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di (home)     30 March 2014

What kind of divorce

My husband has not shown much interest (he has tried few times but not succeeded) in physical relationship since the time of marriage (more than  5 years ago) and we donot have a child. He acts depressed and doesn't talk to me  if I ask him . The doctors say he is physically fine. He also goes into moods where he is very negative and ignores me and  it affects me mentally (he is very normal with his family members). What kind of divorce can I seek? How much time will it take. He may not give mutual consent.



 15 Replies

Dr J C Vashista (Lawyer)     31 March 2014

If you did not have physical relation during last 5 years of married life, the marriage can be got annulled, non-consumation of marriage is itself a ground for divorce, engage a local lawyer.

di (home)     31 March 2014

Thanks for your answer sir.

How do I prove non-consummation ?

sandykrish (Interested in Family LAW)     31 March 2014

I have a different opinion to the above learned expert. The question in dark which can be exposed by the sesoned lawyer is did both the parties try phychological and Sexpert counselling and what was the result. In my opinion if both the parties are not interested then sit and strike a deal for MCD, otherwise apply for a contested divorce under sec 13 1 cruelty and desertion grounds. Madam please give your complete story and faults from your end so that learned experts can suggest you the right steps. If you self proclaim that you haven't done any mistake then take an appointment with s*xpert ASAP and understand the concept of love making with husband. I'm a Family Law consultant.

di (home)     31 March 2014

I had to force him a lot to go to doctors(many). if he goes, he hardly talks and doesn't do what the doctor says. he is also not at all emotionally attached. Nowdays he acts depressed (he is normal at other times or when with his family) when I bring up the topic or want to seek help, his family members are blaming me for expecting silly things. I expect this is basic right of spouse?

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     31 March 2014

there are three ways to settle your problem.  The first one is that you sit with him with cool mind and discuss thoroughly and come to matured decision of Mutual Consent Divorce, where you both need not to throw mud each other and even need not to raise the issue of impotence and also within 7 to 8 months both will get divorce decree.  Second option is you have to file annulment case, where  in due to impotency of your husband you have to seek annulment.  It will certainly put aspersions on your husband and hence he will contest the case tooth and nail as your success in the case prove him impotent and run-down his status in the society.   This case will run between the two to three years and during the pendency of this case, naturally you will be not allowed / or you yourself feel discomfort to stay at matrimonial home.  The last option is to file divorce case on the ground of 'cruelty', which arises out of continuous denial of s*xual pleasures.  This is also a contested one and takes two to three years and the result of the second and third case depends upon the quality and quantity of evidence produced before the court.

Gautam Kapoor (IT professional Studying Law)     31 March 2014

@di - this is a sensitive issue and can take a ugly form if legal recourse is to be pursued . You need to proved that the marriage is non-consumated wilfuly on his part. If you take the lines of non-consumation due to impotency... it needs to be medically proved for marriage to be annulled. In my honest opinion speak to him one more time and try to convince of your situation.Try to go to good counsellors/therapists.Last resort try to get away peacefully.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     01 April 2014

The purpose of marriage is for procreation, if that cannot happen at all, there is no use in continuing the married life.  Whether impotency is a fact or not, whether it is temporary or permanent, but how long one can wait for the event to turn in favor, five years waiting period is more than the tolerance level.  Best suggestion is to look for a divorce on the grounds of  non-consummation of marriage/non cohabitation for a period more than two years upwards.  No other effort will yield any result especially with the given fact that the husband intentionally avoids conjugal relationship with her.

Gautam Kapoor (IT professional Studying Law)     01 April 2014

The purpose of marriage is for procreation - this is a universal fact. No one denies it. The husband can well aver that he is medically fit by producing his medical certificates.He can counteract saying that it was Di who was resisting his attempts to start a family.How can you blame non-consummation solely on the husband?How will it be proved that husband is one intentionally avoiding conjugal relationship? The contrary could also be true,how can it be ruled out?

EOD,Even if impotency is proved, given the scientific advancements available, his defence may argue that his client in all honesty is trying to mend things (read between the lines) and wants the relation to continue, he needs his wife to be more supportive and needs another couple of years for the relation to bear fruit.

The better way out will be Di's elders to get in touch with  her hubby and sort this out completely.

Dr J C Vashista (Lawyer)     01 April 2014

I endorse the frank opinion and expert advise of Mr. Gautam Kapoor and Mr. T Kalaiselvan, Advocate.

Look before you leap.

Raghav Singh (student)     01 April 2014

5 years is a long span of time. But still i recommend the above suggestions of reconciliation by my learned friends as the same would also be the top most priority of the court once case is put forth before it. 

Having said that still if you want to pursue the litigation option then on the face of the given facts there appears to be the following remedies that can be claimed:

1. Cruelty: Any of the spouses withdrawing themselves from the society of other, not fulfilling any of the marital obligations, acting in total ignorance and having disregard towards the basic necessities and wants of the other spouse and even cold behavior towards the other spouse are good grounds for claiming this ground. 

2. impotency: The ground is marriage could not be consummated. A person due to some psychological or medical reason is not able to do so. it is not necessary that there should always be physical impotency which can always be denied through production of the medical evidence. A person may be medically fit but can suffer from psychological impotency i.e. not able to consummate because of some psychological issue with other spouse, 

Keep in mind before opting for litigation that the burden to prove the above grounds would be on you so you must have clear and cogent evidences to support your claim.

Gautam Kapoor (IT professional Studying Law)     01 April 2014

appreciate what you have written about yourself.CHEERS...

i fimly believe that ' once a laywer enters into this juggernaut sceptic world, he is bound to get dirty; but once he makes an endeavour to chalk out the dirt and subsequently gets out of it, then even god vouches upon his purity.'

Gautam Kapoor (IT professional Studying Law)     01 April 2014

DHARMA..  ADHARMA  AND KARMA.. are the essence in your message.

Gautam Kapoor (IT professional Studying Law)     01 April 2014

which still hold TRUE in this KALYUG.. Cheers mate.. keep you message in true spirit.

Raghav Singh (student)     01 April 2014

Thank you Mr. kapoor for your kind words. You have aptly interpreted it. :)


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