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debasish (Business)     27 April 2009


I am a government servant earning salary around Rs. 25000 p.m and married a girl after having an affair of nine years. Before marriage I specifically told her to leave her job. She is also a service holder in a public corporation earning a salary of Rs.10000 p.m and has the benefit of GPF and pension. After lot of discussion she agreed to the proposal but sought one month time to leave the job. She has given her consent in writing.
I loved and trusted her very much and also gave her a sum of Rs.1,80,000 at her request just before marriage. The amount was paid through six different A/C payee cheques. Out of this she invested Rs.80000 in fixed deposit in her own name. But just after marriage she denied to leave the job. Her father also warned me with abusive words regarding leaving of job infront of her and she was completely silent. He also told me not to go his house and did not keep any communication with me.
She started non-co-operation in the house with me but was very much cordial to my parents. She also portrayed a bad image of mine to her own relatives. She started lying and also made negative remarks to my parents against me. Sometimes I also used abusive words to her because of her false statements, tempering truth and adamant attitude.
One day she left the house with five months child and leaving separately for last one year in her relative’s house. She spent only 14 months with me after marriage. Now she widely disseminated the news of physical and mental torture among her relatives, office colleagues and also in her micro society. She has shown some marks in her fingers and legs also. Regarding torture she has one medical report also. After leaving my house she has taken one month leave from her office on medical ground. Her allegation is against me only and till now not against my parents.
My parents and other relatives went to her place several times for negotiation but they were not interested to discuss anything. But they also did not protect them see my little child. . They used to tell that one day she may go. Now she is not mentally prepared and they can’t force her. They also did not talk about divorce. They did not file any police case or court case in last one year. They also did not come to enquire the matter or made any phone call for reconciliation. I sent ten registered letters for coming home back and inform me about the condition of my child and allow me to visit her. But she did not give any reply. But she has signed the A/D card. I sent money order three times of Rs. 2000 each but she returned the money. I gave one account payee cheque of Rs.20,000 which she did not encash.
I could see my own child only once in last one year but my wife did not come and talk to me.

1.     How can be saved from 498A and other related act and sections?
2.     What is the validity of such case if she will file case of physical and mental torture after one year ?
3.     If I file a divorce case, then can she file 498A and other related act and sections?
4.     What is the maximum amount of alimony and child support  in my case and what about child custody and visitation?
5.     Should my parents and other relatives go there again just to see their grand daughter and keep touch with them?
6.     Whether I should inform any authority that she has left the house with my child and staying separately for one year?
7.     How can we make them agree to seat in a discussion on this issue?
8.     Should I continue to send letters and money orders every month?
9.     How should I proceed to settle the issue amicably with no further tension?
10.     what should be my investment and financial planning at present?


 21 Replies

Swami Sadashiva Brahmendra Sar (Nil)     27 April 2009

Dear sir !

You should file a petition for restitution of conjugal rights.


dear debashish

do an attempt for concilliation through the relatives of your spouce . In case your attempt does not become fruitfull make another attempt through her friends circle then office circle. if every atempt fails then file an application with the wing of local police and N.G.Os. specially authorised to settle the family disputes. ( as formed in punjab) Otherwise file the proceedings under section 9 of hindu marriage act for restitution of conjugal rights . I think your matter will be solved when she will have to face the society the false whim of your wife shall vanish. 



































debasish (Business)     27 April 2009


please see my post carefully.  I am frustrated. They neither talk about reunion nor about divorce.  Her relatives make it point that there was physical and mental torture as told by their girl. But they did not come to us to know the matter or they did not make any complaint to appropriate authority. They even did not make any phone calls.

How can i prove that there was no torture at all?

What is my plus and minus points if they file a case of torture after living separately for one year?

Ganapathi (Service)     28 April 2009

HI its ganesh here, i have one problem of my friends, Her name is preeti she was married with her boy friend on court before one year but yet they are staying together due to the force from male;s parents they are telling that they will re marriage them as  a ceremony, but they are still post ponding the date of marrage, but i just wanna t know about that if they will sue agains the girl for divorce bcos they are not staying together so please guide me on this matter, and please help the girl to get strong at her end thanks

Swami Sadashiva Brahmendra Sar (Nil)     28 April 2009

does he apprehends divorce before marriage?

Rajesh Kumar (Advocate)     28 April 2009

In case of Debashish, your wife wants divorce, which he doesnt want.

Offer her divorce on mutual consent. If they dont respond to your communication, send her a notice of divorce for desertion & cruelty (not allowing to meet your child). If they dont respond, file a case for divorce, you may get it uncontested.

debasish (Business)     29 April 2009

Respected Lawyer friends,

Here local lawyer told me to follow the wait and watch policy.

They suggested me not to move first. Otherwise  a series of cases may be filed against you. Their opinion is that the long silience from the girl's side and and spreading the news of torture in the society is not a good signal.

Local lawyers are concerned about two points -

1) Had there been real torture from Husband then why did not they go to court or other authorities for long one year?

2) Had there been real torture from Husband then why did not they go to husband's place and ventilate their anger for long one year?

3) Without following the about two steps which are quite logical why do they spreading the news of torture in the society?

Please reply whether these are valid points and will go in my favour ultimately

debasish (Business)     29 April 2009

Local lawyer suggested me to follow the wait and watch policy. He suggested me not to move first. he warned me if i move first there may be a series of cases against me.

Local lawyer is concerned about following points

1) Had there been real torture then why did not they go to appropriate authority for long one year?

2) had ther been real torture why did not they go to husband's place and ventilate their anger?

Whether this will go in my favour?

 what are the plus and minus points in my case?




KV Bhashyam Chari (Advocate & Legal Advisor)     29 April 2009

Dear Debashish,

What I understand is that your better half has betrayed you and you claim that she is trying to frame you under the offence brutality & torture so that at appropriate time, she can sue you criminally.  I also under stand that at this point in time, no such criminal complaint or other wise has been preferred by your wife.


If the above is correct, then all the more important that you should take initiative first and file petition in family court for restitution of your conjugal rights.  Consequent to your filing, if at all your better half comes up with any criminal complaint, you will have every opportunity to state that your wife's action is an after thought motivated with malicious intentions. 

Hence, it is suggested that you convey to the local lawyer accordingly.


KVB Chari

Advocate & Legal-cum-Management consultant


N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     29 April 2009

Go for RCR: That is the best solutions and also to turn the table against her if she doen not complied with that.

sanjay singh thakur (advocate)     01 May 2009

I fully agree with Mr. KVB Chari.

debasish (Business)     01 May 2009



debasish (Business)     05 May 2009


debasish (Business)     07 May 2009



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