Shelby Somi 10 August 2025

Husband and his family are very orthodox

My husband’s family is very orthodox, they do not want their child to get out of bed and at the same time want daughter in law to completely look after all house (cleaning, cooking, dusting, taking care of baby, etc) Also husband do not keep any contact with his family relations like bua, Mausi, mama, etc but in this also they want wife should take care of all this. It becomes difficult for me to survive in such environment because I am also working and I have decent salary and I come from a family where father can cook and brother can take care of child. They are not gender biased. Main problem is husband is very much under his mother and father and they keep on telling him that your wife mother want to break your house so my husband has stopped all conversations with my family(brother, mother, everyone) and he says you should stop going to them and stop talking to them. We were married in Dec 2021, blessed with baby boy in July 2024. Husband’s family did not came and my mother came to took care of all delivery, etc. Somehow my father struggled and stayed alone at that time for 2 months. In pregnancy and 2-3 times my husband has hit me also if I said anything about his parents or something which he doesn’t like. 2 months After pregnancy I went to my home and there he came to take me back since then he has stopped going and talking to my parents and also he did not even greet my parents. Now my husband keep on asking me to come along with him to his home where if I go, they don’t talk to me or if they talk they keep on telling all orthodox things that husband is the supreme power of family, you should always obey your husband, etc so I do not like going there as they keep on filling my husband mind with orthodox mentality. My jeth(husband’s brother and his wife) live in same city but different home and bhabhi do not even come to my husband’s home. Only 2-3 times in a year. My husband can’t take care of child also and can’t handle or do house things also. From ordering things to looking after house and baby all I do along with my job. What should I do?? I become mad in all this sometimes and feel like taking divorce. He takes my 30% salary also to run house and earlier in between he tried taking all salary in his account when i denied after few months he said your mum might have denied(which she didn’t) He takes me forcefully for 3-3 days long road travel, I ask to please take flight but he don’t listen if I tell his parents and ask them to explain their kid they don’t explain but keep on telling me you should do what he says, so my parents called his parents that this is not good our girl don’t want to go such long way by car so they say why are you interfering. Let them live the way they want. It’s not the way we want it is always the way my husband wants. He do not listen at all.

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13 Replies

kavksatyanarayana (subregistrar/supdt.(retired)) 10 August 2025

You settle these issues by consulting with your parents, elders, and well-wishers. Even then, you are not satisfied, and you are not interested in living with him, so file a divorce petition.

1 Like

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate) 10 August 2025

These are trivial things that happens at every household, neither you can bring an end to such things nor you will be able to cope up with the everyday frustrations hence you may better stay in your parents house for a period of three months or more and watch the development, if there is no response from his side then you remain silent without entertaining anything from their side until a conditional compromise is arrived.

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Dr. J C Vashista (Advocate ) 11 August 2025

Now you are married and have to accommodate yourself as being practiced by your in-laws, if you want peace to prevail in the family. It is the question of compromising and adjustment as per new environment, which should not be made an ego issue.

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R.K Nanda (Advocate) 11 August 2025

Consult a marriage councilor.

1 Like

Real Soul.... (LEGAL) 11 August 2025

Take my advise , just stop and analyze your so far tenure as wife, daughter in law and mother , if you find yourself guilty of a single

Take my advise , just stop and analyze your so far tenure as wife, daughter in law and mother , if you find yourself guilty of a single event just wait with patience and keep tolerating. But if you think you never did any wrong and tried to mend things ad your husband is unreasonably torturing you than take the step now or you otherwise you are going to suffer a lot in future. If you can leave and stay at your parental home then do it now, let you stay there and keep working take it as a measure. Until our husband and his family don come to you with apology and terms stay away. Keep yourself safe , don fell prey to such bullsh*t .

If you can’t go to your [parental home then arrange a rental place. Otherwise in long run you will curse your own self for your submissions.

event just wait with patience and keep tolerating. But if you think you never did any wrong and tried to mend things ad your husband is unreasonably torturing you than take the step now or you otherwise you are going to suffer a lot in future. If you can leave and stay at your parental home then do it now, let you stay there and keep working take it as a measure. Until our husband and his family don come to you with apology and terms stay away. Keep yourself safe , don fell prey to such bullsh*t .

If you can’t go to your [parental home then arrange a rental place. Otherwise in long run you will curse your own self for your submissions.

1 Like

P. Venu (Advocate) 11 August 2025

Lengthy posting of events, trivial as well substantial. First of all, identify the grain from the chaff and decide the course of action you desire to pursue.

1 Like

Dr. J C Vashista (Advocate ) 12 August 2025

You are intelligent enough to settle issues amicably and enjoy your married life at your in-laws.

Best Wishes

Shelby Somi 12 August 2025

Helllo everyone,

thank you so much for your valuable suggestions.

today's update is that my parents has told me that do not talk to us. Do not call us.

If your marriage will be saved and your husband want you to stop talking to us, then we don't have problem. We will also not call. Just drop a text daily that you are ok.

My concern is family is very orthodox, no problem I will try to adjust but will they stop here?? Today they have asked me to leave parents After some time they will start demanding something else from me? Like my whole salary?

I don't have problem in giving salary also but I feel if they cannot support me while I do job and manage house then they do not have any right on my salary as well. Am I wrong in thinking this?