Ok guys.. I appreciate your replies.. need to make somethings clear here:
Corrections on my past: I did try to talk my wife to goto a relationship councellor and a s*x therapist.. she avoided both for years, and only agreed to do so after all this fell apart.. too little too late..
I understand i did make the mistake of pursuing a relationship with a girl when i was legally not supposed to.. but that was the level of my frustration.. that i put my gf thru more trouble than she deserved.
I dont intend to put her thru the societal humiliation that a 'live-in' would cause her, we really love each other and she has stood by me thru this thick and thin, and I wont be in my right or doing her love any justice if i drag her into a live in.
As of now she is completely out of the picture, while i try to convince my wife to go for a mutual seperation so we can move on with our respective lives.. because this has become so hollow that there is nothing in this
BUT, in the worst case scenario, that I do fail.
1. firstly i'm looking for some thoghts on how to fight this divorce in a contested way,
2. what potential legal harm can it bring to my gf if i fight a contested divorce
3. what legal protection can she get from persecution, under various criminal/civil cases that my wife and her family can put against her if any.