R K........ (Analyst) 08 May 2012

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If you are a bachelor looking for a bride or you are looking for a bride for your son , for God's sake please be informed about IPC section 498a which can be used to loot your family. Please follow the below checklist to make sure you are not getting a 498a wife or daughter in law. It would be better if you can hire a detective to gather the informations mentioned below. This would save you from the huge humilation, harrasment that your family may face in police custody/jail.

Check whether someone from the girl's father's family or mother's family has ditched her husband for trivial reasons and staying in her parent's house
If the girl that you are going to marry is currently having a full fledged relationship with someone who is a frequent visitor to the girl's house - stay away
If the girl is having a relationship with her brother in law or her close relative - stay away
Check whether the girl's family is in deep debt (lot of home loans, car loans) and their income is less than their spending
If both the girl's parent are working , be double cautious , girls with lot of freedoms can really be troublesome
Make sure there is not much difference in economic status between your family and girl's family
Make sure the girl is a good match to you physically. (example if she is fat and you are too thin, stay away)
If the girl starts saying things like "I love you ,etc." before marraige , just do not get melted , 90% of the time she may be just acting as told by her parent.
if the girl has got a close lawyer relative and the lawyer is not earning much from his practice, be extra cautios. Verify whether the lawyer is ready to fight a fake 498a case.

· If the girl is very hot tempered , better to avoid

If you belive in astrology , for God's sake get both of your kundali matched by a good astrologer
If you are not taking any dowry , better put in writing that "No dowry was exchanged in this marriage" in a stamp paper and get it signed by the girl and her parent

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7 Replies

S.K.Maanav (International President International Hindu Personal Law Board) 08 May 2012

really very imp. precautions.

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker) 08 May 2012

yes, precaution is always better than cure

but there are no surefire ways of defence against false cases.

(Guest)

Right said by Mr Amit.

Live life as, Sochnaa kya jo bhi hoga dekha jaaegaa.

Be a rebel brother's ................. ;):)

Rgds,

Abhinatre Gupt.

P.S.:: Be marry without any negative thought's as positive ones are always working on any relations.

rajiv_lodha (zz) 08 May 2012

Also add: INSIST ON LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIP RATHER THAN FULL-FLEDGED MARRIAGE!

randomethic (Professional) 09 May 2012

Also applicable equally, to all girls looking to marry today's men:

In addition to the above, remember to check how his father treats the mother...more likely than not, you will get the same treatment from your husband.

See how open/closed minded the would-be man is about your relationship with your parents vs his relationship with his own family.

Check if he is an alcoholic, on drugs, visits prostitutes, has financial issues like debt, gambling, s*xual predator.

Check if he has temper issues, or if his father physically/verbally abuses his mother, it is very likely you will be treated the same way and be expected to live with it because in his house, this is acceptable behavior.

Check if the person you are marrying has any actual interest in you or just wants you to make all the changes and adjustments after marriage and this includes: relocation, change of religion, not being allowed to meet your parents, being cut-off from your family and/or support group like friends.

Check if you have any common interests at all, or if he has totally differing tastes.

Meet his friends with him, especially the married ones. People surround themselves with others who think/act/feel like them. If any of this friends degrade their wives or speak of women in a demeaning manner, and he is party to it, it will happen to you as well.

Understand that you have the right to be loved, accepted, respected and treated with dignity regardless of which family you come from. He has the same right as you do.

Most importantly: Marry someone who wants to be your partner, not someone who wants to control you or turn you into a puppet for his own/family's pleasure.

At whatever age you get married, remember that you are new comer in a new environment. You cannot make or break anyone's house. If their internal family dynamic has not been good before you, it will not suddenly become worse because of you. Don't believe all the negative stuff about yourself. No-one knows your intentions better than you.

Remember to keep an open mind. In-laws aren't by nature bad people but marriages change the dynamics of a family. Indian in-laws don't understand that they're also supposed to accomodate a new person. You can be yourself and still respect them.

R K........ (Analyst) 10 May 2012

Totally agree.. but the law is still in favour of women.. if at anytime she feels that she is not able to adjust she can use 406/498A and blackmail the boy ?????

Kelly (software engineer) 10 May 2012

The tips given by you are really nice.Is she in some kind of interrogation?No need for checklist dear.Just behave natural-and act based on your instinct.Do you expect to know all about her in the little time you get to meet her?Even a whole life is insufficient to know a person.First,you have to know and understand yourself that what exactly you want.You just can't know everything about a person.The years ahead will challenge you,and you will learn much more about them and yourself as time goes on.If you cover the basics and both stay committed,you should have a long and happy marriage.All the best,regards.

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