(Querist) 19 November 2009
This query is : Resolved
My name amit oza, i got married to heena dave on 19april2008 and it was an arrange marriage.before marriage we had told girls parents that she should complete graduation and also she has to take up job.during engagement girls parents told she was B.Com but when I asked her she told she had not completed her b.com.
After marriage every thing was fine but when I told to take up job she started quallering with me.she started abusing me that I am forcing to take up job.during this time her nature was dominating on every thing.she used to tell my mother some thing else and something else to me.
During the same period I had suffered a loss in stock market and when she came to know she used to say that i am a like a begger and empty.
In May 2009 she went to her mother place and stayed there .she used to call me daily and absue me ,my parents,my brother and her wife.she always used to say that she will teach me and my family a lesson.once she called my mother and absued her that she will die and also demaded right in property.
On 25oct she made nc in police that my parents are beating her,and also demanding dowry of 50lac.
Now she is staying with me but I want divorce.
The case was transfrred to ma hila takrar..
I am not having any physical relation with her,and she is threating me that she will complain to mahila takrar . can i express my view to mahila takrar that i dont want to saty with her . i am not intrested in making any physical relation with her, but she is forcing me and harassing me for that.
the mahila takrar officer , say she has every power to put me into trouble as she know every one in police station. can the officer act bias . if i go for mutal divorce what i have topay her as expenses.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 19 November 2009
In matrimonial matters, patience and tolerance is must. As the law is generally in favour of female, so I suggest to make her convinced and digest/compromise with you. Mutual divorce is also a solution but it requires her will. The permanent aliemony is decided by the courts keeping in view various facts like income of both, age, liabilities etc.
(Expert) 19 November 2009
In the present circumstances the best possible way to get rid of your wife and the accompanying trouble is to file a case for mutual divorce provided your wife gives consent. Since the mutual divorce petition is nothing but a agreement between two consenting adults then the question of payment or its amount arises only when you agree for it or for the desired amount.
Marriage and Divorce are two delicate issues which need to be sorted out very carefully. I would advice that you first try to speak to your wife when your'll are alone as to your present financial scenario and inform her about her behaviour. Give her some time to change. If she continues the same then in that event, it would be better that you appoint an advocate and send her a notice about her behaviour in detail.
Try to fix a joint meeting between your family members and her family members and tell them the truth. If still things don't materialise then seek legal recourse. In the meantime I would advice you maintain a dairy which is not known to her or any of your family members, wherein you write down all the details such as the time and date and what incident has taken place.
Take a legal opinion from any advocate and take appropriate steps. Don't get scared of the threats of the Mahila Takrar, as she has to prove that some sort of violance has been caused.
(Expert) 20 November 2009
I agree with all the above opinions.
Amit, there is always an element of regular wear and tear in any relationship. If your wife wants to have conjugal relationship with you, this means she does not want to let go of you.
I understand that Heena or her family made a few wrong and factually incorrect statements about her education. You need to look at bigger picture. End of the day, Heena is your wife. Do you have any other complaints about her character, her attitude, her behaviour? Is she unfaithful to you? Is she treating you and your parents with respect? What are you contributing to this situation?
It is very easy to go for a divorce. But very difficult to communicate, with an open mind, and look at the big picture, and settle your differences. As a stock broker, will you terminate your relationship with a client just because you have some minor differences with your client? You also will work and do your best to save that relationship. Try to do the same here.
Small differences should not hurt your life. You should learn to forgive and forget. I like what my learned friend Kashmira said above.
Inspite of all this, if your heart says that you cannot live with Heena and you are adamant about a divorce, then, from what you say, Heena will not accept a divorce by mutual consent. You can file for divorce on applicable grounds, depending on which Act is applicable to you.