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aaggarwal (Manager)     09 December 2014

Wife is harassing me by saying she will commit suicide

I have been married for 16 years and have 2 lovely children. We had been living a very happy married life but a few months back my wife had an affair with an unmarried guy and now she is behaving abnormally at home. She is not taking care of household work anymore nor is taking good care of the children. She is also not sleeping with me anymore but is living in the same house.

I have never hit her, never demanded dowry and have always fulfilled all her needs. She is not working although she is highly qualified. I have never asked her to work or not to work. It was always her choice.

The other guy got engaged yesterday and is getting married in 3 months. My wife is still not ready to forget him nor is he ready to forget her.

I Love my wife very much and do not want to lose her, but at the same time also want her to be the same old Loving and Caring wife and mother.

Now whenever I ask my wife to forget him or to do any household work she says she will commit suicide or go somewhere without informing anyone if I ask anything from her. I am worried that if she does anything like this then her parents may blame me and I will be in legal trouble.

Please let me know what precautions I should take to not get into legal trouble in case she does anything like this?


 13 Replies

harrassed (SE)     09 December 2014


If you love your wife so much, try for the marriage counselling. Experts can definitely help in these kind of situations. 

From legal safety point of view, please look out for answers from experts.

Good Luck.

aaggarwal (Manager)     09 December 2014

Thanks harrassed for the advice.

I am already going for counseling but my wife has refused to go to the counselor!

harassed by 498a (Engineer)     09 December 2014

Start collecting evidences immediately about her behaviour before she starts filing false cases against you. I know it is extremely difficult to do like this for the person you love but come out of the illusion and be brave and think about legal safety as women can go to any extreme and law has given them every weapon to abuse/assault a man.

Coming to the personal point, think if you have done any mistake and if there is no mistake from your side please be brave and gather courage to stop loving your wife and take care of your children well.



You have great kindness towards your wife !..She is taking advantage of that.

If she is not ready to attend counselling and not willing to stop such nonsense .gather evidence and show her the way out of this marriage .  To test water give her divorce notice on cruelty grounds of denying s*x , not attending kids etc. (not on adultry grounds to keep the marriage live).

Your wife will not approach law , as she has commited mistake . You too cant approach law , as she is with you , anyways . 

Your wife is highly qualified , she is aware of what she is doing !!! .  Try to address her problem with known friends and relative.



Sivaram (SE)     09 December 2014

I am not finding any reason to love her. Is love that blind?


You are like so soft. That is why she is behaving like that. Do not spoil your kids life. 


Start collecting proofs immediately and get ready to send her to women rescue home.


Give a written complaint to legal team after collecting proofs. She is in horse mode and got attracted to some other person. She won't listen.


Call her parents and you do not ask any thing, first give a complaint with proofs and send her to rescue home or to her parents home.


She may kill you. Please be careful.


To collect proofs, the time she blackmail you is the right time.

aaggarwal (Manager)     09 December 2014

Thanks! What should I do right now to protect myself legally from harassment if she commits suicide or leaves home without telling anyone?

harrassed (SE)     09 December 2014

I have heard of recording the incident in local police station. May be you can contact local police station and file this information. I'm not really sure if this is effective way but at least you can try.


Good Luck.

SuperHero (Manager)     09 December 2014

·        If she threatens you of Suicide. It is better you inform everyone(Parents, Neighbors, Friends, Relatives and in Police station)

·        Suicidal tendencies are because of depression and they are not mentally strong.

·        If a wife attempts suicide the First Suspect would be the Husband.

·        I would suggest relocating to a different city all together. So change in environment may help you.

·        Start collecting the evidences meaning recording the conversations, which will help in Future.


·        HOPE all will be well.

aaggarwal (Manager)     11 December 2014

Thanks Everyone for your advice.

@Superhero: I do not want to spread this to everyone right now in the hope that everything will get OK and she will leave that man soon and then our life will be good.

On the other point of re-locating to another city, I am trying to find a job in other cities and am trying my best to relocate. I am also trying to collect evidence but she is too cautious and does not give me any chance!

@harrased: I have heard that in these cases it is not safe to report to the police as they think you are trying to manipulate the whole situation. Everyone who I am talking to is saying I should collect evidence.

@Sivaram, @Sreekar, @nuttaponnut: I have always depended on my wife for all my emotional and s*xual needs and so I am totally broken now. I think overcoming this is becoming a bigger problem for me now. You seem to be right that I have blind Love for her. :(

SuperHero (Manager)     11 December 2014

 Now you don’t want to spread the news – but if she commits suicide you will be the first person to be suspected.

Then you come to LCI and post that how to get out of this mess.

Everyone gets married by inviting Family, Relatives and Friends because they are witness to your marriage.

Or She may be just threatening you so that you don’t make a big mess.

Also you mentioned she is too cautious and does not give me any chance to collect evidence that means.  Intentionally or willfully she knows what she is doing, which is very wrong and she is intelligent.

God Help them. Think Carefully what you do and do what is needed.


Pray to God with Love and Devotion. 

aaggarwal (Manager)     12 December 2014

Thanks SuperHero! I came to LCI for advice and have definitely got some very good advice.  My wife is definitely intelligent and was the best wife in the world till this incident happened a few months back. :(

I want to still forgive her and believe that this was a one off bad incident and that she will never do this again and will Love my children and me even more as she will know I have forgiven her for a very big mistake. I am also going for Counseling and the Doctor has really helped me from not going mad and doing something that I would have regretted all my life.

Action plan now is: I will record her conversations and try to get confessions from her and the bad guy. Then give them to a good lawyer and also talk to her parents and show them the evidence. (After keeping a backup with me) Hopefully they will be able to put some sense in her. If she does not agree to forget that guy forever then I will file for a divorce using this evidence and get custody of my children and give her minimal one time Alimony as per the court or mutual agreement.

aaggarwal (Manager)     03 March 2015

Finally the whole story is now known to everyone in my family and my wife's family. My family is supporting me and my wife's family is saying I forced her to have relations with the bad guy and so I am to blame. I am filing a divorce case soon. She has told all lies to my 2 sons and made them against me. Please advice on how to get back my lovely sons whom my bad adultrous wife is trying to spoil. She had relations with 2 unmarried guys, both of which I have on video but my sons do not know about her relationships.

Vishnu Kushwaha (Quality)     12 March 2015

Hi Mr Aggarwal

"She had relations with 2 unmarried guys, both of which I have on video" what kind of video are you talking about here?

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