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Kundu (Sofware Engineer)     08 April 2011

Want annulment of my marriage

I got married 4 months ago. And after marriage I came to know that my wife is on medication since may 2008 to till date for depression. But before marriage neither my wife nor her family informed me about her illness or medication for depression while we have 8 months gap in between engagement and marriage. My marriage to till date (4 months) me and my wife do not have a single physical relationship (to prove this thing I am ready for medical) as she is facing so many problems like she get wet even I will kiss her, her liquidation is too much. You can take idea for this that if I will start to kiss my wife,  her cloths like underwear and also salwar (lower/ pent) get wet. Her body ordure is so bad like medicine. And her taste is also bitter. So over all my s*x life is zero.

When I asked her for her previous reports she said my family said not to disclose my illness with you and your family but because we both are facing so many problems so I am telling you the truth that I am on medication for depression and mood swing since May 2008. She also said that she committed suicide 2-3 times, she was afraid of old people even with her grand mother and she also told me that she was also scared with blood even with her own blood when she see it at the time of her own period monthly . and then she said please do not disclose this thing with any one. When I directly contact her family for reports then they straight forward said what kind of report you want ? she is perfectly fine and just suffering from Migraine.

Now about my wife’s health, she is so ill. Daily she has fever, in the month of april in Delhi she is wearing woolen cloths. She has head ache, she has pain in her knee, wrist. She has backpain and you can say daily she has fever and body ache.  She is not able to do her household work even my mother wash her under garments. Her daily routine is that : 9 – 9:30am she will wake up and will take bath and then a tablet with empty stomach then she will take breakfast on her bed which will be provide by my mom and after breakfast she will take rest or sleep then my mom will call her up for lunch she will take the lunch and again will go for sleep then again my mom will wake her up for tea and will give her bed tea. Then in night my mom will cook all the food again and she (my wife) will serve it and then again after taking dinner my wife will be on bed for her sleep. I am feeling so helpless. I do not know what to do and how to handle this situation. Because I also have done 20-30 checkups of her but no use. And now her family blaming me and my family that we are torturing her so that’s why now she is not well. And I am afraid that they can put the blame on us for dowry and harassment or cruelty.  Now I want CANCELLATION of my MARRIAGE, please guide me what should I do in this case? Someone told me that first go for PESHBANDHI. But if I will go for PESHBANBHI then her family will also got to know that I am going to leave her any way and they will file a case for dowry against us.

Please help me out and let me know the full knowledge / detail about PESHBANDHI. And guide me that how can I Cancel my marriage legally.


 12 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     08 April 2011

@ Author

Too much personal facts issues raised in public forum by this post however they being beside the point she is a probable case of;

1. High estrogen level or high ovulation and or a case of erosion of her cervix.
Rx could be to insert a ice cube to contract her muscles and or it is medically seen that post pregnancy this idiopathic conditions changes to normal levels and or support of dermatologist and very long term un-conventional treatments is seen to be effective in such reported cases but then read para 2 before jumping from roof top.

Have you got any histopathological investigation done upon her to rule out any other disease she may be unfortunately suffering with other than reported depression? However, depression can be brought under control with long term usage of various intensities of medications unless if not treated in time and if neglected it may transit to a form of reactive depression stage as she says on her suicidal tendencies so what she basically need is prolong care and watch over her are some of my medical views. But then it is also a persons perception on quality in marriage how and when to carry it forward and or march without a spouse for which read para 3

3. Further I may add that it is difficult to leave a wife whose alleged idiopathic conditions were not revealed earlier to you under present gender biased Laws framework just like that!!!!. If you have to do exactly that then see to it that she is well cared for from all angles (present and future atleast after all who you are behind S/w a humane being too is it not right think introspectively) then only take any legal remedy steps.

In sum to me the grounds are not enough to get a easy divorce and since she in stages of bipolar as per ijnterpretatiof facts tallyed under DSM - IV she may react with Crl charges too which is not ruled out at all under presented briefs.

