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Irritated with frequent power cuts,wife seeks divorce

Page no : 2

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     17 July 2011

I never said that husband is responsible for power failure.But he is a jerk.He found no solution to the problem.Rather forced the wife to bear this.


Try living in a hot city with no power for many days/months.

You cannot bathe for many days.

You cannot brush your teeth for many days.

You cannot wash your hair for many days.

Water is our basic necessity.If this need is not fulfilled,it can make you very irritable.

 

For example,if you have a toothache and you are unable to eat anything,how will you feel if someone forces you to chew a big carrot?You will feel tortured if he keeps insisiting,without caring about your pain and hurt..Yu would like to push that person away.

 

This family in question lives in Bihar where the inlaws are usually not so modern or liberal type.Despite her pathetic condition,they may be expecting her to  cook for the whole family.

To understand her situation,try cooking in your hot kitchen without any bath and fan for many months.You will "die" of heat of the temperature outside,and with the heat of fire added to it.

Even animals like dogs,birds,lions,etc needs water to cool off in summers.They move to places which can quench their thirst if water in theoir own habitats has dried.They don't try to control the animal that is trying to move to a greener,cooler habitat.This is the natural law,applicable to humans also.

But in India,we humans are so selfish,we don't care for the basic human needs,but care more about what the elders may think.If tomorrow your inlaws expect you to stop inhaling for 5 minutes,will you do the same out of respect?Will you torture yourself to this extent out of this respect?

It's obvious that the wife went to her parents' house often to bathe and get some coolness,which is her basic need.But her foolish husband disliked why she is fulfilling her basic need,and went to the police.He added to her miseries.

He should have bought an invertor which is not so costly after all, to find some solution atleast.But he chose another hot and tensed place called police station to resolve the problem.

 

It's not that the wife did not try to seek an alternate solution to this.

 

The wife suggested to the husband to live in Patna.The husband may not be wanting to leave his parents.So he could have considered her plea,for a few weeks and lived with her there.It could be like a vacation.Or he could have gone along with her to a cold hill station to bring some relaxation & happiness for the time being..But he did nothing.This is real torture.

 

If he was bothered about his parents,he could have thought of bringing along his parents as well, to live in Patna till the power problem subsides.It won't be there forever.But again,he did nothing.

 

In India,husbands' mentality is such,that if parents are living in inhuman conditions out of their own wish,they force the wives to also live like this.We are too rigid minded.Hence we Indians go on suffering and expect others to also take this suffering in their stride.If the story was just the opposite and the wife was forcing the husband to live in such inhuman conditions,then men would have understood what living in inhuman conditions is all about.

There was another case I read in paper a few yrs. back,where the wife sought divorce as her inlaws expected her to use the same bucket for bathing,in which they soaked all the dirty dusters of the house.They argued that we also use the same for bath.So why can't she?

Following inlaws' customs doesn't mean that if they are dirty or love to live in inhuman conditions,you also adopt the same sh*t.We have to treat everyone like a human,and respect everyone's comfort and peace of mind..This mindset needs to change..

2 Like

**Victim** (job)     17 July 2011

@ Roshini why should her husband agree to her terms and conditions ? If power cut is the main reason i don't think her husband should be blamed for this reason i m pretty sure they might not be living in jungle there should be other families living in surrounding as well.......matter of fact rather then relocating to hill station they should get together and approach upper authorities for this problem here it's not the problem between this particular husband and wife but it's the problem of whole surrounding area or whole town........some people can't afford inverter and i am confident even court can't force her husband to buy inverter.....if wife want to go to her mothers house for her daily comforts she is free to go for that but divorce for this is still a stupid reason.....thanks for ur explaination but i still stand on what i said earlier "DIVORCE FOR POWER CUT" is still a stupid reason

1 Like

Ravinder Kumar (Account Director)     17 July 2011

@ Roshni:  OMG, U have so much to write about, but plz Roshni U r again arguing on assumptions only, The lady in news did not mentioned anything other than powercuts but u have assumed so many problems between the couple... I will again say only one thing, Please dont keep all men under same lens, most of them too want peace and happiness in their life..


