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gautam (xxxxxx)     03 October 2014

Not ready for marriage after engagement

Dear Members , This is gautam More , my family is going through one of the problem , my sister 'daughter marriage has been arranged with a boy who woks in one of govt. organization, but after 3 months of engagement now he is not ready for marriage we have almost done all preparation for this marriage which was suppose to be in Nov., but now we are helpless with his decision , can you please suggest us what can be the legal action we can take against him , and the compensation for our prestige in the society /?? Please suggest , it will really help us.... Regards , Gautam More


 18 Replies

Rangee (Lawyer)     03 October 2014

You please send a legal notice seeking explanation why he is delaying the matter if the reasons are not satisfactory you have right to sue him for damages for loss of reputation of your family nothing else.



Its a lot better to part ways like this.

Forget the engagement.  

Marriage is no joke.

It takes a lot of courage to say NO.  It is good that the boy in question has realised that this is not for him and its better that way.  

Forcing him in any way would be detrimental to lives of both families.  Forget legal course, it will only complicate things further.  

Even if you try to speak with the help of a lawyer, and they agree later due to pressure legally, would it be a good beginning to start married life?  NO.

Though I do not expect you to understand my reply, in cases like these, the ego will be high, there will be self-esteem involved, loss of reputation, no doubt there is loss of dignity in society etc, but look at the larger picture.  Once the thought of not getting married has entered the mind of the boy, there is no use getting em married by hook or crook, it will worsen matters to great lengths. Forget getting compensation from them, how much humiliation you have undergone, they  too would have.  

Just let it go.  Find someone else who is mentally compatible with your sister and get her married, for marriage is all about mental compatibility !.


I would like to add the following.


Even if expenditure has already been done, it can be asked directly to boy's side, failing which legal measures can be thought of.  At all times approach in cool manner, shouting, raising voice, gaali galoch will only invite more trouble to already troubled minds.

prakash chandra jain (proprietor.)     03 October 2014

dear.gautam. marriage can not be imposed upon any person inlaw. it is not enforciable agreement. however you can recover compensation for money spent for the wrong act of other together with gifts say gold etc also by filing acivil suit-prakashchandra jain advocate indore-09479848437

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     03 October 2014

I agree with the views of above advocates. You can file civil suit for damages for breach of promise ot marriage and you can claim the expenses you incurred by proving sufficient and good documentary proof in addition to the compensation for mental agony and loss of prestige in the society.  The amounts that can be recovered in such damages are well explained in Venkata Narasimha's case (1937 MWN1274).  The way how and what parties are entitled to file such suits are explained in Ramalinga Mudali Vs. Natesha Mudali (Kerala High Court)  - II (1990 DMC 229). 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     03 October 2014

1. I differ to opinion and decisions quoted by ld. brother Adv. Chandrasekhar.

2. Hindu Marriage is “not a Contract”. It is minority said otherwise with 'contract' "duties of parties" also comes - right? Then why donot we talk of wife's duty in a marriage as marriage being contract? Hindu law can never be treated as a "contract simplicitor" between two individuals, had it been so couples who draw between them a Notary / Affidavit an end their marriage as divorce would have been upheld by all Courts in India !

3. The correct position is that a Notice may be served on boy’s father and “explanation” sought. If the provided explanation is satisfactory leading the talks to marriage failing then no action needed otherwise make Hindu marriages a ‘Contract’ like Muslim Marriages. 

4. The decisions quoted are not acceptable in present times, moreover the queriest has not said he gave some money and boy’s father accepted it and then broke the talks leading to marriage in Nov. Hence the decision quoted is not applicable here at all. Preparation for marriage and giving / accepting money are totally different. Look at the fate of world’s most famous case of Nisha Sharma where marriage was called off by the boy. 

5. Better, look for another boy and same way boy’s side may look for another suitable girl instead of ending respective youth of parties into Court cases thy name ‘contract’. 

6. Be socially sensible looking into young age of both boy – girl in this brief by throwing them into Court corridors instead one should not force them decisions of some State’s Court case which is surely not at all applicable here. 

7.  I mean there is no prestige in society of boy’s side that means???  

[Last reply]

fighting back (exec)     03 October 2014

@gautam...........agree with experts, forget the past and try to move on .........because trying to coerce someone even before the marriage has taken place will have negative implications......

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     03 October 2014

why he is not ready for marriage? Any dowry demand unfilled?

CompelledToLearnLaw (Financial Examiner)     04 October 2014

Dear Sudhir ji, must u suggest to this family that the only dignified way of exiting the current situation is through a 498a case?

And ruin the reputation of their daughter for sure?


I must admire that u said it in a very eloquent n a suggestive way.


I'm glad the boy was smart enough to leave a gap of time before marriage to get to know the girl or otherwise. Many bad matches can be prevented from becoming bad marriages if the same is done by all couples. 

498A-filed (Advisor)     05 October 2014

This dowry demand is an imaginary thing. Why would a boy working in a govt. job ask for dowry? And why would someone even assume that  the boy refused the marriage because there was a dowry demand?

