My rich father told me to get out of his house
Gopal
(Querist) 14 April 2012
This query is : Resolved
Dear sir,
My rich Father is retired bank manager, he owns 10 houses and get rents of about 50,000/- every month. I am 30 yr male recently divorced as my parents demanded my ex-wife's salary too. As i used to have job, my father used to take rent. Now out of seperation pain of wife, i lost my job and have no income. As i am not paying rent and current bills, my selfish father yelled me badly told to get of his house. He & my mother both are money minded and loves my younger brother as he has good job. They have 10 houses, will i have right to ask 1 small house to live my living with some self employment. I dont have guts for suicide atleast. Please advice.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Ur problem is ""I dont have guts for suicide atleast. Please advice""
So develop that guts as early as possible.
If you can't do that also:: WHAT IS THE AIM AND OBJECTIVE OF YOUR LIFE?? WHAT U CAN DO MORE THAN THAT??? Mr. Young 30 yrs Officer???
Bap nahi Maa nahi, Bal nahi Baccha nahi, Jai "Gopal " to hai na?? Sanyas le lo??? wo guts hai kya??
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Mr Gopal are you an advocate?
Please reply.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Barmanji, he said Mr. Young 30 yrs Officer???
So he is not Advocate, and raised two Queries today itself, joining LCI before few minutes.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 14 April 2012
He must be an advocate as both the queries are of separate nature and I on principle avoid replying professional queries.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 14 April 2012
HIS PROFILE SHOWS OFFICER, AND HIS QUERY
reads as :"As i used to have job, my father used to take rent. Now out of seperation pain of wife, i lost my job and have no income."
So he cannot be Advocate :: and as such , u think we are replying him??
Guest
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Dear Gopal,
Fathers cannot be selfish. Why eyeing on the property of your father? There must be some valid reason for his yelling when you or your wife may not be taking care of the old couple, your parents. There was no reason for denying accommodation to you had you tried to take proper care of them.
So, better try to review your own behaviour towards your father before terming him selfish. So far as their property is concerned you don't have any right at presently over his property.
Gopal
(Querist) 14 April 2012
Sir's, I am not an advocate. I am from IT field served as an Assistant manager in IBM for 6 years, did made some savings and volunteering resigned due to mental torture of my family. Destiny plays. Mr.shroff, you are right and i realize i failed.
My friends used to praise me, arey iske baap to crorepati, life jamgaya. In books its written parents are god, but now a days old fellows who are about to die also became selfish on there own sibblings. Any ways..leave it and close my query forum as you will make fun of me.
Barman sir, hope u got what is my question? am i eligible for my dad's own earned property. Wish there is a law in india like divorce to parents too, with maintainence and property rights like divorced woman demand.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 14 April 2012
you are not woman nor wife.
Laws are not with you, nor you have right to claim any property of your father.
But your second thread is your lifeline!! grandmother's property.
Before your wife claim Shared household residence, injunction under Domestic Violence Act, do something.
Gopal
(Querist) 14 April 2012
Dear dhingra, you appear to be a good father to your sibblings, thats why you have same impression on all fathers. There are many cases on father haressment to daughters, sons, wife. But my case might be a rare one. I know i am not a good son may be, but i have never leaved behind my parents any time, in one way i lived a life of paid guest.
Thanks for the answer, i got that i have no rights on my father property.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Gopalji, Look at , go deep inside, to find out what is wrong?? Why you failed in both relationship?? parents as well as wife? you have any kid??
All fathers are good. They love their blood, more than themselves. But to teach lession, they get hard at son, when son start dancing at the tune of his wife, and neglect his parents.
It is possible ur wife married for ur father's money , did not look after them as selfish and/ or greedy, and u supported her, so lost sympathy, love and affection of your parents.
You were sandwiched in between your wife and your parent's conflicting interest, and lived under mental tension.
Self analyses, if insufficient, go to psychiatric, explain everything, take treatment, beg your parents to support you for six month's treatment, & rectify your mistakes, or root causes.
Accept something went wrong.
What your brothers & sisters have to say??
All these are result of disturbed matrimonial life. It spoils the career, gives unhappiness, feel like suicide.
Dr. treated it.
Meditation improves peace of mind, and bring wisdom to think. Bow down to all. Be busy with work, read Gita daily an hour, be religious, eat self cooked food only, Help at least one person daily, even for 10 minutes, free of cost, bring smile to an unknown, even at your cost, let others fool you., if they are happy, be happy with them .
You need not suicide thereafter.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 14 April 2012
legally you cannot claim right in your father 10 houses as it is his self acquired property . he may bequeath property to any of his childrn as he so desires
you are well qualified having worked in IT field and with IBM for 6 years .
you have received some temporary setback in life .
do not be dependent on your parents .
do vipasana cousrse for your peace of mind .
Gopal
(Querist) 14 April 2012
Thanks all for your support.
Shroff ji, i dont have a kid. Special thanks to you. Your analysis shows your experience and skill.
Sure i will implement and see.
Ajay ji, i just tried googling vipasana things in youtube.sounds interesting.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Join Osho in Meditation center, will look at your life in trans pert, Your remote of happiness will be in ur hand, not in hand of ur wife, father or bunglow. Be SWAMY Master, of your own.
