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abcd wxyz (Programmer)     29 July 2014

Should i file for divorce

Hi,

I am really tensed.

My wife and I had a fight in last June 2013.

We called her parents and they took her and my 9 months old daughter with them that night and  told us that they will discuss the matter and settle things.

But days, months passed they started making excuses and pointing out mistakes of me and my parents and something or the other.

Then in December 2013 they finally spoke to us and told that the girl doesn't want to come to the house we were living in and she want to move in other house coz in the old house she doenst have any friends in neighbourhood.

my family agreed but she said that she will still remain at her mother place and will only come once we actulayy go to new house. so we started looking for house in january, but were not able to find for 3 months.. So in march she started fighting with me and stopped meeting me again.

Now things are not looking good. Earlier I was not looking for divorce. 

But now I have lost hope.

Mine was a love marriage. She was clearly not satisfied with the life we were having after marriage.

Now here father is going everywhere in my relatives telling that he has spent X amount of money on marriage.

I have question?

Can her father claim the amount he invested in marriage? What can be the ground of these claims? Bills, marriage videos or testimonies of relatives?

Can I claim custody of my daughter? she will be 2 years old in September 2014? if not can i claim visitation rights every week?

How much alimony can my wife claim? E.g If I earn 50K per months? so what % she is entitled for?

Can my wife claim any right in the property on my father's/mother's name?

 

Please help me I really need advise to decide if i should file for devorce???

Its already been more than 1 years since she has left me. I haven't seen my daughter since 5 months?

I really miss my daughter. Please help me!!!



Learning

 25 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     30 July 2014

1. He cannot claim marriage expenses which is settled Law. 

2. He may include empty Johnny Walker bottle consumed at wedding under wedding expenses and produce his relative as shop keeper who sold the bottle etc. These are common tactics which Father In Law applies which you need not to worry at this stage as you are protected as per para 1.

3. When either party files civil case you may claim for visitation rights by way of separate application.

4. Interim maintenance she may claim if not working for herself / minor. If she is educated and has been earning then the settled law is that she may not get maintenance but for the minor the minor is awarded maintenance which may be around 2-3 K as per the then age of the minor which is read as being co-extensive (shared equally by both working parents). 

5. No share claims she can make on your parents registered properties. 

6. You should opt for divorce when whole situation is out of control and has caused you life and limb harm. Right now the way I see facts, you should press for separate house and try to rekindle matrimonial relationships with wife and minor child instead of running to Court. 

 

[Last reply]

abcd wxyz (Programmer)     30 July 2014

thanks so much for your reply kind sir...

but my family situation does not permit me to seperate from my parents. Both my parents are diabetic.

My father is retired since last 5-6 years.

My mother is a patient od depression since last 10 years.

I am the only earning member of the family my younger brother is still looking for job.

All of the above things were known to my spouse before marriage as we knew each other for for 4-5 years before marriage.

Now she has lost faith in me and I in her. Her mother was never happy with this matrimony and she has big role to play in this whole drama.

She wants dew commitments from me in written which I don't want to do.

As i can't have a relationship which is based on a piece of paper.

My wife is a qualified MBA and diploma in fashion desiging. She is not earning.

So if I earn 50K how much maximum she can ask as maintanence, I am worries as I have  to run this family as well?

Also could I send a notice to her to return to home like conjugal rights or something?

Also please suggest me what preparation I need to do before filing for divorce and on what grounds I can file divorce?

I want to be as genuine as possible so that I may not hurt both of us dignity.

She is already living away from me since 14 months will that help me in any way?

Also she has all the jwellry which we also gave her in marriage, can I claim that back?

sandykrish (Interested in Family LAW)     30 July 2014

Hi,

 

I would suggest you to wait for some more months and see how they react to your silence. The strategy that you have to enforce here is wait and watch with complete silence from your end. See how they react to your dumb silence let them press for legal proceedings since you have already decided for divorce.

