Regarding divorce......
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 21 December 2011
This query is : Resolved
One my friend 3 months back got married with a Girl, whom he was just friend for few years. Though they were just in talking terms it was not full fledge love. We were looking a suitable match for him since last 1.6 years in he used to visit his native place and was whole heartedly willingly was seeing the matches which their parents used to refer him. Suddenly he told us one day that he got married in Court in Bandra. We tried to call him and also explained him about the match he has chosen and that he will not be able to adjust to her because of his nature & behaviour and other social factors. The process of marriage was carried our as follow.
The girl was converted to Hindu Religion through a priest (Affidavit available with us of the priest).
Girl Changes her name to Hindu Name (Affidavit available with us).
Declaration of Marraige (Affidavit available with us). Marriage Certificate not received yet my friend says it is under process.
I came to Mumbai & with his family along with me explained to him as well as girl about their implication on their family as well on them. My friend was to some extent convinced that they have made mistake hence he was ready to back out of marriage, even Girl was ready partially to back out (But her friends and colleagues influenced her decision not to back out) and her friends threatened my friend with bad consequences (i. e Complaint with police of Cheating and Girl threatening with Suicide& legal action) Hence my friend there on left home for her. It has to be noted the explanation that My friend gave for taking such drastic (getting married) step was that he was feeling lonely and was frustrated, and was also visiting a Psycatrist for this. His mental condition was also not Stable, and was under medication as he was alone and was under treatment for depression. Hence his family members thought it wise not to pressurise him more at that point of time, as he was under depression. Hence they left him in Mumbai to be with her Spouse. The Son never used to call his parents after Marraige which was strange, and parents conditions was totally Worse as they have to face this society with such stigma. But when ever few times they used to call their son he was under depression and used to cry on phone.
Suddenly when his parents visited to Mumbai after 3 months, the son (my friend) inspite of knowing that his parents are in Mumbai not even felt like meeting them, which his parents felt very strange. Hence his mother used to call him, suddenly one day he came to us and we felt he was still under pressure and depression was reflected on his face. We just requested him to visit his place(residence) & home which after many request he agreed to allow us to show where he resides. After visiting his place we felt his behaviour very strange that he was feared of Girl and his behaviour and used to tell us not to discuss any matter related to visiting of him to us and many other family matters, as she was very insecure of our presence.
Few days back he called us an told us that he is not happy with her and want to get separated from her anyhow and to advise him how to proceed. His parents called him to come to them, but he said he can’t come as she will doubt his absence and will threaten him with suicide & running away from home. When we asked him the matter in details, he told us that though she is Good Girl and Takes cares of him, but is always threatening him if he leaves her, or calls his parents, not allows him to send money to his parents or any help or any mutual discussion, or any meeting. He says he cannot carry on this type of life forever insecure & fear. He always has arguments with her; he never has peaceful or sound sleep. He fears to go home. He is also visiting Psychologist & Counsellor, where in the counsellor has also advised him to move away from this relation and get separated for his betterment even i also visited the Psychologist with him and he also told me about his situation and i explained him about his behaviour and past and changes there in. My friend has told me that if the situation carries on the same he may give up his life.... I am just concerned about him.. and about his parents..... The girl is Stub born in nature & Clever but is weak in terms of family back ground. She emotionally blackmails my friend. They are still staying together as he is feared that any hint to her will make her anger or worsening the situation.
I have following queries regarding issue i had discussed above with you. Plz advise thoroughly wat can be done, and legal remedy available with us... he wants divorce anyhow.... as he is continuously living under fear and stress, mental pressure...( He fears to such an extent, that he is unable to come and meet his parents, and says that girls threatens him with suicide). She is very hyper... an controls him thoroughly... he cannot even call his parents when he is at home....
1. Can divorce be granted within 1 year of Marriage?? I have learnt Divorce can be filed after 1 year of marriage.( But i have learnt it can be granted in other cases to within 1 year by High Court)
2. Following are reasons for seeking Divorce.
a. Continuously threatening him with Suicide & running away from Home and responsibility will stand on my brother for her act of disappearance or any Suicide.
b. Constantly suspicious about my brother’s act & behaviour i. e he is communicating with his family and she felts insecure, checking his mobile phones.. Telling him not give money or salary to his family etc...
c. He is taking Psychologist & Counsellors help for resolving this situation and to stabilise his mental situation. ( Mentally he is down with low confidence) Even Psychologist had advise him to go for separation if he is not happy with her..
d. He has been feeling uncomfortable with her behaviour and her threats... unable to have peaceful sleep since last 3 months inspite of us not contacting him or any interference from our end.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 21 December 2011
1. Generally no unless great urgency is shown to the court. However it takes years together for contested divorce to get disposed of.
The reasons if established in the court is sufficient for divorce.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 21 December 2011
By reading the whole story patiently, I have come to the conclusion that none other than you and family members of your friend are fully responsible for the present condition of your friend.
As your friends had married with a girl of his choice which originally belonged to some other religion and she had changed her religion and has become Hindu before marriage but you all could not digest this situation and instead of congratulating your friend and standing with him and boosting his moral, injected feelings of great fear in him as if the parents and family friends of that girl shall come and kill your friend and his wife. You all wasted your energy in making your friend felt as if he has done a wrong in life.
You all contributed full in spoiling the life of your friend and still you all have not left hope to completely make his commit suicide.
Can not you all leave husband and wife to take a sigh of relief for some months without your intevention?
If you all are well wisher of your friend, stand with his decision and boost his moral and call him to interest in his happy married life. Both of them should be sent for honeymoon with blessings of parents of your friend.
Bhu ke seer par haqth rakho, dutkaro nhi varna ladke se hath dho baithoge.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 21 December 2011
has your friend seena psychitarits ? besides depression has he been diagnosed as suffering from metal illness ?
your friend will have to stay separate for period of 1 year before making an application for divorce . if thee wife is not maenable to diovrce your friend it will be a contested matter and may take some years to be decided .
try for reconcilation . both should visit a marriage counsellor
Deepak Nair
(Expert) 21 December 2011
By readeing your entire story, it can be made out that mutual divorce is impossible in this case.
In case of filing a divorce petition, you will have to prove lot many things which shall be valid grounds for getting divorce.
Do you think that there are enough grounds for your friend to get a divorce?
Instead, it is the girl who is suffering extreme mental cruelty resulting in frustration.
The girl have left everything in her life for her husband including her name, to suffer all these rubbish.
However, your queries cna be answered as under:
1) For mutual divorce, 1 year seperation is compulsary and divorce will be granted only after 6 months from the date of admission of the petition
2) The reasons for seeking divirce:- I would like to inform you that mere allegations are not enough to get a divorce. In the present case, the case of the wife is stronger than that of your friend.
I woulod suggest to take some step which shall be good to the husband and wife. since, those two are the only persons who will suffer. All others including you will be mere spectators.
Shonee Kapoor
(Expert) 24 December 2011
Try marital counselling first,
Regards,
Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 26 December 2011
I just want things to work out good for both, weather its together or seperate. God has given one life i want them to live.