(Guest)

@ Victim

I agree with Roshni's views and analysis.

@ Victim

A wife is giving suggestion to the husband.It does not mean she telling her terns and conditions.It';s how you take it.If the wife was dumb,you would have said the wife does not participate in family problems at all.

 

Also Roshni did not say that they should relocate to hill station.She said that they should go to a h.station "temporarily",to get some relief,peace and coolness.

 

Lastly,if authorities could solve problems so promptly,people in India would not have to buy invertors or generators for their homes & shops.

Yes,you and others have the right to express your views and stand by them..


(Guest)

 

FIGHTING OVER TRIVIAL THINGS 

 

 

 

I dont think this is a serious issue to get divorce .

To save marriage

Husband should purchase inverter  or  emergency light(it cost around 500 to 1200 `):P

https://trade.indiamart.com/details.mp?offer=1813199891 https://www.naaptol.com/buy/consumer_electronics/home_appliances/emergency_lights.html

The true reason is not given by wife as " His wife reacted by serving him a legal notice saying she did not want to live with him since there is no power at her in-laws' house where they live." now, taking divorce this is not a reason.

In todays 's life men/women fight in trivial issues.This is one of the example .

At times, couples tend to quarrel over trivial issues like not turning off the lights or the tap or the stove, forgetting to pick up some grocery items and so on. These become the cause for a fight when they are actually depressed about something else and do not know how to express their frustration. The best thing to do at such times is to change the mood. Think of happy occasions and good times spent with your partner. Think how much you love them and then you may not want to hurt them by fighting over trivial issues

Note:spouses tend to try mind reading. They jump to conclusions about what their partner thinks of them or wants to say. Often times, it leads to squabbling and fighting. Never reach to conclusions and make statements not related to any reality.

 Couple cannot destroy it for trivial excuses. 


 

 

 

 

 

2 Like

Dipangkar (Business)     17 July 2011

Originally posted by :Princess

"

Their marital life hit the rocks after the whole of Bihar plunged into the worst-ever power crisis this summer. The town suffered from hour-long power cuts or were left without power for many days at a time.

"

 

It was NOT a problem ONLY suffered by that Family. Isn't marriege Share, Care & Sacrifice for each other? The advices of buying an Inverter doesn't arise here, for batteries won't be charged at this level of power cuts.

 

"

She complained she often had to go without a shower for days.

"

Hmmm... She needs Running Showers & Buthtubs to bath ? Where does she gets her waters to drink and to cook from ? Cannot she take her bath from water collected from that other source ? Or is she too LAZY to carry some buckets of water ?  (Even Jack & Jill went UP the Hill to fetch a Pail of Water) :)

 

"

As the situation turned grim, the wife would often leave for her parents' house in Patna where power is available compared to the district towns.

"

She needs her Luxury in her daily Life. (Husband can riot in darkness.)

 

"

The husband later made every effort to placate her but she refused to relent.

Instead, she suggested her husband abandon his ancestral house and live with her in Patna as an alternative to keep the marriage alive. But here the man refused

"

Her Husband is a Mard, not someone who believes in following his wife's advice to be a GharJamai. 

 

"

The husband has now filed a petition in a local court seeking immediate judicial intervention to ensure their married life did not break up over the power.

"

How her husband loves her, that bl**dy wife must be breaking his heart.

**Victim** (job)     17 July 2011

@ Princess still going to hill station is not a solution to problem it looks like a mafia is pointing gun on neck by saying yes or no if husband don't agree to relocate then go for divorce......i still stand on what i said earlier "Powercut resulting in relation cut" still stupid.........i am going to paste this forum in foreign countries i am 100 % sure that everyone will say that this women is looking for excuse in order to break this relationship


(Guest)

I also stand by my words.

