Divorce without consent
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 23 January 2012
This query is : Resolved
Dear sir,
I would like to seek divorce from my wife but her family is in police and warned as if we file divorce. I had affair before marriage and unfortunately had baby out of it. But after marriage i have no relation except my wife.after my affair came to my wife she has become very wild at me disrespecting me and my family. I live in abroad and my wife keep on dragging all petty issue to my old issues.today my wife want to have baby even though we dont love eachother and keep argue on it. I have explained her that we need to improve our relation than we should think about baby but today she force me for baby. she keep on giving me threat that she will commit suicide because of which i am affraid. I live in abroad and law here is strict. I want to know whether if i file divorce case than what all criminal case her family can lodge. her family is in police than what possible disturbance they will do. should i seek divorce or not. as i am unhappy.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 23 January 2012
She can file lot of criminal cases against you including section 498A, 494, 5906 IPC etc.
Since yu are equally at fault, getting divorce would not be easy.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 23 January 2012
devajyotiji. Could you please furnish some suggestion if divorce is not a good solution to it. We both are not happy in this marriage. She doesnt want to take divorce as she doesnt want to be burden to her parents. on other end she carry on this relation by insulting me on and off. Even if she get dream about my affair before marriage her mood get swing and end up in argument where she blame me or abuse me and i try to console her by saying that by saying about affair before marriage will not solve the problem. which my wife doesnt get convinced and the whole discussion or argument doesnt go anywhere than into disturbance or abusive or breaking household things. It has become that myself in a prision and seeking way out.
Guest
(Expert) 23 January 2012
Yes she can file and drag u several criminal proceedings, further it can b possible if u personally talk to her/ her parents.
further it is suggested to explain me the entire matter in details so that v can plan some other way to solve ur matter.
rest call/ contact me asap to proceed further.
Manoj kumar,
Advocate,
Delhi.
Ph: 09310443650 / 09319220768
Email: advocates.agra@gmail.com
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 23 January 2012
As her family has warned me and my family abt the consequence if we file divorce. So I am afraid to take step further. Even her family who is in police has personally threaten to distroy my career and my family. so even making them understand about the divorce is waste of time. They also know that their daughter is not happy with but still to save respect within society they are not heading towards divorce as it will tarnish image and can create obstacle in the way of other kids who are lined up for marriage. Infact whenever i share the behaviour of their daughter they tell me that i must take her in confidence which is not an easy task. Even we had session with Psychologist and she said that my wife is no way interessted in trusting me so there is no point in continuing further. But i told her that i cant file divorce as her family member can screw happiness of my family and mine. But she said how long i will be afraid. Someday i have to fight back. as my wife had consulted to lawyer back in india i must also keep my ground secure incase she actually file Cr case. Today i am repenting on my decision to get married when i actually dont love a stranger.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 23 January 2012
You have no option but to seek her forgiveness for peaceful settlement.
Concealing previous relation out of which you even begeted one child is by no means a minor lapse on your part.
You are in a very sticky wicket and you better go for compromise, may be at her terms.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 23 January 2012
Well said Devajyotiji. it is sticky wicket Just want to understand that today she is demanding a baby which possibly can get rid her blocked mind(which was suggested by few friends) due to my past deeds and to get rid of being jobless. But In future After having baby if she demand Divorce than i will be screwed again. It will be like head will be hers and tail is already hers.
will be like hitting axe when i know axe is going get me bleed badly. which leave a person painfully for rest of his married life.
when my wife came to knw about baby she even went ahead and demanded my house which is mortgaged.
dont know after reading lots of divorce cases i have formed a opinion about this.
dont want to spoil anymore life. atleast to not that kid which my wife is demanding.
feel super helpless in this life.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 23 January 2012
I think you are confused with the divorce law of the country wherein you are presently residing. Divorce is not so easy in India as you think. Demand of divorce may be raised by any spouse before family court but it is not easy to obtain it. One has to prove beyond any reasonable doubt that opposite party has committed such cruelties which go to safely conclude that life and property of the petitioner is endangered.
In your case, there is no any ground for seeking any ground for divorce. So forget it not under the garb of threatening of your inlaws but due to the fact that legally you have no any case in hand which may lead to divorce.
Desire to have a child out of marriage is not a sin. If you cannot fulfil your legal and social obligation to make your wife conceive a child, what is the use of this marriage?
Instead of making this or that argument, you should fulfil your obligations as of a husband and should create a sense of faith/trust in the mind of your wife so that she may also reciprocate accordingly.
Beware this is second chance for you. One affair was before marriage, second is this and what about third, fourth, fifth and so on?
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 24 January 2012
Even if i present abusive email of wife, still on bases of cruelty i can not file divorce?
Nails on my forearm arent grounds which i can seek?
you rightly said that seeking baby is not sin. but i am wondering when there is no love and trust in the relation and assuming baby is a source of problem solution and if problem is not solved even after having baby than who is responsible. The person who has been suggesting personal relation improvement than making baby is responsible or the person who just think baby is a solution to problem which even suggested by some friends of hers.
I may be sounding little different. but this is confusion which i am discussing over.
You know i am super confused about my life now and i have observed divorce is solution as she can concentrate on her life and i can as well.
Shonee Kapoor
(Expert) 31 January 2012
First you need to decide what you want in life...
Regards,
Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 31 January 2012
well Mr. Kapoor. Even though i know what i want. I am affraid to fight for it as it will affect overall life of my mother father sister and brother. Initially i had intuition that i will be lodge under Cr cases but after summarizing above comments of expert. I have come to conclusion that i can fall on my face if i initiate any legal proceding. I am actually affraid to make any move. It was like situation of Do or die and after understanding legal implication i realize that i have die option which is suitable to keep family unaffected. But difficult point is my heart is not agreeing to die option but to fight for freedom which wish to have. I know this option can only lead to unhappy married life in which wife is spoil her life. so waiting untill she decide that she want to move out of marriage for better life of hers. yesterday she yelled at me and abbused me by saying "hizzara","person from slum", couple of bad words. But i have no option than listening to all this and move ahead with life. In anger she also said that she want divorce and she doesnt care what her family wants. she just want to get rid of this marriage. But today she is not sticking to what she want. well i liked you comment about what i actually want. But its not necessary that the person can afford to seek :)