I'm rest assured that you wife side will come for some sort of settlement be patient and negotiate for Mutual Consent Divorce and settle the visitation rights as per law the custody of your daughter will be with your wife.

Do not listen to any lawyers who would suggest you to apply for RCR, sometimes there toothless case will yield lot of negatives and may lead to complication to the entire process.

If there are any communicative channel which is open try to close it to expedite the process.

Hope this will help you.

abcd wxyz (Programmer)     30 July 2014

thanks for the reply....

We do not have any communication.

But since we know each other from long ago.

I think we communicate using facebook by liking/sharing qoutes and thoughts of anyone.

As also check her profile everyday and I like to think she will doing that as well.

Do you think I should stop doing that as well..

I think I should dumb silence is what I need..

thanks for the advice...

I hope it works...

Just one last question.. what if she files for any case like dowry or anything before I do???

because I read somewhere that its better for groom to file for devorce before bride files for dowry case???

Dr R SHANMUGA SUNDARAMM (Advocate)     30 July 2014

Better you can file a detailed petition in Lok Adalat. From Lok Adalat (Free legal Aid available in every court). they will send the notice to your wife, then you will have the mutual discussion in Lok Adalat. There are possibilities to settle your issue mutually. else you can leave it for some time. finally you are creating the evidence and in future at the time of Divorce, it was an strong evidence for you.

abcd wxyz (Programmer)     30 July 2014

Sorry sir I am nit able to get you?? Which evidence are you talking about sir?? Also should I file for any notice 1st or wait for her to file anything against me???

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     01 August 2014

In your case divorce from her will be a hasty decision.  This appears to be an outcome of trivial issues which still can be set right.  Nothing has gone beyond control and the present situation especially considering a very infant child's future is bleak over the dispute between its parents, everything if a proper analysation is given, will become alright.  It is ego, ego, ego, which is prevailing and ruining every household these days.  Nobody wants to accept their fault instead are bent upon in blaming the other one which makes the situation from worse to worst.  A little understanding and give and take policy will make everything alright overnight but whose advise is heed by whom?,  Infact the elders of either side instead of convincing their wards are actually adding fuel to the fire instead of taking measures to extinguish the fire.

In your case, you may wait for her return and maintain silence for a period of atleast six months from now on, watch her reactions and developments as a silent spectator, do not get provoked or aroused over her any act against you until it is really detrimental, allow her to go for a round, you will get a clue at the end about how to tackle her and with what weapon.

About maintenance and other aspect, it will be too early to discuss, let she file a petition giving grounds for seeking the same, you can seek the opinion of experts from this  forum at that stage and also about other related issues.


(Guest)

Sometimes I feel very forlorn for those couple who get love marriage but due to egoism and slight misunderstandings enters into the corridors of seperation....

 

1. Reading the post of the author and his replies i can easily presume that he still loves her wife.

Reasoning:

Daily visiting her facebook account and eager to know about her.

 

2. Missing her lovely and chweettt little daughter.

 

3. He is afraid of biased laws and its consequences thats why he is thinking to get her lady love to be rid of via divorce.

 

Conclusion:

 

1. HE IS NOT READY FOR DIVORCE BY HEART BUT BY MIND HE FORCED TO THINK FOR DIVORCE.

 

 

SUGGESTION:

 

1. WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.....N ONLY WAIT. DON'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL IT COMES FROM HER END WHAT SHE WANT.

 

2. BY THIS , YOU WILL COME TO KNOW HOW MUCH SHE had LOVED AND HOW MUCH SHE STILL LOVES YOU or NOT.

 

3. BEING A BILOGICAL FATHER YOU WILL DEFINITELY GET VISITATION RIGHT TILL SHE TURNS 5 YEARS, AFTER THAT YOU CAN AGAIN FIGHT FOR PERMANENT CUSTODY IF YOU WISH SO.

BUT, MY 3rd point WIll not come Into your picture I wish so, as before that you both couple will reunite.

