Is there any way to stop the management from bullying thru unrecorded/unminuted meetings?
Biplab Swain
(Querist) 19 October 2012
This query is : Resolved
This refers to the service matter of my cousin, who joined an NGO about a year ago.
The problem is that she is beng summoned time and again to unrecorded and unminuted meetings and is being threatened of dire consquences.
She has been asking them to put the issues in writing, so that she can defend herself. which is not happening at all. Today she was once again called, wherein even her request to minute the meeting has been refused, while bullying has continued.
What should she do? She is in Delhi. So open to any personal meeting there.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 20 October 2012
If she is so bothered then ask her to leave the Organisation.
It is a NGO which is available every nook and corner of the society and your cousin can join any other NGO whose functioning may not be annoying to your cousin.
Guest
(Expert) 20 October 2012
For what offence she is threatened with dire consequences?
Biplab Swain
(Querist) 20 October 2012
Well, not all NGOs work in the sector or line she works. As for charges are concerned, all she could make out of the meetins and verbal accusation was that of Inter-personal skills.
I must confess that this cant be substantiated for the fact that it is she one who has brought a lot of National and International Experts, MPs and even ministers to the organisation.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 21 October 2012
leave the NGO . no sense in continuing working for an orgamnisation that dosent respect your contribution
Biplab Swain
(Querist) 21 October 2012
Dear sirs, She has been trying to leave the NGO, however, it will take her atleast 2 months to find a new one, as selection processes in any NGO/Confederation, takes atleast 2-3 months. And we need to find a way to stop this bully till then at the least.
Something to secure peace till she leaves.
Guest
(Expert) 21 October 2012
For mental peace of your cousin and her family members, there is no alternative, except to resign and wait for selection in any other NGO.
Biplab Swain
(Querist) 21 October 2012
I am sorry but I dont find the same palletable. Any ways thanks for your advise and time. Regards
Guest
(Expert) 21 October 2012
Mr. Biplab,
Whether it is pallatable or unpleasant for you, but the fact cannot be denied that the law does not recognise pleasure to accept the things by any individual, but need some solid proof in support of complainant's application/ statement, which you or your cousin does not have.
The other hard fact is that no expert can accompany your cousin to go to the meetings to hear accusations.
You are stating that every threat is on verbal accusation basis, which is concerned with Inter-personal skills of your cousin. You can also realise that none of the experts can enhance the inter-personal skills of your cousin or to prove that she has sufficient to cope with her duties in order to save her from threats of the management.
If none of the above advices have pleased you, your cousin can hire a lawyer and file a case against the management to prove that she is being threatened without any cause and that her inter-personal skills are quite sufficient according to the requirements of her job and to get appropriate orders of the court to restrain the management to discontinue to threaten her.
Biplab Swain
(Querist) 21 October 2012
Mr. Dhingra,
I do see a point. The fact is each verbal meeting has one recorded fact. That my cousin has fortunately done. She has asked for Agenda and minutes thru email, on which they are silent.Please note that there are recorded counters to each verbal meeting. While they have done verbal bully or unrecorded meetings. My cousin has followed it up with an email protesting the style and mode of the meeting while asking the reason, p[articipants, and agenda of such meetings. She is definitely not escapist. However, I did feel the advises were like such.
The fact is when there is a bullying happening, she is being allowed to travel and pitch for the ngo...Interesting. Even now while writing to you she is traveling to Sri Lanka for the NGO!
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 22 October 2012
If you are too keen to let her continue in the NGO and want these bullying stop at the same time then file criminal case against such criminal intimidation.
Now decide which one is more palatable - giving resignation and joining a new organisation or continue working with the same people against shown you have lodged complaint with Police.
Guest
(Expert) 22 October 2012
Dear Biplab,
When advice by anyone is unpallatable for you and you don't want to adhere any of the advices, better use your own wisdom. OF COURSE, FREE OF COST ADVICE IS OFTEN NOT CONSIDERED IF ANY VALUE AND IS USUALLY TREATED USELESS AND RUBBISH, LIKE YOU HAVE TREATED. SO, YOU ARE ADVISED TO CONSULT SOME LOCAL LAWYER AND GET SOME PALLATABLE ADVICE AFTER PAYING HIS FEE. NEEDLESS TO MENTION, PAID ADVICE IS NORMALLY TAILOR-MADE AS IS MADE TO ORDER ON PERSONAL SPECIFICATIONS, WHICH YOU CANNOT GET ON PUTTING ANY COMPULSIN OR OBLIGATION ON THE FREE ADVISERS.
We can only provide solution whatever we feel better with specific reference to your query. It is up to you or your cousin to adhere or ignore any or all of them.
Further, when your cousin feels pleasure in serving the same NGO with her own working manners, let her enjoy her own ways and methods. We can't compel the management or your cousin to mend their ways. Let her enjoy her lot on as is where is basis. BAKI, SAMAJHDAR KE LIYE ISHARA HE KAFI HOTA HAI.
Mind it, your cousin's own one-sided writing can neither be treated as a recorded fact, nor would prove to be so useful unless she gets their response to her writings or their attitude vindicated on their own record. Any agenda has nothing to do, unless there is any record of bullying during meetings and recorded in minutes of the meetings. Even her own protests through emails can work against her as her misconduct without any base to prove that she is unnecessarily tryting to blackmail the management by creating her own records without there being any word of bullying on the part of the management.
Biplab Swain
(Querist) 22 October 2012
Well, its not about under minig free advises. Especially from people who have been practising for years together. However, how can leaving things and running away canbe the only way? The fact that I'm pestering you all with the same thing again & again is to find all the other ways possibl and pros & cons of the same! WHAT CAN BE WRONG WITH IT?
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 22 October 2012
You are already adequately advised.
Now decide on your own.
Guest
(Expert) 22 October 2012
The other way is to file suit against the management. Nothing wrong, if you are so keen to spend money and give lessons to the management or take lessons from getting the rebuf without adequate sound proof against the management.
Guest
(Expert) 23 October 2012
The other ways are (1) your cousin should take a training course for enhancement of her inter-personal skills under some experienced HRD trainer; or (2) review her own performance level to mend her attitudes, wherever she finds any deficiency.
Biplab Swain
(Querist) 23 October 2012
I think the adquecy about proofs can be decided by learned lawyers like you. Then only we can decide if we at all can fight the case, isn't it?
As for keennes, well as I have already mentioned,but missed by everybody, She is looking for other jobs. But she needs her dignity to be intact till she leaves(which woukld take her 2-3 months)! And my querry was centered around that only. Which unfortunately has been lost some where.
As for mending herself, well You may be right somewhere, but what baffles me is if she has that skill problem, then how personalities, or experts, who are really hard to get, are so keen to engage with her or thru her with an organisation, "Till She is There"? Anyways, she did go for an evaluation and training, sponsored by her NGO, unfortunately, she was told, it's the management of the NGO which needs to mend itself! She was further told that "Three of the five directors are not for the organisation, but for their own personal profit" And these were the words of a trainer, who was hired by the NGO to train its staff!
BTW, propriety aside,Is it possible and prudent, if I ask her to spend and contact you all, with complete background for an advise personally? It would not be free for her of course.
Guest
(Expert) 23 October 2012
By referring and quoting the link of this discussion and sending complete details of the problem chronologically, as an attachment in a Word document, she can contact me through email separately at: dcgroup1962@gmail.com
Biplab Swain
(Querist) 23 October 2012
I'll ask her to do so once she is back from Sri Lanka. Regards
