Delayed in 498a complain process

aditi yadav (Querist) 08 June 2023 This query is : Resolved
I am from haryana and married in bulandshar (up). I am living at my parents house since july 2022 after major fight with my husband and inlaws. He did contacted me or my family for reconciliation even refused to meet us when my elder tried to meet and solve the issue. He didn't invited me or my family for his sister's wedding in December.
So after loosing all hopes we filed complaint of 498A against my husband in Mahila thana , Mahendragarh haryana in January. IO notified my husband for counseling many times. He came once and after continuing making excuses and not coming for counseling. IO served him hand to hand summon also. But still he is not coming. He infact he already filed sec 9 HM act against me and after my complain he filed false sec420 against me and my family regarding some fake degree documents and some online money transfer around Rs80000. His case got dismissed in lower court then he reapply in session court and now we got summon to appear there. We have all proofs against him but i am still concerned. He is harassing us by different means to make us withdraw complain against him. But i don't know what to do now regarding our 498a complain ? What's further process when will police register FIR against him ? And he is not coming so how we go to ADR center for counseling as his presence necessary i guess or Police can directly register FIR against him as they already summon him by hand ? Please can someone tell me exact further process regarding 498A ? What should I do now ?

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This discussion revolves around a woman's experience with a delayed 498A complaint process in Haryana. Despite filing a complaint against her husband and in-laws in January, the process has been stalled as the husband refuses to attend counselling sessions, even after being served with summons. The husband has also filed counter-cases, including a false Section 420 charge, which was dismissed. The user is seeking clarity on the exact next steps for the 498A complaint, including FIR registration and the necessity of attending an ADR centre when the husband is uncooperative.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 09 June 2023
continue with 498a.

what is exactly 420 case you gave no details.

Dr. J C Vashista (Expert) 09 June 2023
You should have preferred social pressure / tactics to resolve all issues/ disputes amicably.
Opting legal recourse will further spoil your matrimonial life / relations.
It is always better to reconcile by adopting forgive and forget at any point of time/ stage of dispute(s), if you want to lead and enjoy peaceful married life.
Now you may (should) accept his company in the petition under section 9 HMA and inform your husband as well as Court accordingly.

aditi yadav (Querist) 11 June 2023
@sudhir sir ...Actually we told him at time off marriage that i am BA graduate but earlier i also cleared medical entrance exam and taken admission also in BDS but after 1 year i loose interest so i withdraw my admission and persuade my Art and handicraft hobby and did Normal BA for degree. He & his family agreed and demanded 51 lakh cash as dowry but in secret no person except him , his brother sister and my father and uncle should be there while giving money because he is in Government job and can't take dowry and he will later deposit this amount in my bank as FD so that i didn't need to do job. He is Gazetted officer so my father agreed but for precautions we made a secret video while giving money. And also have recordings where he is saying all these demands. But after marriage mother in law and sister in law deposited all amount in there account and started taunting me about my father that he gave nothing and started asking money from my father by making excuses. I opposed so we also had fights and my inlaws started hating me and torcher by creating disturbance in household works and creating misunderstanding between me and my husband. But my husband is nice so i thought things will improve in future so i continued marriage but last year my husband got so much influenced from his family that he also started fighting with me and started saying same things about me and my father's financial status as my in laws. So 1st my parents tried to slove this matter by talking but all failed so we filed for 498a in January 2023. But my husband already filed sec 9 HM Act in December 2022 and again another case in march 2023 under sec 156 stating that i told him that i am a working dentist and so he married me without any dowry and so we did fraud with him . And put charges of sec 420 . But case got dismissed in lower court so he reapplied
And also complained in police station same under sec 420.

aditi yadav (Querist) 11 June 2023
@Dr. Jc vashishta sir ...we tried to patch things as he complained in there police station so yesterday we went there and when police understand and sides and saw proofs which i had so they also dismissed his complaint and then in front of police when SHO asked to slove matter within my husband's mother asked for divorce although my husband didn't want divorce and me and my family neither but my Mother in law didn't want to see me again so she is forcing him to divorce and he can't oppose her . So we agreed to divorce but they are returning only 48 lakh not marriage expenses etc nothing. So we take time to decide. So lets see what happens next. If you have any suggestions please tell... Any type of guidance would be helpful.

aditi yadav (Querist) 12 June 2023
My husband withdraw his complaint from police station today and his advocate also called to arrange a meeting to discuss further solution specifically money we want for mutual divorce. What should we do now ?

Dr. J C Vashista (Expert) 12 June 2023
@ Aditi,
Both of you and your husband are well educated, settled, working (which you can start, if not now, with such an excellent profile) and belong to well to do families. Both of you are required to be counselled to save matrimonial institution, which would, otherwise, be disastrous if not reconciled, where I (personally) did not find any serious eventuality / incident which cannot be resolved with the intervention of elderly persons of the society, common relative(s), friends/ well wisher(s).
However, in order to minimize intervention of your mother in-law both of you can stay away from her if your husband and other family member(s) of your in-laws do agree to such a proposal.
Best wishes
Dr. (Maj) J C Vashista
Advocate

aditi yadav (Querist) 13 June 2023
Sir, i want to save my marriage because i really love my husband in spite of his wrong behavior sometimes because i believe he behavior badly with me only under pressure of his family members. So even on last meeting when police officials asked our decision I choose to save our marriage but he choose divorce even Lady SHO told him to reconsider as our problem is not big there is chance for reconciliation but he still choose divorce. I felt heart broken when he asked for divorce but i can't live with him forcefully so i also have to divorce him. Sir, he don't have anyone in his family except his mother, sister and brother. This is the main problem. No elders , no relatives who can try for patch up . Only his mother and she has full control over children's lives. So don't know now what solution we get through meeting but his advocate asked to meet so we are planning to meet them again as they fix time and date. Then update you again . And my 498a complaint is still pending in police station don't what happens to that when they report to SP that my husband not coming for counselings and what's next step for our 498a complaint.

aditi yadav (Querist) 14 June 2023
My husband not coming for counselings and IO said we need his presence to transfer complaint to ADR centre and only after coming back from ADR then SP can direct IO to file FIR against my husband. But my husband is not coming even after in hand summon is also served to him so is there any method to file FIR directly without going to ADR centre under sec 498a ? Please anyone tell me the procedure for haryana police? Please.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 22 June 2023
any complaint to her department?

aditi yadav (Querist) 23 June 2023
@ Sudhir Kumar sir, i send mails to his department commissioner and Deputy Commissioner but i didn't get any reply from their side. So i don't know if they asked my husband anything about it or not.

aditi yadav (Querist) 23 June 2023
I think my husband wants divorce but didn't want to return our money and other expenses that's why he is doing all this.

Dr. J C Vashista (Expert) 24 June 2023
Before accepting divorce and pressurize your husband you may explore filing case(s) before your parental district / magistrate court under section 12 of Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 for your maintenance and shared accommodation and another petition under section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code, 1973 for your maintenance through your lawyer and request police to file FIR u/s 498A IPC as soon as possible.

aditi yadav (Querist) 08 July 2023
Finally FIR is registered against my husband and in laws as they were not appearing for counseling. Now hopefully it result in something better for me.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Expert) 13 August 2023
If the FIR has been registered then they will apply for anticipatory bail, at that time you can file an intervene petition and record your objections before court to prevent the court from granting them bail.

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