 

pS: After somedays GO AND HAVE A TALK WITH HER DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, SHE WILL 100% Maan jayegi. My heart says.

Agar nai manegi toh phir " just leave her for as good as nothing"

Get Mcd and move on...thats it.

 

With best wishes,

 

ESIS

abcd wxyz (Programmer)     27 August 2014

To Esteemed Experts,

There is a new turn of events in my case. I will try to explain everything here so that you can help me.

My wife and Me are seperated from last June 2013, she is living with her parents.

Till January 2014 i tried my best to bring her back and finally she agreed to meet and put some demands like change of residence and other things to which we agreed and started to look for new house on rent. During this time also she was still living with her parents as she said she will only come in new home.

But as we were not able to find house till April due to which she again fought with me and stopped talking to me.

Also in April or May 2014 I got my wife's and daughter's passport made linked to my name.

Now yesterday night my brother in law who drunk called me and abused me and threatened me to send my whole family to jail.

My wife who was with me facebook un-friend me and earlier her name on the facebook profile was

her name + my first name + my last name

now she changed her name to

her name + her last name

And today her uncle called me demanding about the passport. I have told them to collect tomorrow.

But I really don't know if i should be returning the passport to them or not. Will it be advantageous for me to keep it instead of giving to them??

Our marriage is not registered till date and I think that is the only document proof of our marriage besides the photos and marriage video.

Now I think are planning to take some legal action may be...

I humbly request you all to please take some of your most precious time and read my all previous post for more details. That will really help me... I am really scared as I am only earning memeber of my family and my father is retired and mother is suffering from depression since 10 years.

My father is also slowly going in depression.

 

Please guide me what defensive steps I can take before they file for any notice or complaint.

Dvc498avictim (Otherd)     28 August 2014

Please don't act like child..be a matured man... Since our judicial law is gender biased and no mercy on husbands, you need to go through all sort of mental harrasement one day or the other...looking at your post it looks like she wants to get rid of you but she wants action to be initiated  from you...Start collecting evidences from now onwards which will help you in fighting divorce case...Prepare mentally for DVC and 498a and read posts in this blog and experiences of victims who has gone through the pain including me...Hire a good lawyer who gives you correct advice....

Another Victim (Engineer)     28 August 2014

Experts , Seniors , ESIS,

Dear All,

 

Could anyone please clarify first point or the LAW Tajobsindia talking about 

1. He/She cannot claim marriage expenses which is settled Law. 

Is there any law stating the same.

That a lady cannot claim marriage expenses ??

Some judgements / Law . Please some one let me know  
 

abcd wxyz (Programmer)     28 August 2014

Yes please, could anyone please clarify above doubt of Pankaj Khurana. As my father in law is also trying put pressure on me about the marriage expenses by telling inflated figure in the society. I will never be able to pay that or even 1/4 of that figure. Please help....

(Guest)
Originally posted by : abcd wxyz
Yes please, could anyone please clarify above doubt of Pankaj Khurana. As my father in law is also trying put pressure on me about the marriage expenses by telling inflated figure in the society. I will never be able to pay that or even 1/4 of that figure.
Please help....

People came ate, drank, and shat. Now where did the money actually go?  In the commode !


Ask FIL to go find his money what he spent on the debacle to search in the commode.


Though FIL cannot ask from you the marriage expenses, if they want to finish this off with MCD, then you may well have to cough up money, a decent sum to get your freedom back from the terrorist and the kid.


Dont want MCD, still you will end up paying the same settlement money in part payment monthly.


But if she has left you by her own will n wish, and if you stick to your guns, you need not pay a single rupee to her at all, at the most will need to pay money for the kid.

abcd wxyz (Programmer)     28 August 2014

Thank you sir Helping Hand !

Could you please explain some more please "Dont want MCD, still you will end up paying the same settlement money in part payment monthly."

And yes she has left on her own.

Sir please tell me in details when you say that I stick to my guns - does it means that I don't go for MCD and keep fighting in court or anything else sir??

 

 


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