASE WHEN I VISIT PUNE. AS A RESULT I HAVE NOT SEEN MY CHILD FACE SINCE ITS BIRTH. I DO NOT KNOW ITS NAME. SHE HAS NOT VISITED AHMEDABAD SINCE THE TIME SHE HAS LEFT. SHE DOES NOT PLAN TO DO SO IN THE NEAR FUTURE
HOW TO COLLECT EVIDENCE OF CRUELY. I AM DEVOID OF SEEING MY ONLY CHILD.
IF SHE COMES FOR A DAY/MONTH TO AHMEDABABD JUST TO BREAK THE 2YEARS OF DESERTION TIME
PERIOD WILL IT BE VALID
ajay sethi
(Expert) 21 October 2013
as on date she is your wife . contact her via email . ask about your son . inform her that you plan to visit her and child next week . watch her reaction . if she welcomes your visit there is hope for reconciliation .
as far as divorce grounds are concerned if wife deserts her husband without sufficient cause it amounts to cruelty and is ground for divorce . contact a local lawyer . you can afford legal fees
jay pathak
(Querist) 21 October 2013
In the police complain she has mentioned that whatever action she wants to take she will take in pune.If i go there and she takes any police action i will be in trouble. she is not ready to share the child's photograph even. she is just calling me there. I have a doubt regarding her motives.
Thyagarajan
(Expert) 21 October 2013
You are telling facts part by part. It is better you sit before a local lawyer and tell the full story and also what you want to achieve by resorting to litigation. He will lead you to proper course of action.
jay pathak
(Querist) 21 October 2013
sir
i want to divorce her. kindly advise how to do it. she will not be ready for mutual consent divorce.
Vijyant Nigam (09807349001)
(Expert) 21 October 2013
she will not be ready? or you r not ready to live with her, even at ahmedabad???
if you really want her at ahmedabad so you shud file case for restitution of conjugal rights...
but you r insisting on divorce which seems to be suspected on your side...
tell the complete truth to get better remedy from a lawyer...
you have rights to meet your child...
you do not believe even on lawyers if they say to go to pune, you insist on your belief that ur wife will complain to police...
my dear, better to discuss with some lawyer personally and openly, what you actually want...
all d best.
jay pathak
(Querist) 22 October 2013
My lawyer has told me not to go pune as she may implicate me in false DV CASE or 498 case.
M V Gupta
(Expert) 22 October 2013
On reading ur further postings I get a hunch that u had done some thing grievous wrong to ur wife. Otherwise why all this reservations in ur mind? Better be guided by ur Advocate.
Vijyant Nigam (09807349001)
(Expert) 22 October 2013
didn't your lawyer advised you to file case for restitution of your marriage at your own place and to bound your wife through judicial order to live with you???
immediate need for you to file for restitution... which will also be helpful in future if your wife would file 498 or DV...
don't get more confused,, here you found so many expert advices from extremely devoted/committed lawyers and that too FREE of cost... go with them...
All the best
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 23 October 2013
Have the mediation through relatives, effective person of society, common friends to save the marriage. Continuously send mails. If she wanted, she may have started cases now also. If some thing very serious the matter is separate but if only ego behind it, no harm in throwing away the ego in marriage relations. You may personally request her other family members also.
jay pathak
(Querist) 24 October 2013
sir
1. she wants to give all her salary to her father.
I am ready for that
2. she wants to do no household work.
i am ready for that.
3. she wants me to stay away from my parents in the same city i.e ahmedabad
I am ready for that.
i have conceded to all her conditions but yet she is not ready to come back to ahmedabad.
Kindly advise
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 24 October 2013
The engage her in talk and settle the issue amicably.
Divorce is no solution when a child is there.
Have patience.
jay pathak
(Querist) 24 October 2013
sir
she does not intend to leave pune at any cost . she and her family thinks she will lose the freedom and she will not be able to give the money to them. I have given all ther verbal assurances to her and she also knows that i have not touched her salary when she was in ahmedabad but still she doesn' want to believe me.she wants me to commute between ahmedabad and pune for my entire life.
she is admanant on this and not ready to budge.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 24 October 2013
GO & VISIT YOUR SON, AND DON'T UTTER A SINGLE WORD THERE.
JUST LISTEN & COME BACK NEXT DAY.
REPEAT EVERY FORTNIGHT.
KEEP COOL FOR 6 MONTHS.
U WILL GET WHAT U WANT BY THEN
jay pathak
(Querist) 25 October 2013
sir
no i am away from my wife for 15 months
if i go there for 6 months and if she is not ready to come back to ahmedabad can i still file a divorce case based on desertion after 24 months. the reason is that she is not ready to leave pune at any cost be it taking a divorc
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 25 October 2013
Are you an advocate?
You have posted another query on the other day.
jay pathak
(Querist) 25 October 2013
I am asking the same query and i am not an advocate. my wife does not intend to come back to ahmedabad in any case what shall i do?
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 25 October 2013
Reply is already given , refer to above.
Or file RCR.
