Need suggestions for saving my marriage

Querist : Anonymous (Querist) 03 January 2011 This query is : Resolved
Hi,

I need suggestions from you guys on a family dispute matter. I am describing the present situation and please advise me what should be my next steps and how I can save my married life.

I am a Hindu Brahmin boy married to a hindu brahmin girl 5 yrs back. It was an arranged marriage and both our families gave us enough opportunity to know each other before the marriage. I am a software professional and my wife too is a software professional. I am presently posted at Kolkata and she @ Hyderabad. After our marriage we stayed together at Delhi for nearly 1.5 years then she relocated to Bhubaneswar as that was our home state and I relocated Kolkata as was not able to find a suitable job. During her stay at Bhubaneswar I was joining her on every weekend till Mar-10. After that she got transferred to Hyderabad and I went to Singapore on some official assignment. I am now back in India and also my company is willing to transfer me hyd but when I discussed with her she is not willing to continue our relationship under the ground saying she is not satisfied as I always barred her from talking with some of his unscrupulous friends. She is now claiming I doubted her character. The friend I am referring is a guy with whom she had relationship during her college days. The guy has brainwashed her in such a way that she is not willing to listen anything. At present none of the 2 families or me is in favor of separation. She is insisting on me signing the divorce paper for mutual consent but I am not in favor of separation. She is planning to file the papers in the Hyderabad court but it would be difficult for us to go and attend the case including for her family members. Please suggest me for the following queries related to this matter.

1. How I can save my family life as she is not willing to listen to any one including her family members.
2. What step I can take to prevent that guy from being in touch with my wife legally.
3.What are the possible grounds she can file for a divorce individually as mutual situation will not arise.
4.If she files the case in Hyderabad how I can transfer the cases to the Family court of our districts in Orissa. We share the same district family court as we belong to the same dist as native and also married at the same location.

Any help or advice in this regard id highly appreciated. I want to save my family life and your suggestions in this regard will help me achieving my goal.

Thanks

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adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (Expert) 03 January 2011
In my opinion matter is beyond itz reach, better to go for divorce. Eventhough if she is agreed to live with you it wont be for long days. When she is not ready what is the necessity of her. So better to go for divorce and get marry another girl who will be obedient to you.
The jurisdiction to file the divorce petition is where the marriage took place or both husband and wife resided last together.

Querist : Anonymous (Querist) 03 January 2011
Thanks rajeev. But divorce is the last resort. I am not able to make up mind for that. I want to resolve the issue and continue the life. Can filling RCR will help in this regard. I ave support from evry one in her family too. Can we legally take any action against the guy who has created all the disturbances.

AA RAMAKRISHNAN (Expert) 09 January 2011
Dear member:
In the software emplyment circle matters of this nature are many. Some end up in divorce and some will see good days together. Here money and indipendency play very important role.

You can file a suit for restraining the man visiting your wife and hatching conspiracy against you. You can file a petition asking your legally wedded wife to join with you to perform her marital obligations. Divorce is not a solution.

Since there is no ill treatment from your side and you are ready to stay with her and maintain her and able to perform the marital obligations she can not get a divorce even if she chooses to file the case any where in the country.

Seek the help of an advocate locally where you reside.

I think you should stick up to your stand for not going for a divorce and compel your legally wedded wife to "behave"

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