Niranjana (Manager) 27 October 2011

I seek justice

Its about me and my boyfriend ..

I am a thirty year old girl, staying on my own in Bangalore working for a reputed company . I am a very reserved girl and especially when it comes to my professional life I always manage a distance with my colleagues unless I really know them well.

I met this guy in my office who always wanted to be my friend , take me out etc. He was always behind me but I would never pay any heed. Slowly I started responding to him and going out with him. Within three days of knowing each other the guy proposed me for marriage. I was indeed very shocked and surprised. However I told him I need to know him more before getting into a commitment from him, hence asked for a month and I told him the same that he should also know me a little more before asking me to marry him.

He is a Muslim guy and I am a Hindu, which was a concern for me but not to a great extent. It was about convincing my parents but before I wanted to know if he can make a good husband.

As time passed, the guy showed me a lot of love and care and gradually I felt he was the one. We got into a serious relation and started discussing about our marriage and how to convince our parents. We even started planning our home as any other normal married couple would do. Most of the time the guy stays with me, almost all the weekends and sometime in the weekday too. We started staying together as a normal couple who knows what they want out of life. Do have little fights but it was normal. Religion was never a discussion for us. Infact he never had any problem with it, but tough at times he mentioned that he wants me to convert into muslim after marriage, I have made it very clear to him that I will not, coz I am going to marry him and not his religion. And he would understand that.

In the mean time, our intimacy grew and one day I got pregnant. I wanted to keep the baby and get married to him. But he said it will be difficult for us to approach our parents this way. Hence we decided to go for an abortion and in any case I knew he was always with me. So even if I had to lose one, I knew we can plan our family once we settle down together in a legal way.

He was all the time with me when I went through the abortion and then one fine day we decided to inform our parents about it. I had gone to home town for couple of days and spoke to my mom about us. I knew the response would be negative, however I also had the confidence that one day our relation will be accepted. This fact was known by both of us…and we even had planned what to do next when they say no to us.

I did not get to speak to my father but my mom said she will speak to him in the coming weekend. I got back to Bangalore and the very next day, he had to go to Delhi for some training and from there he is going to his hometown. This time it was his turn.

But the moment he reached Delhi, things started changing. He wouldn’t talk to me the way he use to. It became a concern for me because I have just informed my mom about us, and Dad would soon come to know bout it. I waited till the time I could hear something from my father and called him up immediately to inform what happened…(ofcourse it was a negative response from Dad as expected) I wanted to inform him bout it but when I called him I still got a very cold response and hence I asked him the problem as he was behaving odd with me. And he gave me a long list of reasons for which he is disturbed. He didn’t know what to speak to his Dad, because I am not willing to convert to his religion. He also said he cannot take a risk of disobeying his father because his family means a lot to him K. In straight words he was giving a second thought to our relation.

I got really mad at him. It was because of him that I got into a fix situation. I was really really hurt and out of anger I told him I do not want to be with him at all. I couldn’t believe my own ears…after getting this close, he was giving a second thought. I said in that case all you need to do this…confess it in front of your family that you have screwed up my life.

Its been two days since I haven’t spoken to him. My mind says I have been fooled, but my heart says something else.

I do not really know what he is upto but yes if he has to leave me this way, I will be in disaster. Ofcourse I have no rights to stop him from doing anything but how can I let him just walk away like that. He should get paid for what he has done to me. I seek justice…but how?

Please help.

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10 Replies

seema sharma ( manager) 27 October 2011

no problem , meet some professional advocate and you are going to get a huge compensation from his part and it will become punishment for him.

1 Like

Asghar (Ops Manager) 27 October 2011

Dear Sister,

As a Muslim I know about Muslim families they would have washed that guy’s brain nicely. They would have told we will get you the good looking and rich Muslim family according to your standards and the girl what you have chosen will not be according to our standards. The better solution until you takes any legal steps, do not talk to him and change your mobile number immediately. Do not let him know that you’re taking serious step against him. Somewhere in his heart he would be thinking about you and that will get burst one day, so start showing him that you can live without him and ready for everything.

Start collecting the proof that you spend weekends together, in that matter any letter, greeting cards, SMS, gift. Made sure you have the entire medical document to prove yourself in front of court.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any more queries and concern.

Take Care!

1 Like

adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (practicing advocate) 27 October 2011

whether you both are married or not or just it was a relation?

Have you got abortion?

Niranjana (Manager) 27 October 2011

Yes, i have all the evidence to prove it that we had a relation. The online messages, the abortion details, sms's and few photographs.

Asghar (Ops Manager) 27 October 2011

I would suggest you to wait for few weeks, lets see the guy is trying to reach you out against his family. If not you can go ahead and consult the good lawyer to take legal action against him. According to me he would come back to you and you'll continue your life without any issues.

Do not forget to pray and do not pray to forget him, otherwise you'll not be able to forget him. Start consentrate on your future and keep yourself busy.

1 Like

Niranjana (Manager) 27 October 2011

Yes, i will do that. Wait for sometime. He is going to meet his father this Nov 3rd and is back to bangalore on the 13th of Nov. But the worst part is we work in the same office and same floor. So cannot wait more then that...n yes at the same time there is a fear..'what if he gets married or engaged to someone by then?' i wouldnt want to destroy the other ladies life.

At the same time i still love him . And if it is a misunderstanding from my side...i would like to appologise and continue being with him for good. Except for this incident, i have a lotz of good memories with him..

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA) 27 October 2011

This query was raised in another forum as well.

However, on basis of the facts, no true cases are applicable.

Though there are many other ways to get back. First you decide whether you want reconciliation or revenge.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Asghar (Ops Manager) 27 October 2011

I do understand your situation and I really appreciate your thinking about other girl’s future in this weird situation. Your mind will run in thousand directions and you’ll not be able to control it for first 3 months. As a guy I know he would be thinking to resolve this issue before he takes and decision in life. You have given good memories to him which will make him to live with you rather running behind some other girl. Be patience and try to identify the truth before you take any drastic decision against him. Don’t put yourself in a wrong situation which will made him to leave you alone and which will make you suffer whole life.

Things will fall in place if you keep quit and patience. God will be with you if you seek his help and guidance with patience.

The more important thing is to be confident enough

(Guest)

Vendatta is different from getting justice and by punishing him you will be punishing yourself. Forget the past and think about the future. Hear the gorgeous Shivani in ASSTA of the Brahmkumari Network, that'll explain how vendatta means punishing yourself. At this juncture of your prime youthfulness don't ever make the mistake of getting into litigation with a view to punishing him. If you you'll regret it and once you become old then lost time will never come back and then it'll be too late to to rectify your past litigation mistakes.Rest is up to you. If you don't choose my advice then rest assure in future you'l regret it.

Norbu Lama (Finance Officer) 27 October 2011

Love remains love only till it is pure love but when it is blended with personal or family pride or fear of social rejection or doubt or trustlessness 'Love' no longer remains love but turns out to be convenience. Arelationship of convenience lasts only till it is manageable. Leagal recourse only brings bitterness in life as the more you try to implicate other, the other person will try to implicate you too. I mean to say that our judiciary has not been able to deliver justice to many because of people who falsify and distort the fact. Since total submission is absent with both of you it is my humble advice to forget and start a new begening.