Not ready for marriage after engagement

Dear Members , This is gautam More , my family is going through one of the problem , my sister 'daughter marriage has been arranged with a boy who woks in one of govt. organization, but after 3 months of engagement now he is not ready for marriage we have almost done all preparation for this marriage which was suppose to be in Nov., but now we are helpless with his decision , can you please suggest us what can be the legal action we can take against him , and the compensation for our prestige in the society /?? Please suggest , it will really help us.... Regards , Gautam More

You please send a legal notice seeking explanation why he is delaying the matter if the reasons are not satisfactory you have right to sue him for damages for loss of reputation of your family nothing else.




Its a lot better to part ways like this.

Forget the engagement.  

Marriage is no joke.

It takes a lot of courage to say NO.  It is good that the boy in question has realised that this is not for him and its better that way.  

Forcing him in any way would be detrimental to lives of both families.  Forget legal course, it will only complicate things further.  

Even if you try to speak with the help of a lawyer, and they agree later due to pressure legally, would it be a good beginning to start married life?  NO.

Though I do not expect you to understand my reply, in cases like these, the ego will be high, there will be self-esteem involved, loss of reputation, no doubt there is loss of dignity in society etc, but look at the larger picture.  Once the thought of not getting married has entered the mind of the boy, there is no use getting em married by hook or crook, it will worsen matters to great lengths. Forget getting compensation from them, how much humiliation you have undergone, they  too would have.  

Just let it go.  Find someone else who is mentally compatible with your sister and get her married, for marriage is all about mental compatibility !.


I would like to add the following.


Even if expenditure has already been done, it can be asked directly to boy's side, failing which legal measures can be thought of.  At all times approach in cool manner, shouting, raising voice, gaali galoch will only invite more trouble to already troubled minds.


dear.gautam. marriage can not be imposed upon any person inlaw. it is not enforciable agreement. however you can recover compensation for money spent for the wrong act of other together with gifts say gold etc also by filing acivil suit-prakashchandra jain advocate indore-09479848437


I agree with the views of above advocates. You can file civil suit for damages for breach of promise ot marriage and you can claim the expenses you incurred by proving sufficient and good documentary proof in addition to the compensation for mental agony and loss of prestige in the society.  The amounts that can be recovered in such damages are well explained in Venkata Narasimha's case (1937 MWN1274).  The way how and what parties are entitled to file such suits are explained in Ramalinga Mudali Vs. Natesha Mudali (Kerala High Court)  - II (1990 DMC 229). 

Senior Partner

1. I differ to opinion and decisions quoted by ld. brother Adv. Chandrasekhar.

2. Hindu Marriage is “not a Contract”. It is minority said otherwise with 'contract' "duties of parties" also comes - right? Then why donot we talk of wife's duty in a marriage as marriage being contract? Hindu law can never be treated as a "contract simplicitor" between two individuals, had it been so couples who draw between them a Notary / Affidavit an end their marriage as divorce would have been upheld by all Courts in India !

3. The correct position is that a Notice may be served on boy’s father and “explanation” sought. If the provided explanation is satisfactory leading the talks to marriage failing then no action needed otherwise make Hindu marriages a ‘Contract’ like Muslim Marriages. 

4. The decisions quoted are not acceptable in present times, moreover the queriest has not said he gave some money and boy’s father accepted it and then broke the talks leading to marriage in Nov. Hence the decision quoted is not applicable here at all. Preparation for marriage and giving / accepting money are totally different. Look at the fate of world’s most famous case of Nisha Sharma where marriage was called off by the boy. 

5. Better, look for another boy and same way boy’s side may look for another suitable girl instead of ending respective youth of parties into Court cases thy name ‘contract’. 

6. Be socially sensible looking into young age of both boy – girl in this brief by throwing them into Court corridors instead one should not force them decisions of some State’s Court case which is surely not at all applicable here. 

7.  I mean there is no prestige in society of boy’s side that means???  

[Last reply]


@gautam...........agree with experts, forget the past and try to move on .........because trying to coerce someone even before the marriage has taken place will have negative implications......

Dy Director

why he is not ready for marriage? Any dowry demand unfilled?

Financial Examiner

Dear Sudhir ji, must u suggest to this family that the only dignified way of exiting the current situation is through a 498a case?

And ruin the reputation of their daughter for sure?


I must admire that u said it in a very eloquent n a suggestive way.


I'm glad the boy was smart enough to leave a gap of time before marriage to get to know the girl or otherwise. Many bad matches can be prevented from becoming bad marriages if the same is done by all couples. 


This dowry demand is an imaginary thing. Why would a boy working in a govt. job ask for dowry? And why would someone even assume that  the boy refused the marriage because there was a dowry demand?

In my case, I refused a marriage proposal because the girl's father offered me dowry even before giving the bio data of the girl. I simply refused even to talk to them.

I married a girl and even paid the expenses of the marriage and my wife filed 498a after 8 years of peaceful marriage claiming in the FIR that i used to torture her mentally and physically for dowry for last 8 years.

She worked with a bank and she left our matrimonial home with more money in her bank account than she earned in her entire carrier, with all the jewelry that my parents and I gifted her, and also all jewelry that I had including my wedding ring, my pokhraj ring which my mother gifted, my gold chain which my mother gifted, my childhood silver coins collection (very large collection) and then she filed 406 case.

When I filed cases and cognizance was taken against my wife in criminal cases including 420 IPC & 406 IPC, they got shocked. Because my wife's lawyer suggested her that she can only file 406 because every jewelry belong to her and I cannot prove that she took it away. And the biggest joke is that she last operated the bank locker.

There are few people in our society who thinks that all the boys ask dowry and all the girls family have the right to file 498a.

This family will also be finally misguided to file a false case under sec 498a to blackmail the innocent family and destroy their lives. 

It has become a business to file 498a after engagement and in this way one can easily target multiple families. God save India.




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