 

When you are suffering from extreme heat,and water shortage,you cannot think of love,care and share.This is human nature.Also that of all living beings.

 

Dipangkar,this is India.Jack and Jill supposedly are from an advanced country in Europe/North America/S.America,where there is no water shortage.How can you expect people in Bihar to find plenty of water to fill in buckets.;)

If love,care and here is needed,the husband too needs to show it.He must find an alternative.Any sensible family in such a situation will find an alternative solution,instead of suffering indefinately and forcing others to suffer alongside.

1 Like

Ms Liberal (others)     17 July 2011

Yes, Powercut is not the genuine reason for taking any step in this regard. In stayes such problem is usually there I think both husband and wife should take appropraiate remedy against the power cut not in their relationship

Actually it may be possible that woman seeking divorce has been misguided or may hav read law material and wants to use in her whims. She also needs proper counselling from some impartial person that every trifling matter is not the sufficient ground for taking extreme steps

1 Like

(Guest)

In the absence of fulfillment of basic needs like water,air,etc,a perosn will become animal like.You cannot blame him,nor force him to comply.


(Guest)
Originally posted by :Victim
"
@ Princess still going to hill station is not a solution to problem
"

 

 

Then what is the solution?

 

Is the husband finding any solution?

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     17 July 2011

Originally posted by :Ravinder Kumar
"


@  Roshni U r again arguing on assumptions only, The lady in news did not mentioned anything other than powercuts but u have assumed so many problems between the couple...

 

 

"

 

 

I did not assume anything.I analysed the situation from the wife's point of view,and stated my analysis here.

For example:If there's a power cut in your area for many months/weeks,you will still expect your wife to cook for you and her inlaws,despite her discomfort owing to hot weather and heat in the kitchen..Won't you?

 

**Victim** (job)     18 July 2011

@ Princess if wife is really arguing about powercut then she should have known about such issues before even getting married.........if she is really looking for such comforts and in case if husband can't fulfill her dreams or wishes or comforts she is free to get seperated...........in short it is what it is ? Nothing is going to change and no one is forced to live without electricity or water. I am pretty sure court is not going to force her husband to go visit any hill station temporary or neither they are going to force him to buy inverter. If she wants to get seperated she is free to get seperated.

After this conculusion i am 100 % sure if husband don't agree to her demands then she is going to claim alimoney or maintenance saying that her husband ruined her life. It is very clear that she is going to put him in trouble.

Ms Liberal (others)     18 July 2011

Electricity pwer cut is surely the big problem but it is not for any single person as the whole city suffers. If if you are isolating the home from rest of others then its fine . iT DOESN'T mean that every woman living in that cioty will file for divorce. They should go for remedy in that any good couple can find the alternative if they are self reliant

These re the trifling issues which shpould not be granted for divorce

Otherise demands kkep on increasing which is unable to fulfil

one may say that he has only one cylinder, small home, no geyser, no posh house , no foreign trips. Its all about the eraning capacity of the husband as well asher spouse too (in todays world) Both can contribute fpor the well being of the future. Putting blame on each other will not solve the riddle

1 Like

**Victim** (job)     18 July 2011

Electricity pwer cut is surely the big problem but it is not for any single person as the whole city suffers. If if you are isolating the home from rest of others then its fine . iT DOESN'T mean that every woman living in that cioty will file for divorce. They should go for remedy in that any good couple can find the alternative if they are self reliant

These re the trifling issues which shpould not be granted for divorce

Otherise demands kkep on increasing which is unable to fulfil

one may say that he has only one cylinder, small home, no geyser, no posh house , no foreign trips. Its all about the eraning capacity of the husband as well asher spouse too (in todays world) Both can contribute fpor the well being of the future. Putting blame on each other will not solve the riddle


Originally posted by Ms. Liberal -------------- this is the answer i was looking for in short " Power cut should not be the reason for seeking divorce"

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