Hi,
I have been married to my wife since August 2008. We were living together in the US since Nov 2004. I
paid for her education and worked with her to get her a career, as she desired one. Our relationship
was already deteriorating since 2006 as her focus increasingly became her life, her job and not me,
and as a last chance to try and fix it we decided to get married, however it only got worse. We
couldnt communicate and our outbursts were increasingly getting more public. On top of that we were
unable to have physical relations due to some problem she had. I came back to India due to the
recession, and was looking for a job, however she wanted to stay in the US as she was working. I
never relied on her income for anything, and was also supporting her family from my income and
savings. I come from a wealthy family and my parents were always supporting us financially.
When I came back to India, in April 2009, I was already very concerned about our relationship
breaking down. I had planned a get together for us and both families when she would come back to
India for our first anniversary. I was financially strained but I was doing my best to find work,
working with my father in delhi part time and also doing small consulting assignments in delhi. Since
she was alone in US, I asked my MIL to go and stay with her for sometime. During this time, my
father's business was also not working out, and I was still struggling to get my feet wet in India.
One day in mid june by accident I found out that she had planned a trip for her sisters to US to
watch a tennis match, and didnt even bother to tell me about it. When I confronted her she flat out
lied to me, and after a lot of arguement I have had enough. I told her it was over for me, and I
cannot live with someone who is dreaming of vacations when I and my family are struggling. I told her
I wanted out of this relationship. She kept insisting and even lied to my parents about her
intentions with her sisters, however eventually after a lot of pressure she cancelled the trip, but
it was too late for me. I was already struggling with our relationship and this was the last blow.
She came to delhi in August, and I told her that I wanted out of the marraige. She refused and kept
asking me for another chance to make this work. I was at my end, as I've known her for 10 years, and
lived with her for 8, and I was convinced that I cannot make a future with a person like her. Good or
bad, we didnt work out. I was emotionally, and phsically isolated from her and removed from the
relationship. I kept telling her it wouldnt workout and gave her enough reasons not to andrequested
her to move on and let me move on.
She didnt give me an answer, and went back to US, where she decided to wrap her job up and come back
to India. While she was doing this, I clearly mentioned to her that I cannot give her the life she
desires and it would serve no purpose for her to quit her job. She came back in december 2009 and our
problems still persisted, and our relationship, emotional and physical became non existent.
During this time I met another person, who was very compatible with me and despite both our
intentions, we got involved in a relationship (emotional not physical). I didnt know how to tell my
parents or her, so I kept it hidden. But since I was neither phyically intimate nor emotionally
intimate with my wife, it came out in the open. Since then my father has taken my wife's side, and
has been trying to convince me to come back to the marriage. Additionally, my wife has tried to
defame the other woman by manipulating my father's emotions. I still stuck to my stand that I would
like to seperate from my wife and move on with my life. The other woman is also stating that she
wants to be with me. I stopped meeting her and speaking to her for 6 months now, trying to convince
my wife for a mutual seperation as our relationship was over. However, my wife wont agree to a mutual
divorce, and is indirectly thru my father is threating legal action against me and the woman I care
for. This has been going on for a year and a half now, and I am more or less fed up. I tried my way,
to sort this out in a mutually agreeable way, and not get into prolonged conflicts. She has finally said that she will give me a divorce only if i agree that I will not be in a relationship with the other woman.
I need advise on how to go about getting a contested divorce from my wife, without agreeing to her condition, and also understand what all legal action she can take to hurt me or the woman I want to be with. Also need to understand if she can legally prevent me from being with the other woman in any way to grant the divorce.