In my case, I refused a marriage proposal because the girl's father offered me dowry even before giving the bio data of the girl. I simply refused even to talk to them.

I married a girl and even paid the expenses of the marriage and my wife filed 498a after 8 years of peaceful marriage claiming in the FIR that i used to torture her mentally and physically for dowry for last 8 years.

She worked with a bank and she left our matrimonial home with more money in her bank account than she earned in her entire carrier, with all the jewelry that my parents and I gifted her, and also all jewelry that I had including my wedding ring, my pokhraj ring which my mother gifted, my gold chain which my mother gifted, my childhood silver coins collection (very large collection) and then she filed 406 case.

When I filed cases and cognizance was taken against my wife in criminal cases including 420 IPC & 406 IPC, they got shocked. Because my wife's lawyer suggested her that she can only file 406 because every jewelry belong to her and I cannot prove that she took it away. And the biggest joke is that she last operated the bank locker.

There are few people in our society who thinks that all the boys ask dowry and all the girls family have the right to file 498a.

This family will also be finally misguided to file a false case under sec 498a to blackmail the innocent family and destroy their lives. 

It has become a business to file 498a after engagement and in this way one can easily target multiple families. God save India.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     05 October 2014

It is the author who has to say that whether dowry demand was there or not. 


One cannot presume its existence and one cannot presume its absence. 


On this forum there had been threads where boys admit having demanded dowry and harassed wife and there are girls who admit having filed false case. A spectrum contains all colours.


Simply because one is Govt servant he does not become holy cow that he will not demand dowry and simply if someone is from other profession that does not mean that he will demand dowry.


Simply because large No of persons have faced misuse of dowry law that does not mean that the crime does not exists. There are dowry demanders in society who have compelled framing of such laws. It is unfortunate that real victims keep off while innocent persons face misuse.


It is the author only who knows whether he is or he is not victim of dowry demand.


If there is no dowry demand then this forum members do not like to advise filing false case.  But if there is dowry demand then the law should be used in fit case. 


498A-filed (Advisor)     05 October 2014

When there is a dowry exchange in marriage, both sides are at fault. I have not seen even a single family going to jail for giving dowry. Fathers of less educated and less capable girls wants to marry their daughter to a doctor or an IAS by paying dowry and then they claim dowry harassment. 


I hope a time will come when boys will start filing cases if someone is even willing to pay dowry. Then I will see what people advice to these boys.


I hope that this mindset that a 498a filer is a holy cow changes one day.


You asked whether there was a dowry demand or not but you did not ask whether the boy found out about the girl's past boyfriends or not. Or may be he found out that she had already filed a couple of 498a cases and blackmailed a couple of families. You did not even ask whether the boy found out about some medical history of the girl or about some criminal record of the girl.


You only wanted to know whether he asked for dowry as if the girl is a holy cow because she is a girl. God save India.

CompelledToLearnLaw (Financial Examiner)     05 October 2014

Dear Sudhir ji, I have full respect for u. Thank you for donating ur time. Please keep on doing it as much as possible. Legally, u r alsolutely right. But u know what the ground reality is: a lawyer’s next suggestive question will be, “have their family members who have never spoken to u, who r not in India, also tortured u for dowry?” An angry future father-in-law will kill the boy if it was legal. So I doubt his answer would be a no. That’s the ground reality.


Brother 498A-filed, do not feel so sorry for urself. I’ve read of a case, at another site, where a girl who was an HIV positive was married to a naive soul. When he found out n took her to the in-law’s home, he was nicely hit with a 498a. I mean the boy could’ve been infected with HIV! So ur situation is not as bad. Always look at the positive in life. What if she poisoned u? 498a is a walk in the park compared to death.


But brother, it is a legal forum. Not emotional. Learned Sudhir Kumar is right.

498A-filed (Advisor)     05 October 2014

I am fighting a similar case of a friend whose wife is carrying a similar decease which was  heridartery and the girl's family hid it from the groom side. The decease was discovered when the wife got pregnant.

Some incompetent lawyer advised the husband to file for divorce instead of annulment of marriage despite knowing the facts of the case  and he also did not advice the husband  to initiate a criminal case. He was on provisional bail when he came to me.

I helped him file a private complaint criminal case against the FIL, MIL and his wife. I will get his bail confirmed very soon and also send the entire family to jail and get his divorce without alimony and he will also get the kid.

Interesting fact is his own cousin sister filed a dowry case against her husband and i helped that husband to secure bail. Impressed by my effort, this guy contacted me for help. The girl was asking for 1 crore to take back cases and for giving divorce and now we are asking 2 crores for  the MCD. The girl wants to remarry and she is now stuck with the cases. We have filed for quashing of his parents and once it is done then we will file a case of criminal defamation against the girl and her family. It will be fun.

Some biased people only see law from one angle. There are lot of cases which can be filed against the wife.

CompelledToLearnLaw (Financial Examiner)     23 October 2014

Correction in regards to my comment here about 498a: in this case 498a can not be filed since the boy never became a husband. DP3 & DP4 will be applicable. 

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