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Pragnesh Nathavat (physical therapist)     09 April 2010

Who promotes the extortion by women?


Who promotes women to extort men?



1. The system and law-

Everyone knows that all laws favour women. And in country like India there is no punishment for putting up false allegations or even false cases. So women think that there is no harm in giving it just a try. They just allege their husbands, if he fades up of all suffering he will simply give her some money to get rid of her. Or sometimes he may also give money just out of fear that he will get into some serious legal traps. Or when husband is fighter and doesn’t give up and fight till last, for his wife there is nothing to lose. Because there is no punishment for putting up false cases. In this way, whole system of law promotes women to extort money from his husband.


2. The advocates-

Advocates always have their own commission whenever there is settlement in any matrimonial case. So they never show their men clients the right path to fight out these laws. They never encourage their men clients to fight for truth. Instead, through out the case, they always keep on torturing their own men clients to settle for an amount. They have their own ways of explanation, and in long course of time they mostly succeed to convince their men client for settlement and not to fight till the end.


3. The judges-

Almost all judges, may be under the burden of lightening the case load over courts, always advice the parties so settle down the matter. Judges know that most cases by women are false. Still they say to husband party that, “its better you should settle down this matter. You are so young. There is great life ahead you. Its not so good that you fight for such silly things. Try to give up (meaning give the money to your women) and see how beautiful the life ahead you is.” They also say to wife party that, “laws always favour women, so do not worry. (meaning that you can still file more false cases over your husband). You always have options as a woman. (suggesting the wrong path).”
I have also heard a judge saying that, “if you file a divorce or RCR first, of course you will get the whole package of 498, DV and 125. And this is common. This is not a cruelty. It happens in all cases.” This clearly means that judges know falsity and mockery of cases still they promote it. If judges, who are considered final interpreter of law, think and act like this; god only save Indian families.


4. Parents-

Men’s parents can’t see their son alone in his life, fighting with all these hurdles in such a young age. Its their feeling and they cant stop advising, suggesting or forcing their son, “beta, paisa kamane ke liye to puri zindagi padi hai. Please give money to those devils and get rid of them. We cant see you in this position.” They say this with tears in their eyes. And it contributes to promoting the extortion.


5. Said relatives and friends-

They say that, “look, I have such a beautiful family. Man, you also should settle down in life. And dear, no wife will leave you without taking money. So finish the case dear and give up. Then you will be able to start a new family like me.” (clearly a message to show wisdom and superiority). So they also promote this extortion.


6. We : husbands-

We may fight for a year or 2 year or may be 3 year, then we ourselves lose courage and energy to fight, plus there is continuous pressure from court, judges, advocates, parents, society for settlement. We know that we are not criminals. Still finally we give up and ready to give amount for settlement.


This has created the whole scenario in our society that it is a rule that even when you have done nothing wrong, even when you have not left your wife, even when your wife has harassed you so much, even when you want your wife back or even when she wants to leave you……you have to give her money to finish the matter. 


 7 Replies

G. ARAVINTHAN (Legal Consultant / Solicitor)     09 April 2010

a good topic to discuss. Pragnesh is right in posting the same

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     09 April 2010

I think India is pasing through a phase of disorder.

P. Venu (Advocate)     09 April 2010

The faultlines are quite obvious - lack of wisdom and understanding. We are amassing more and more knowledge, but pawning wisdom. Men and women, husband and wife are not enemies, not even competitors. Their role in society and the family is to compliment each other, like the two pans of a weighing balance. It is misconception that marriage demands empowerment among the partners; what it involves is the realisation of harmony by sharing responsibilities. 

Vast of majority of countrymen and women, educated or uneducated, literate or illiterate have imbibed this wisdom and blessed with a peaceful and contended life. It is the fringe elements who are making too much hue and cry and indulge in loud and inappropriate discourse. They only deserves to be ignored.

Sreenivas V (S/W)     10 April 2010

Hi All,

It is good discussion. I have an idea about this. Can any one tell me what might be the problems if I do like this.

I am also facing problem with 498A. They are not giving divorce also. They will do it only if we met their demands of money only. As usual my 498A also full false.

What if I marry a girl and live happily, let the cases runs as many years it takes. My plan is why should I give money for no mistake of mine. Also there will be no proofs that I married and suppose they find and police came to my house I will say she is a servant or family freind. Where is the proof. What can they do. First finding me in ahouse where I am living in city itself difficult.

Can any one tell doing this may cause any problems. A family friend girl is ready to marry me and they are also ready for the secet marriage as we all know each other very well.

Gundlapallis (Advocate)     11 April 2010

It is not a good idea to marry in secret - if you have such an understanding you can plan for live-in relationship till you divorce your first wife.  Though your wife may oppose your divorce petition there are plenty of chances you might get it in a reasonable time since she had already filed 498A.  Running of a 498A is no bar for your second marriage.  First get divorce - just dont runaway and remain a criminal.  Dont give money.

Gundlapallis (Advocate)     11 April 2010

A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00.”

The guy asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?”

“That’s obvious,” the assistant states, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…..


Not only in India there are more 'Kens' in Western world.

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Fully agree with you, To add further, I would say, Population and corruption are also responsible for promoting the extortion.


More the population, more the number of cases in the Indian courts. More the case, more time it takes to get finished. Why a person should waste his precious years of life in the courts? At the age when he can earn more, he should have a wife & kids, a peaceful life at home; who would like to continue with a court cases (say 498-A and divorce only) for minimum 5 years ? If the courts can take just 6 months - 1 years time to resolve 498A case, then the total number of these matrimonial cases will come down drastically. More then 90% will disappear.  Most of the girls will also ADJUST with ONE husband only. They will treat FIRST husband as the LAST husband only. Kids will also have only ONE father i.e. their Biological father. More and more familes will be saved. Also everybody would have got justice.


Corruption in the public servants doesn't allow to move a case faster. When a complaint is filed in women cell, police take their own time, to extort money from boy's side. In the last FIR has to be filed in any case. Then they will demand during police custody. Basically, upto filing chargesheet they expect you to pay them or face delays.

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