please help me to save my baby


Dear Experts,

This may be a long post but I really need your advise to save my baby. Please Help Me

Last sunday was a black day in my life when my wife with her family humiliated me in public view and forcibly took my baby. My wife and her entire family were abusing me in the road in a public view. I was begging them to go inside as it is a family matter but they didn't even allow me to talk and they were continuously abusing me and telling all the lies that they could to show me as a WORST person in this world. They didn't even give me a chance to speak and they were blindly saying whatever my wife asked them to say. After that incident I was completely collapsed and couldn't even understand what had happened and why my wife did this to me. I am still asking the question "Why did she do this to me?". It is a place where I grew up and now I couldn't even go out as everyone in my street look at me like I am an EVIL. When I asked my wife "why did she do that?", she didn't even regret for what she had done instead again started accusing me that I mishandled her family in public. I just can't believe that the lady who was with me all these days, who I am married to, with who I shared all my personal feelings had done this to me. She even sent me an email saying I am the worst person in this world and now she is accusing me that I tried to kill her. I am really scared to the core and I am speachless. She mentioned everything that i told her when we were close and now she is using all of them against me. Basically she had created a story/drama with full of lies, with incidents that never happened and instances whatever she has done to me. For three days, I couldn't even come out of that incident and I was ashamed to go out and stayed at home itself. 

Just because I couldn't understand why all these are happening, I started googling and came across the word Narcisssist. Until that moment, I thought I was dealing a rude lady, but now that I had spent almost a week reading all the articles and vidoes to understand each and every piece of NPD, I could see 200% of all the NPD behaviours with my wife and I think I have been dealing with a Narc for the past three years. She kept saying that "She is always right", "she is very special", "she can't lie" and she never ever apologized to me in these three years. As we have 2 years old boy, just not to spoil my boy's future, it was always me who go and apologize to her just to keep our life going for the sake of our boy. Now i can relate each and every activity of her in the past to a core Narc behaviour. In the past, I couldn't understand why would their family can blindly listen to her without even thinking what is true and what is not. Now that I learnt about flying monkeys, I could very well understand why her family were behaving that way. I can very well see all that manipulative techniques my wife has been doing all these days. She used triangulation, gas lighting, smear campaign, flying monkeys etc etc. I could relate each and every word she used during her conversation to one of the manipulation techniques that Narc use.

Its been 10 days now and I still couldn't come out of what had happened. I feel like my life has come to an end. I feel like there is no point in living anymore. I couldn't sleep at all. I couldn't enjoy my food and I do not feel like eating. My thoughts are always about her and my baby. It feels like I am living in the hell. When I see others, I feel like I am the only one in this world is not happy and everyone else is happy. No matter how hard I try to come out of this, my thoughts are always about my wife and my baby. My mind still hoping that things will be alright. Often I get angry for what my wife and her family has done to me and I do not want to see them anymore in my life. Often I am afraid that my wife will spoil my life and my family further by logging false complaints. Often I feel pity about myself that I couldn't do anything. Basically I do not know what I am doing at this moment. I do not even know if I really exist. 

I do not want to continue anymore relationship with my wife. After reading all the articles and seeing videos from victims, I think she is done with me and she will never come back to me. If at all she comes back to me, I think it is going to be more dangerous if I let her stay in my life. So I am trying to make up my mind that she no longer exist in my life. But I couldn't digest that my 2 year old boy is with her and I feel like his future is a big question mark. I very well know how my wife grew up and I am afraid to the core that she will raise my baby the same way. Once my boy grow up, I think he is going to have a tough time troughtout his life. I can't let my boy stuck with this Narc family and spoil his future in front of my eyes. But I really can't do anything at this moment. I am a very normal man and I do not know any powerful person to deal with them legally, I can't talk to her because she blames me for everything, I can't talk to her family because they wont listen to me, my family is not willing to talk as they are tired of all her activities, I can't prove that she is Narc as there is no diagnosis. But I can't let my baby stuck with this Narc family and put his life in dark. ALL I WANT IS SAVE MY BABY FROM THIS NARC FAMILY. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP ME....I BEG EVERONE IN THIS FORUM TO HELP ME TO SAVE MY BABY....

 
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Dear Friend,

Mine is also same situation. Yours is some what better than me. You are lucky that she has not filed any cases against you. Discuss with her and her family, take mutual divorce. Marry anothar woman.

As per law you dont get your son. I dont say that you have to forget your son but dont remember too much about son. Get visitaion rights meet him. 

Remarry another woman, have new baby. you will forget everything.

You said you feel ashamed and unable to come out side. Forget about society. No body have time to think about you. Live for your self not for society/others.

Words are free, everyone gives advice, when coming to help nobody does.  You have to solve your problem.

We have one life, enjoy it.

 

 
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Thank you my friend for your kind words. I know it may be too early but I couldn't come out of the her thoughts (though she is an EVIL all these years) and my baby. I had tons of dreams how I want to raise my baby. I bought soo many toys to him. I couldn't digest that I will never be able to spend good time with him. I know only time can heal all the pain but at this moment, I feel like my body is burning. I keep saying the words my baby tell me again and again myself. I still do not know why she has done this. What does she needs in her life? Sorry my friend but I can't stop myself asking all these questions.

 
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I can understand your pain. it is waste to think about the past.

Do one thing, take 10 days leave from your job. pack your bag.

if you love travelling, roam india on your bike. see new places.

or

go thailand/malaysiya/singapore etc...  enjoy the life boss...

 
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divorce your wife. and file a guardianship application in court for custody of your child
 
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Your pain and anguish are understandable but remember that time is a great healer. Just dont take any action for a few weeks. Dont worry. Your baby will be safe and fine. You will meet him in future. For now, just sit pretty, quiet and just relax. The more you fight the tougher it'll get for you. Gently contact your wife after a few weeks and resolve the matter amicably. It should work out.
 
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if u read about Narcissist and almost judge ur wife is narcissist . then u had also read how to overcome these type of person. don't focus on what's ur wife was , better focus on how to liberate itself from her.
1. collect all evidence what u want ,favours urs saying.
2. file divorce , ruthlessely ,regarding her old behavior.
3. try to learn to love urself more than any one.
4. be a man , and come out of ur emotions. No need of this ,for ur time come to next . because when u file divorce ,really she try all tactics to fight with u.
4. if u don't do nothing , nothing will happen . just this will the strategy of her . belive on urself and fight with full strength . then u will surely overcome of her within a short period .
5. don't wish / try that she will come to ur life when u obey her. Never .. list of demand will regular expand . and u can't fullfil all of her choice.
6. Belive on god . never blame on indian judicial that ,it's woman prone etc etc.


best of luck
 
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Remember a emotionless person can always fight with emotionless person (specially with ur case ).
 
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