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Why men should refuse to marry?

Page no : 4

Guest (n/a)     03 September 2008


My mairrage was arrange mairrage. Mairrage is not yet registerd anywhere.

Please help me out.

Rajan Salvi (Lawyer)     03 September 2008

Forget whatever you have given in writing . You need not follow it. I advise you to change your place of residence , file a police complaint. If they refuse to take it , send the copy by registered AD post to the Superintendent of Police of that area. In this way whatever action they take will be an after thought. Do not take things lying down. Do not worry about the domestic violence Act. Annex medical bills xerox to the complaint. Don't you have a friend. IF not I suggest you tell this to your colleages at work and take the help of a local Advocate. File Complaint for offence punishable u/s 323, 504, 506 34 of IPC.

Vijay Kumar (Advocate)     04 September 2008

Sir, why this personal question about consummation of marriage is asked invariably in every matrimonial dispute?Whether it has any bearing on the solution?

Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     05 September 2008

Dear Ashok,


Your basic problem is your fear that she will file a complaint against you, she will get you arrested, she will get you dismissed from job etc. Live like a man- shun the fear. That is what god said in Geeta. No body can harm you, only you can harm yourself with your fear.


No heavens falls if a case is lodged, or you are arrested or spend some time in jail. More than 3 crores men are facing criminal prosecution in our country. More than 25 lakh persons are arrested everyyear- and believe me nothing happens. They get bail and live happily. Far more happily than living in this hell of fear.


They have beated you- file a criminal case under Section 323 of IPC. The beating was to force you to money to them- extortion. They snatched your credit card, passport- robbery. You should file a criminal case against your wife, and their family members for attempt to extortion, robbery and causing hurt. Get a good case prepared, and see them in soup.


Just shun the fear. Gandhiji got this country independence- just by shunning fear and asking people to do it.

1 Like


I just can't believe that I have missed such a debate.  Anyways, better late than never.  It was worth reading about all the legal implications in which man can find himself after marriage.  The article was more factual and real, and I really appreciate that.

Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     06 September 2008

Getting into this debate a bit late or otherwise does not matter-

If u r in the debate after getting married, u r late. If u in before getting married- it is ok. (said in lighter sense)


Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     08 September 2008

One of a very learned person argued with me that marriage is necessary for bliss of "fatherhood". I refuted the arguments on following grounds:

-fatherhood is artificial as before the institution of marriage (hardly 5000 yrs old) there was no concept of fatherhood.

-In nature, motherhood is recognised, fatherhood is never recognised.

-Child rearing work has been assigned by nature to women, concept of fatherhood is basiccaly a conspiracy to transfer this work to the men (beast of burden). In fact in nature certain smart species does this transfer work.

-A survey in developed country (USA) shows that almost 26% of the american fathers and not the biological fathers of their children and they dont know this. Nature has not given this capability to men to recognise their offsprings.

Thus, bliss of fatherhood cannot be a reason to marry!

aatma   09 September 2008

Law was made for divorce, not for the marriage. In fact, Marriage doesn't require a law. But still number of marriages is greater than divorces per day.                                                                            

Relationship of male and female is "NATURE'S LAW" for the purpose of reproduction to keep alive the living species (human,animal,plants). To achieve the purpose nature has given 's*xual instinct' as a perk to do the job  (There is no marriage and divorce in nature's law).

During the time of civilization (in civics)/evolution (in science) human society developed series of moral codes for life and applied on human society  on the name of religion and religious morals. Many religious myths were developed and preached by various monastries. This is actually like a sculpturing the nature's law. Parents passed these moral codes and taught the essence of life to thir children.       

Again during advancement of civilization human society (especially modern india) missed  (still missing ?) such a moral teachers to keep coating the nature's law with moral codes. So this society is going back to its original staus (wild, barbarian culture). Instead of doing the right job to keep alive the civilization, govt. implements laws like gender biased 498a and  divorce laws. These are lethal destructive weapons against civilized society.  Noone has realized (?), this is a silent killer of the society. Almost all the the victims are well educated engineers, scientists, and educationists and other top professionals. This society will lose their invaluable role in the development of the society and country.             