SAINATH DEVALLA
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Dear Gopal,
After going through your posting and your answers to the experts,who were genuine in their replies,I feel it is not bad father,but a bad son.You say you are a 30yrs male recently divorced,IT intellect,serving IBM or 6 years,thrown out of the house by a bad rich father.No father or mother will ever throw out their grown up son from their house on their own.After clearly going through every minute detail mentioned above,I have come to a conclusion that you are the villian of the house.Even now you have put the entire blame on your parents,but you have not come out with the actual facts.I feel even your wife must have been vexed with your behaviour and opted for divorce.From now onwards try to be a good son than terming your parents as bad.Change your life style and you can have a life of roses,otherwise you have to encounter only thorns in your path.
Guest
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Dear Gopal,
You have stted that you lived in your father's house as a paying guest. But, since what point of your life? You are an IT professional and served as an Assistant manager with a world's most reputed company, the IBM. The question arises, whether you got your education at your own cost to make your career worth living your life liesurely. Evidently, it was your father, who made strong the foundation of your career. Had he been selfish, he would definitely have left you in lurch and would not have funded your education. I don't know why you left such a good job? Definitely, you would have been eyeing on some easy life at the cost of your father, which he would not have liked.
It is not a question of making fun of you, but to caution you to review your own attitude towards your parents. Parents are never heartless, but I found, in most cases, only the children try to leave them in lurch at the fag end of their lives when they actually feel the need of special care of their own nears and dears, similarly as they would have afforded tender care to their children in their adolescence and childhood.
SAINATH DEVALLA
(Expert) 14 April 2012
I presume these elderly advices will change his mental approach.
Gopal
(Querist) 15 April 2012
Dear sainath ji and dhingra ji, I should speak out the facts before assuming completely a son as a villian.Our's was a happy family and I respected my parents. Trouble started after arranged marriage. My parents even took the dowry money. My wife asked me to buy a car with that, when i asked my parents same, they told they did lot of investment on me since childhood so belongs to them bolke etc. Then they used to take house rent from my salary and provoked me to take my wife's salary. I felt my parents become selfish, arguements came between me & wife, she filed 498a.Myself and my parents together went inside jail.My dad some how used influence of my uncle whos a magistrate and came out completely. After this incident my dad blamed me and felt very insulted in society. I replied my parents it all happened for their own eye on the girls dowry and money when they are already rich, in return spolied my life too. From that time they are hating me. Now i dont have wife or Parents.
My Current mind state: Most parents are selfish just as a farmer tames a cow for benefit. They give birth to child for long time investment and oldage. Sell the child and enjoy dowry. Even at time of my college, when i asked a bike or pocketmoney. He used to say, that my grandfather didnt give me even a cycle etc. Why do all fathers think there sons should climb career staircase from step 1 like them. When they have climbed 10 steps, they can give a hand from 9th step. And even at time of property dividing, most sibblings get money after their parents die. i.e. when we are about 55yrs etc and the cycle goes on. Here no sibbling enjoy the treasure when needed.Some even wish there parents die soon etc and minds get corrupted. If they are not too selfish i.e. giving some part of property when both alive, love is naturally grown and one can die happily.
I am Sorry, if i am wrong, but that is the fact how my mind changed. Wish i didnt marry at all. My soul might not have asked me these many questions. Now any one please analysis and suggest me if you have any solution to sort this now.
Guest
(Expert) 15 April 2012
Dear Gopal,
Both you and your parents seem to be the victims of circumstances out of which some may be your wife's creation, some by you, and some by your parents, themselves. The patch up between you and your father can only be possible if some commonly acceptable person mediates after going through the backgrounds and compelling circumstances behind your differences. The same cannot be possible through these columns. So, better take the help from some local professional/ expert.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 15 April 2012
Gopal! Logially I stand with you not fully agreeting with you but Principally I am with you. Some parents have not realized the change in time. Rude and rough behaviour, selfish attitude, undermining the talent of the children, accusing and abusing their own children in front of known persons and thus harassing and humiliating etc. are some of the features which are commonly seen in Indian parents.
The property which the parents assumed through legal or illegal means during their whole life time cannot be collected by their children at the very early stage of the career.
The children are leaving their houses due to such reasons. There seems a lot of generation gap.
This is the duty of the parents to give due respect to the ideas of the children. After all married life is to be run by children so why parents should insist for dowry and later on to handover to them the salary of their daughter in law? Why parents should remind their own children about the cost of his growing up.
Respect is commanded and not demanded.
Gopal you should also not give this matter an extra-ordinary weightage. Prove yourself as a successful person by your labour and start accusing your parents and circumstances. If you fight with the circumstances with zeal and honesty, YOU shall find SARA SANSAR INCLUDING AAPKE PARENTS AAPKO NAMAN KAR RHE HAIN.
SAINATH DEVALLA
(Expert) 17 April 2012
Dear Experts,
To conclude with,I feel there is no scope for legal remedy.Both the parents and the son should be given councelling for sorting out their differences.May be let us assume that Gopal is right in his expression,then we have to focus our attention on the parents.May be they are money minded,they may not have liked their son's attitude or behaviour.That's the reason why Gopal's wife could not tolerate them.Money is not the ultimate,love and affection are a part of life,without that we are as good as animals.Hence I don't mind if Gopal shows his query and the answers by the experts to his parents.