So weigh all angles and act accordingly. Pray that both of you are sensiable enough to act in finality in such unfortunate social case scenarios. 

2 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     08 April 2011

You say your mum washes her personal garments.Does she do so in front of you,or does she tell you after you return from work,that she washes them?


If she tells you these things after your return,that means you have not seen your mum doing so.So be 100% sure if she is telling you the truth.


I know the case of a v.close friend whose mum inlaw defamed her so much in society by putting very vulgar and false allegations,one of them being that her inlaws wash her undergarments.When she was thrown out of matrimonial home,she got no support from anyone at all,neither her husband,nor his relatives,as everyone got a -ve impression about her.And she and her parents remained stressed for many years,struggling in life all alone.


This eventually led to the couple's divorce,as the husband could not tolerate "disrespect" of his parents.Of course he never verified if his mum was telling the truth,since the bahu was living alone with her inlaws,during a holiday,while the son was in a far off city.


Maybe you mum is true.But you need to see such incidents happening, to believe it.You may even install a hidden camera,although this advice is a bit odd.

I know another such instance where the mum-inlaw was abusive towards the bahu and the son never trusted that his wife was the victim.On being insisted by his wife,he finally installed a hidden camera in home,without his mum's knowledge,and finally saw many such events which proved that his mum is the real culprit,which was not revealed earlier,as she acted nice with the bahu in front of her son.


You wife being simple may not know of such ideas.So you install such a thing,without any family member's knowledge,to know the truth.


I personally feel your wife has not received enough love in her life.So she has suicidal traits.That's why she is taking you into confidence,believeing that you will love her all the more after knowing her traumatic past.She seems very innocent.

I feel if you are compassionate with her,she will recover soon.More than of depression is cured if patient is given strong emotional support and love.If you leave her,she may go deeper into depression,and may even kill herself.Are you ready to live with such a guilt all your life,that you became the cause of your wife's death,as you did not value her?



Depression,is v.common nowadays.


I think that legally,a person can get divorce from wife ONLY if her mental or physical disease is INCURABLE.Depression is very much curable.If allopathy can't,naturopathy surely can cure it.Even the gynaecological problem you mentioned is curable.All feamles at some stages of their lives face some kind of s*xual and gynaecological problems.It's impossible that any female has NEVER encountered such problems.


If you have written such personal details so openly here,it was wiser to visit a s*xologist and a psychologist where you could share all such things.They would have helped the 2 of you and given her a permanent cure.

Ultimately,it's your life.But being humane is above everything..Today you may leave her and marry a normal girl.What if she is so smart that she ruins your life.Read all the problems men share here about how their wives harass them.Your wife sounds very simple and soft hearted.She just needs love,which her family never gave her,and therefore got her married hurriedly.And she needs a proper therapy,which will SURELY heal her.

Rest depends on your conscience.

2 Like


You are telling your wife's daily routine from morning till evening.Are you home to see what exactly is happening,or you are only getting your parents' reports?


Yes,if someone has fever,he can get chills even in April.So what?I have seen such illnesses happening to people.


If she has bodyaches,they may be because of stress,which perhaps you and your family give her,that she has body odour,gynaecological problem,etc.


What if she comes and tells you "you have bad breath."........"You are ugly and dark."


Will you take the above statements sportingly?

So,if you are taunting her ,she maybe be overstressed,and the resultant physical symptoms.Now put a hand on your heeart and ask yourself if you comment upon her frequently or not.


Her parents say you torture her.So she has stress.Try understanding what they say.Maybe they are right.You never know how your parents behave with her in your absence,which makes her insecure of losing you..So she may be having fevers and body aches as a result.


Sit with her and ask her very coolly and compassionately,how your parents behave with her.There must be few things you may not be knowing.Listen to her v.patienly when she tells you something,instead of showing offence.

If she is afraid of blood,it may be because of a childhood trauma.Maybe she saw an accident.So she got afraid.All such things can be cured thgrough therapy.
There are woman who are unable to have s*x with husbands because they were s*xually abused or molested in childhood.So the trauma remains in their subconscious mind even after many years.And these stupid laws call them "impotent".Whereas such things can be cured with a few rounds of therapy.