Solution: Parents and teachers are the powerful means to make new generation of people with good morals, marriages and keep the decorum of the human society. This is the way to save the marriages. Laws like 498a or DP never can do this instead these laws destroy the culture and finally human being.

If one wants to marry for:

Sex - other means available

Child - lots of orphanages are out there, and recently surrogate mothers available
https://www.surromomsonline.com/ (This day is not far, it will come soon in inidia)

Supporting companion - find good friends and go to religious places  'sathsang'

Family -  take care of your aged parents and help poor.

Then why do marriage? - read from the top.

Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     09 September 2008

Excellent thought Aatma-

We have no reason for marry for s*x, offspring, companionship or family. New thinking is required as to why marry?

Off course it is difficult to imagine at this point of time as the institution may not survive. State is keen on promoting the institution as it helps in making the subjects docile. However, no institutions can survive without valid and relevant reasons.

If we want this institution to survive, we have to explore reasons. If we fail in finding or developing good reasons soon, the institution will soon be a historical institutions like Monarchy, Church etc.

Guest (n/a)     10 September 2008

I read this article in a mix of disappointment as I already got married and came to know of this site only after I faced some of the listed problems myself.

The core issue I believe, is, how to make men aware of these existing prejudicial laws in their full implications, before they take a major step in their lives, that of marriage?

I came to know of a group called Save Indian Family (SIF) which is actively campaigning for fairer laws for men as also providing support to falsely implicated husbands. Their website is www.saveindianfamily.org.

Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     10 September 2008

Saveindianfamily is a good effort- but their focus is saving the family and not honest justice.

I, for one, believes in JUSTICE- family or no family, state or no state, order or no order.


Guest (n/a)     10 September 2008

Dear Mr. Rajesh,

Yours going to be a dream. I also wish but that will never going to be happened in this 'era' in india. Just pray to God, but  even 'God' is helpless, already Supreme Court has said ("In India, even God is helpless, says SC" https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com)

See following statistics:

Delay in delivery of judgements as well as denial of justice has been plaguing the Indian Criminal Justice System for long……

33,635 civil and criminal cases pending in the Supreme Court of the country with 26 judges.

33,41,040 cases pending trial in the 21 high courts of the country with 670 judges.

2,53,06,458 cases pending in the 13,204 subordinate courts across the country.

2,50,000 under trials languishing in jails across the country….

These are the plain and painful facts regarding the pendency in courts in India at present.

“The horrendous arrears of cases in courts is a disgraceful blot on our legal system” said Shri Soli.J.Sorabji..

Huge backlog calls for long adjournments and thereby undue delay in trial. Delay in disposing off cases in turn breeds corruption.Transparency International, in its Global Corruption Report 2007 has revealed recently that an amount of Rs 2,630 crores was paid in bribes to the lower judiciary in India during 2006! It is agonizing when a judgement goes in favour of the rich accused and a poor victim is denied justice because he cannot pay and buy it though he has truth on his side!


Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     10 September 2008

Well said.

The only objections i have to the term is "rich accused". Most of the accused persons in india are very very poor- not enough money even to eat- that is one reason criminal lawyers are generally not well paid and lawyers (including me) prefer to practice on other side- civil, property, tax, IPR etc.

I feel pity for accuseds, languishing in jail for decade- and when their appeal is called in Supreme Court for hearing- they are not represented by anybody. Notwithstanding a few hyped media cases, understand that when we advocate for accuseds right, it is for very poor persons not in a position to defend themselves.

giri nivarthi rao yadav (lawyer)     14 September 2008

Man should never refuse to marry until he is an impotent.I am 56 but still searching for my life partner and I may suceed soon.





Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     14 September 2008

Best of luck.

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