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Rosa angel (house wife)     31 May 2010

marriage problem -ush

we had been married since 2 n half years.we got registered in 2007.n i was not in touch with my parents since 1 n a half  year as i wanted my parents to accept my husband has their own son.later they decided for a simple marriage n reception.even they spoke to my in laws but they kept dragging things giving reasons.but discussing  with my husband they arranged for d function lat the end of the  year 2 008.my parents even went n invited our in laws n they agreed to come.but my MIL the previous day to the function called her son n told him not to tie the mangal sutra.my husban  listening to her started saying things that he ll not do that.but as my parents had arranged things they just requested him for t.n at last he agreed.but no one from his family turned out for the function n they had even promised to bring mangalsutra.

afetr this eveything was normal but they were lil fights between me n my husband regarding this.since my husband had his sisters marriage credits n also defaulter of credit cards as one of his cousine had swipedt.i decided to help him seeing his bad situation.took loan for him n helped to pay off his  credits.

n i stopped going to my in laws house as they had mentally tortured me when i requested them to attend  the function ..saying things that my parents should go n talk to them.i should say my parents that they are nice people that this.even MIL said u both had decided to marry..n do whatever u people want we are not comin.

later at the end of 2009 my husband started behaving very oddly with me.. ignoring me.later i discovered that he is behind his ex girl fren who stays in the other state.got to bout the picture they both exchanged.later i asked him not to do this n just forgave him.n i didnt even tell to others bout this except one of my fren.

later i discovered still he had kept contacts with that girl.n found messages constantly being sent to her,calls made to her through his bills.seeing those messages i was totally broken up.later i warned him to stop this.

as he had broken my trust i started doubting over his calls.n we used to fight over this.but i still loved him n i always used to ask him to prove his trust has he had broken t.but we were fighting as usaul couples do..

every thing was ok untill he got promotion.but later he started behaving very rudely in his speech,in his behaviour .n continuosly torturing me sayin to leave him.n he wants to live his life n u live urs.keeps messaging me saying if i wont leave him he ll go without even informing his family..n on that he keeps torturing me saying his family members will come n ask me then ill know that this.

though i didnt wanted to work i did for him to help him inspite of my back problem as m suffering from disc problem.i always neglected my health thinking once his credits r over than i can resign from my job that he ll be there to look after me. but now he doent even bother even m suffering terrible pain,he doent take me to hospital,he has stopped eating at home,he sleeps seperately.m going through a mental torture.i even tried to sit n sort out things but he keeps saying that everything is over he doesnt want to live with me.each day m suffering what he ll do next?i still love him n i don want to break this relation.

i couldnt understand the reason for his behaviour..n later i came to know that he has taken some exams in his office.once they get selected they ll send them abroad for 2years.now i understand why is behaving so with me.he didnt even inform me bout that thing.

i had even told my parents,but when they came here to sort out things he just didnt speak to them he left house n went out came back only after they left.

when i said him ill resign from job that i cant work any more with this back pain he said job is more important to me.he doent even look after me properly.when ever he goes out he doent even inform me.ill be worried n ill be calling him but he doesnt even pick my call.i just trusted him went against my parents n married him thinking he ll keep up his promises.but now he is trying to ruin my life.m mentally upset with this.n my parents are suffering a lot as i have my younger sister to get married.

i have always supported him financially  n mentally in his need.m quite hurt by his arrogant behaviour n he is trying to fly off without even informing me.but provision is there in his company to take their wives along with them during such a long official tour.m mentally quite disturbed not even able to work at my office.n one more thing he is very close with one of his woman collegue.n i have found his call list full of her no.she even siad that she n  her boyfren would be going abroad within 2 months n they ll be getting married there.what should i do if they are planning to cheat me?

i feel like killing myself.please help me what should i do ?i can take a legal help?i don want to break up our relation..waiting for a reply



Learning

 4 Replies

Latika Singh (Legal Executive)     31 May 2010

First you keep yourself mentally stable. Secondly this was completely your choice to marry with him. In your case, as you said previously he loved you very much. Try to find out the reason for his rude behaviour and try to change yourself as desired by him. Legally you can take help of legal counselling. You can not go for maintenance case as you dont want to break your relation. So instead of taking legal help, first try to sort out your problem by discussing with your husbands and in laws. Otherwise we are here for your help.

Regds,

1 Like

Rosa angel (house wife)     31 May 2010

first i want to thank u for ur response.it was a great help.dear madam he loved me till his credits were paid off.after his promotion he has started behaving so.may be i have fought with him over family issues n girls whom he was behind.

i just tried to sort out things speaking to him.he is blaming me for everything.but i know i have not done any fight intentionally.he was not at all worried bout our future n used to keep advicing him.when i found out may be because of his financial problems he is doing t.i started saving n bringing things home.i bought things from my earnings.i even spent on him n supported him.now his credits have been paid n everything has been settled.he feels he doesnt need me now.

even i asked him sorry for the fights (when he kept relation with  his ex girl fren also i just forgave him).n asked him ill change myself.still he is behaving as though i have committed murder.now he is not even bothered to look after me.m suffering from bad health n i want to resign from job which i always wished to do once his credits have been paid.i have struggled a lot for him putting my health into risk ignoring it.

now when i need him he is not there for me.my   parents even tried to take us for family counselling.but he didnt agree for that. i don have any hopes from my in laws.when my parents had arranged for the simple marriage only they didnt turn up.

i just want information bout legal counselling.my parents are still trying to convince him.if he is not ready i need to go for a legal help.how can i get t?

Dharmesh Manjeshwar (Advocate/Lawyer)     31 May 2010

It seems u chose the wrong guy in ur life .... If counselling fails, it is obvious that u would need legal help and for that u'd need to consult a good lawyer who practices in the family courts ... There are marriage counsellors in the Family courts ... there are also several women's organisations who help in such matters ... But before that see to it that u have exhausted all ur resources to bring back ur married life to normalcy ... the last resort should be climbing the steps of a court ...

1 Like

Pankaj Mehta (Advocate)     31 May 2010

U can file an application under Domestic violence act against ur husband because a series of different tortures u have suffered due to ur husband, the court can refer this matter to protection officer and u ll get the relief without breaking ur relations, if situation goes more worst, u can claim relief whatever u desire under this comprehensive act, so engage a good reputed lawyer and let him handle this matter. 

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