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Jagjeet (peon)     18 November 2010

Divorce

Please advise me for getting divorce. Few facts : 1. Married for the last 1 year. No dowry exchanged 2. In-laws and wife are greedy. After my money. 3. Me and mother are the only person in the family. Sister married. 4. Living apart from mother for the last 4 months in a rented house on the advice of SIFF volunteer. 5. Have taken the control of Streedhan. 6. Wife pregnant with 7 months. Want to wait till child's birth. 7. Ready to pay the maintenance but can't live with her. And also can't tolerate my in-laws. What will be the approximate maintenance if my salary is Rs.27000/- p.m. and what it will be if I leave my job. Please advise as I am not afraid of myself but want my mother to be on safer side.


Learning

 51 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     18 November 2010

Wait till the birth of the child, it may change your mind. Seek councelling from expert marriage councellor to save your marriage, think of the child befor making any decision. If nothing is possible go for mutual consent divorce.

1 Like

Jagjeet (peon)     18 November 2010

I know that this thing will affect the life of the child but now what to do...things are not settling, neither my wife nor my in-laws..it is evident that this thing will attract 498a etc.. But I don't want to live in fear..It is not just my responsibility to settle the things..this marriage have broken the family leaving my sick mother all alone..I am suffering for the last 1 year..and sometimes suicidal thoughts came into my mind.. Please advise how to save mother from all such issues

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     18 November 2010

if everything is fine from your end,why wud your wife and inlaws harass you?

inlaws feel gr8 and proud of their son inlaw if if their daughter is treated well by him

so i fail to understand...

1 Like

Jagjeet (peon)     18 November 2010

Thats the thing what I have tried to deliver but all the matter is about money...madam I am all alone..they know that and always pressurize me for doing the things as per their wishes..please understand that I still have maintained the relations with in-laws but my wife has not..just a mother is there..the girl is not able to take the responsibilities and therefore involve her parents which often creates problem due to interferance..I will feel happy if she would have handled the homely affairs..everything is hers but the thing of ruling the home has disturbed all..my MIL is the root of all the problems..

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     18 November 2010

IF 498a is not filed yet file divorce immediately before she files a 498a on u.

Jamai Of Law (propra)     18 November 2010

I think you aslo need councelling. It's not a bad thing....it works as a medicine...Don't we go to doctors for flue/cold etc?

 

Its a temperamental problem with you both........No woman would go to these extreme  levels without reasons in a span of 7-8 months of conjugal life!!.....There is small room for you to argue in fact.....and wife woulde get sympathy.....you were expected to be more adjustable and considerate and were expected to be with her in her delicate conditions...you don't know what you have missed!!!!

 

 

If you are in illusion that............... you would disperse it...I would be surprised....it keeps haunting .....Outcome of any attempt of break-up is hinged on many parameters.....merits doesn't always do justice!!!.........there cases where a party's was innocent but preferred to let it go the divorce ex-parte instead of fighting to dismiss it!!......But after that.............the jubiliation of the winner was short lived......the other party just couldn't settle again in life!!!!..............

 

Be a man....put yourself to those kids................ who are braought up with out parents........You created an unfinished new business and new obligations and now giving flimsy reasons!!!! surprising!!

 

Just for money she won't dare you to file 498a and you won't go directly to SIFF within such a short span for no trivial reasons.

 

 

SIFF's credibility would go down if they start advising blindly........every male.

 

 

Still you haven't reached the doorsteps of court...you still have time to recover...and contain the loss......

 

 

Go to your wife...and give ger confidence and be honest.......Otherwise The path that you are going towards doesn't have rosy end.

 

2 Like

Jamai Of Law (propra)     18 November 2010

Work on those signs of discord written by 498AVictim ....to resolve it to find a right solution to mitigate it...and not as an excuse or enflame the dispute to achieve a break up.

 


(Guest)

@Jagjeet

"they know that and always pressurize me for doing the things as per their wishes"

This shows everything

File for divorce.

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     18 November 2010

@ 498A victim

i agree with all your points regarding discrimination against men..however i also agree with jamai of law that no woman will file 498A case just for getting money.going to police is not smth. pleasant.if she's only after money,she can file 125 or DV act...why wud she goto police?

if the husband is rich,why wud the wife ask for alimony that may/may not be high(depends on her luck how much she's able to extract from him)

rather she wud like to stay with her hubby to enjoy all material benefits instead of leaving him...i hear of men/women marrying a rich spouse so that they can enjoy all material benefits...so how do u say that to enjoy material benefits a lady wud like to leave the husband?wont she be a fool then?

u say why alimony is not a crime but dowry is a crime?

and i say alimony comes later,ie,after marriage breaks.but dowry comes earlier when talks of marriage start....so dowry is the cause of alimony..

dowry goes on forever like a ritual which girl's parents have to follow! but maintenance stops when the girl remarries or dies.
 

men can avoid alimony,maintenance,etc by taking advantage of loopholes in law,by bribing people etc or show themselves as rediwala,jharuwala,sabjiwala etc

but a girls's dad even if sabjiwala has to give dowry and arrange all marriage expenses....so dont compare dowry with alimony please....

first talk in trms of ending this custom of dowry and of entire burden of arranging marriage expenses only on daughter's parents...once this happens,then u can talk of ending system of alimony(that too only if the girl has a permanent high paying job;not any contractual low paying one)

1 Like

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     18 November 2010

agree with adv kushan , no need to get confused if u have definitely decided u cannot live with her , go for immediate divorce as a 498a on u is imminent .

i donno why such couples have so much haste in producing babies, if u were not sure about living together.

1 Like

(Guest)

"also agree with jamai of law that no woman will file 498A case just for getting money."

This is not  100% right. many ladies file false 498 a cases just for pressuring the husband fro getting money.

you said if she's only after money,she can file 125 or DV act...why wud she goto police?

Just because to pressuring the husband so she file dual action 498 a and 125crpc.

1 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     18 November 2010

hey advisers,

i appreciate your views that these are the author's personal decsions and i respect his decisions also.

but he's so newly married.i agree with jamai babu that temperamental differences are common esp. in 1st year of marriage.

i think author's approach is totally wrong as he's contacting SIFF people and now LCI,ie,all legal people that too just after few months of marriage.

first ask him to arrange a meeting with her family where v.wise and impartial mediators(relatives,friends,etc) are present to listen to story from both sides and then find amicable solutions to their problems.believe me such family mediations work.

they can also try marriage counselling

dont rush into a divorce like this

otherwise,

ACT IN HASTE, REPENT IN LEISURE

1 Like

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     18 November 2010

if u dont act fast u may spend rest of Your youth in jail , make ur intentions clear ----DIVORCE .


(Guest)

In this case only one solution that is Divorce.

A stitch in time, saves nine.


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