Personal loan
Guest
(Querist) 23 January 2015
This query is : Resolved
My husband took a personal loan before marriage and is spending almost half of his salary on the EMI. I keep asking him the reason for the loan but till date he has never disclosed the reason. I told him to ask help from his parents to settle the loan as they are quite well off and we are struggling because of the new addition to our family. But he always does away with the reason and is too scared to tell them about the loan. As a wife I feel I have the right to know the reason for the loan, he fights whenever I ask him the reason, I feel there is something fishy.
My question is, is there any way I can find out the reason from the bank for the loan. I m doubtful because the loan is not in my name.
Please suggest a way as I feel that my marriage will be at stake if my husband has betrayed me.
Parthasarathi Loganathan
(Expert) 23 January 2015
Availing a loan amounts to betrayal? Your briefing on the facts has no legal relevance. Please check up with his bankers and ask for statement of account with the knowledge of your husband to get your doubts clarified.
Guest
(Expert) 23 January 2015
Mrs. Sridevi Pillai,
In personal loan cases, no reason is required or asked by the bankers. That is approved simply on seeing the paying capacity of the borrower. So, even the banker would not be of any help to you to find out the reason for personal loan.
Moreover, if your husband got personal loan before marriage, that did not need any mutual consent of the would be wife. If you think you husband has betrayed you that is your wrong notion, as the event did not happen after marriage where your knowledge was desirable. You can expect mutual trust between you and your husband after marriage only.
In the present case, of course, you have the privilege, freedom or concession to know the background with love and affection, but not the right to put pressure on him to know the reason, as against your thinking, "I feel I have the right to know the reason for the loan."
Just for a while, suppose you are able to know the reason for personal loan, what benefit you would get or do from that information, except compelling him hard to get help from his parents to settle the loan, as you are already inisting him?
So, don't try to create bitterness in your married life. Better cooperate him with full trust and affection for him to help him fulfilling his liability, rather than creating problems for him. He must have taken loan for some compelling need of the household, may be his own need or of his parents, who brought him up with love and affection.
If you consistently compel him to tell him the reason and ask his parents to clear the loan, your marriage will not be automatically at stake, but would be by your own doing by not cooperating him wisely.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 23 January 2015
Try to trust your husband, if he do not want to disclose do not compel him to do so and hence invite bitterness in your married life.
If you really want to help, may share a bit from your stridhan or join some job for some time.
Guest
(Querist) 23 January 2015
Thank you all for your reply. I understand that trust is the most important factor in a relationship and I really value it. But there have been many occasions when my trust has been broken. Hence, I am a little hesitant this time to trust because this time anything goes wrong, I would not be able to bear it. Anyway, I would like to give my marriage one more chance and I would like to trust my husband one more time only for my new born baby. Thank you.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 23 January 2015
good decision taken by you to save your marriage for sake of your new born baby .
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 23 January 2015
Certainly good counselling by experts and certainly a good decision.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 23 January 2015
good counselling by experts
DO NOT ADD BITTERNESS IN RELATION.