So you decide,whether you want to waste your time,energy and money in courts for annulling your marriage,which may go on for many years?


Or you are ready to spend a few 1000s. to get her treated in a few months?

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     08 April 2011

do u have all her medical reports-yes?

marriage non consummated -yes?

you are hindu?


immediately meet a lawyer and file annulment on basis of fraud

do not be afraid of 498a after u file annulment

do the first step fast without wating time and cum bak to forum.

Deep (k)     08 April 2011

200% agree with Avnish.................


There is no meaning of marriage if someone is not physically capable........ https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Man-granted-divorce-as-wife-denied-s*x--34195.asp



Her parents say you torture her.So she has stress.Try understanding what they say.Maybe they are right.You never know how your parents behave with her in your absence,which makes her insecure of losing you..So she may be having fevers and body aches as a result.

------- here wife alread agreed that she is facing problem since long time and on medication since May 2005 then what is the meaning of this paragraph......


Also why a husbang can never know daily routine of his wife....... give me a single reason......

they are newly married and when wife is not feeling well husband if can't take leave he can take care of her on SATURDAY & SUNDAY...... he is not out of the world......

mother-in-law is very bad right because she is cooking and wife is taking rest........

Remember a husband can't lie this much when newly married........ aaaaahhhhh give the advice instead of doubting someone.........


If the diease is so curable then why they parents couldn't spent 1000s since May 2008


I pray that God listen and give you both happy life...... though I didn't understand her family in stead of helping you to cure they are  baliming........

As said by the girls do install camerasssss many....... that will help you to prove yourself innonce and her in the bed everyday (as you said).......


Also few days someone can have fever....... if it is there whole year 365 days then it's not fever.......

Go to s*xologist, phicologist, gynacologies and then decide your future........ still your wife's family seems to be fraud by hiding this much..........


Not sure if below link can help you


Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     09 April 2011

@ deep


the link u have provided makes no sense.


in that news,the man got divorce as his wife never appeared to defend in court hearings.so it was decided ex-parte.that heading is misleading.it shud have said "man granted divorce as wife did not appear to defend herself".

shu cud not have been "proven" impotent unless court had heard her side of story.

Deep (k)     09 April 2011

before providing link I started my sentence with Not Sure......


also do you think a marrige can work without s*x, even if both are capale doing it..... can last few years not more...... in that case either spouse will go extra marital affair...... and the result will be divorce...... it's obviously practical situation......

Dear mr. Kundu, You want annulment of mrg due to she is in Depression or you are unable to enjoying S_ _ with her. Be act as human first, Depression is a curable disease. I know some girls/boys do these type of silly mistakes, But this is not a good action. Consult a good doctor, She will be recovered mostly with in 3-6 months time and then on medicine on regular basis with in a 1-3 years time max. If you are from delhi, I suggest you a good doctor for the same treatment and assures you she will be perfectly alright with in a 3 month time and able to serve as a wife in every aspects. Help her & remember those promises during the time of SAPTPADI, Those 7 phere by both of you. Please respect every one, That's life nothing else. Have a regular try & discussion with her related to her issues. On one day, You are proud to be having a Lovely Wife in your life. Think, Is there any guarantee that you got second one as per your expectations. Rest decision upto you, We are always a better Judge in our own problems or concern. Regards, Abhinatre Gupt.


It's again illogical from the member's and just acting on the moral's and avoiding the real pain of husband here.


I say do Husband's are Tatoo or what or are they have taken the Theka of all illegalities and dustbin's of societies.......?????????

If a girl's father and mother hide the matterial fact's which are very important to built relationship between husband and wife . How can a person accept his wife after knowing the truth. It is highly immoral to comment here that this disease...that disease or any disease can be cured but my dear member's of illogical reasoning plz clear it as " kya husband wife ka theka liye hue hai , ki agar uski shaadi jhuth bolke kar diya jaye aur uske baad husband mare ya jiye koi farak nai padta kyonki woh human hai usse insaniyat ke naate yeh rista nibhana hoga, bhale wo suffocate hoke mar jaye.


