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richard_123 (self)     28 December 2011

Wife wants divorce but i dont


I am in need of help. My wife and I dated for 8-9 years(mostly long distance) and we got married last year in feb 2010 according to special marriages act, since I am a catholic and she is from a different religion. Since we started living together, we were fighting everyday. She is quite dominating and short tempered and that was the main reason.It got to a point that in June 2011, this year ( I transfered our house in Mumbaiin her name and also the loan amount coz she used to help me when i was studying MBA and now she wanted the money back. We were both jointly paying home loan in equal amonts since March 2010.) I started living seperately since June end this year. I thought, if we both give each other space, it wil help.

She now says she wants a divorce, I do not want to divorce her and want us to first go to a marriage counsellor and sor out our issues. She is not wiling to do that.. If I refuse her a divorce,can she file for a divorce and stil get it?

Pls help me out here somebody.

Thanks in Advance.




 12 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     28 December 2011

Your idea to see a marriage councellor is good and sensible, stick to it and try to convince your wife for that. If she files for divorce, she will have to prove the grounds for that and you can fight out the case. Even the court will send both of you for councelling.

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You are probably lucky man in India, you are saying she is Dominating & Short tempered then you must think how you will able to spend your remaining life with her. She’s found to be Independent & Working women, May be she didn’t find perfect with you and wants to leave you. In Short Choosing Career over relations. Still if you think you can make. Just Consider the Words below of Supreme Court i.e. Wife is Always Right – SC

Some useful tips given by the Supreme Court, the most important being: "Do what the wife tells you and never question her authority."

The words of wisdom came from two 'Bhuktbhogi' judges -- Justices Markandey Katju and Deepak Verma -- during the inconclusive hearing of a 17-year-old divorce litigation between a serving Lieutenant Colonel and his wife.


"You should always agree with her. When you agree to what she says, you will always remain happy. If she tells you to look this way, do that. And if she tells you the next moment to look the other way, again do that," Justice Katju said.

for Complete Article Google it, Wife is Always Right Says SC

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The Truth is You can't force anyone to live with you
All Rest is Upto you.........and Still if your think she wont agree, go for Mutual Consent Divorce.

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richard_123 (self)     29 December 2011

haha! Ive read that. Looks like woman now have legal sanction to dominate us!

richard_123 (self)     29 December 2011

@adv_archana- Im trying my best to convience her but she says a lot of bad blood has flown between us over the past year or so that it will be impossible to continue.

What I wanted to know is that if she files for divorce,I disagree and the judge sends us for counselling.the counsellor gives a report stating that there's no chance of reconcilliation. Will the judge pass an order in her favour then, despite my objecting to  a divorce?

Also, is there any legal manner, apart from divorce where in my wife is ordered to go for counselling with me?


My Friend..Why did you transfer your residence on wife's name ?? I think its big mistake on your front.

Now you would lose on both front..residence and wife..

If you dont agree to wife's wish..she might say about filing of DV and 498A cases and makes you run around the court..better to find amicable solution and part ways.. I have seen many incompatible couples in my life ..they just cant stand each other and sufferer would be husband's family, husband and kids (if any)..


Call is yours..


richard_123 (self)     29 December 2011


She was convinced that Im after her money. She comes from a very affluent family and I come from a middle class background. she was earning more than me. I was frustrated by her alligations and hence transfered the house. She can keep the house, I dont want the house.Btw, having known her for 11years, I dont think she'll file DV and 498A cases...

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     29 December 2011

The report of the councellor is not binding upon the court, your wife will nevertheless have to prove the grounds on which she files for divorce then only the court will pass judgment in her favor. Apart from court you can try mediation of common friends, relatives to convince her.

1 Like



I was in a very similar situation,except that I did not write off our property to her. Case was abt her infidelity and I tried to, with a heavy heart , take the high road of going to counselling.

My Indian wife/better half ( mother of 2 kids) was caught sleeping with a married Chinese man( father of 2 kids). 

Counselling did not work but DONT GIVE UP. Try everything that you can - get neighbors, friends, priest etc etc to give their perspective of divorce. She may see some wisdom. Give her some time and some space to reflect back on the long term repurcussions. 

If after all the above, she doesnt co-operate, she is having an affair. In my case, nothing was working because I never knew of the affair until it was too late.

When IT market crashed in US, I was working average 14 hours for 7 days. For over 6 months, I did not make time for my family. She wanted her outlet so she experimented and it took her too far.

Try to understand root cause. Work things out and if she is still adamant abt the divorce, there is something you do not know about her.  

For now, try to tow her line- agree to the divorce but ask for time, continue to co-habit. Give reasons of finding accomodation, settling finances etc for delaying the case. In the background, get the house wired up, tap the home computer - find out what is going on when you are not around. Look thro cell phone records. Find out if there is someone other than you in her life. Collect evidence. Start making logs, report matter to your counsellor. The Indian laws dont permit men to file DV on women, but you can collect evidence to file protective order and get her out of the house.

Insulate and protect yourself. 


Hemant Sharma (Group Manager)     20 January 2012



Dear Archana, your advice is the most sincere one...I have a similar case, however, the problem is that my in-laws have been boycotted by the entire society including relatives as well...hence in my case, I am unable to find someone who can most probably try to settle the misunderstanding...I have already posted in my latest topic...will really appreciate if you may kindly is under the marriage and divorce...both the sections...the topics are 'Confused what wife wants' and 'Divorce confusion'.

richard_123 (self)     24 February 2012

Hi Adam,

I dont wanna sound to be too over confident and claim that she would never have an affair but yes, you might be right. She might be having an affair with someone else. Unfortunately, I am not staying in that house, I transfered it in her name and moved out about 8 months ago. Do you think hiring a detective will help?


richard_123 (self)     11 September 2012

Hi all, Its been almost 9 months now since I posted this but things are still the same. She doesnt talk to me at all and her parents and brothers say that they will follow whatever she wants, which is a divorce and they keep calling up me and my parents for a divorce by mutual consent. I really love her a lot and I am very sorry for hurting her, although we are both at fault, I own up everything. I even spoke to her brother and repented for hurting them. I am also going to meet her parents who live in Chandigarh and say sorry.I am willing to do anything, sign in any court of law to get her back. Someone mentioned that ask the courts for mediation, how do I do that?

She and her family will not file 498A or any other harassement case against me. They are nice people. They want a divorce by mutual consent and I want her back.... pls help. How do I get her to court sponsored mediation?


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