Shame on this thought whoe ever suggest to compromise with these wives who had been conspired to supress the matterial fact's prior to marriage. Yarr shaadi jhuth bolke kabi chal sakti hai, shaadi do dilon ka mail hai yahan samjhauta hargish nai ho sakta.


In this particular thread if this disease was curable then why her parent's not treated her well before marriage,why they have not told all the truths,now when husband came to know the reality ....so,they will blame him,they will charge to just override their fault's and become just to the society,.........to say that look we are clean chit and my son in law is bad who made my daughter's life hell here.Shame again to these crooked cock pit's.


I say do husband kisi Karz khaye hue hai kya ki wo aapni zindagi in dustbino ya in bimario ko dhoega. If any matterial fact's would have been told prior to marriage,then it's husband wish that he want's to continue or not,but hiding the truth to just make their daughter's marriage solemnized at anyhow is only a crime. These parent's as well as daughter's should be sent behind the bar's without any mercy...and this effect goes to both gender's or vice versa.


A humanity doesn't need to be praised for the just sake of compromise where ones human life is on toll is my view on all such queries where matterial fact's has been supressed prior to marriage.

thanks & regards.

2 Like


Although I opine that one should not sacrifice one's life for changing someone, because I believe its not really worth to do such an act but here in this thread, Roshini's advice really was wonderful and needs an appreciation. Hope the author have considered it.


When a wife is really innocent, its upto the husband to decide based on his conscience. Its a very very tough task. I have seen one such great husband and I have seen how much he suffered all thru his life, how he sacrificed his whole life for the sake of the sacred knots. Some men are really great.


Problem is arranged marriages suck to the core. No marriage should be made on lies. Partners should fall in love first, understand each other for quite some time and then only marry when they think that it a fit case. Marriage is definitely sacred, no question about it but our system is bad. On top of it, we have bad customs like dowry, infidelity etc..

D Seikhar G (self)     12 October 2013

I agree with @sufferers view as Iam personally strugling with this type of fraud done by in-laws to trap rich grooms and any how to get their daughters marriage to him. Once married by default the real pain starts.

Roomy (academic)     21 April 2015

Well, I for one would not post so many details on a public forum. After all, don't feel bad about it but you are also lowering your spouse's dignity in that sense. But well, one can let it pass supposing you are too stressed because of some s*xual issues... Well, depression is one of the most under-reported issues in India while India has the highest number of depressed people. So, that is not really an issue. If you perhaps, looked into yourself, your job and so on, you might just realize that you might as well be suffering from short term depression.

You said, your wife's 'smell' and 'taste' is awful. Don't you think your 'taste' and 'smell' might be awful to her? Did she even once tell you about it? Come on, if you posted such details in a civilized country of the world, you might just have to face a suit for defamation. In fact, if you told her that you loved her body smell (and 'taste' as you indicated), she might just feel so confident about herself and it would do so much more for her self esteem. And help cure her of depression. Don't you think your behaviour as such could probably be hurting the young woman a lot more?

Just because you stay in India, which is largely patriarchal and women can be suppressed in families doesn't mean this, my friend. The fact that she told you so much and confided in you even while her family would have strictly told her not to-- it actually means how much she loves you. If you went for a divorce-- and who knows you might have already-- you would be missing out on a real and genuine loving partner. What you need in marriage is a loving partner. Well, I do understand that s*x is important and you seem too focussed on it.  But how is somewhat excessive ovulation a problem in s*x. It might just act as a lubricant. Yes, it might tire her, which is another matter. And why do you have to act as a beast who insists on penetrating your wife just because you married her... perhaps, you can be soft and tender with her. She might take some time to open up. You could caress her. Talk to her for a couple of hours alone. And if she has fears or insecurities, you could perk her up and compliment her genuinely. Im sure she would recover and be a great partner for you.

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