I am here for the last time.. I have posted my question many times and got atleast 10 diff answers. Can anyone very experienced and in a genuine interest to help me please reply ASAP?
I (south indian) married my first cousin (dad's brother's son) on Aug 2008 as per Hindu Marriage Act. Our parents didnt know about that, the registrar had ultimately no idea,he even said since cross-cousin marriage (mom's brother or dad's sister's kids) is legal in South India parallel cousin(my case) is very well legal and just got money and registered our marriage. No one to be blamed,its just us who should have checked out,we just thot as the same as the registrar told me until after some couple of days we discovered about it. PAST HAS PASSED..now in future/present I have many problems cropping up.
I took a dependant visa for him to USA (i am the primary visa holder) and he came over to live with me for sometime,their parents got ill so he had to make frequent trips to India. MEanwhile my parents knew that we were in love so want us to split us apart they played all types of games to make me come out of it.We both have never been together for 1 month as a stretch,we are always in a confused state.
My father is the primary villain for my life and he swears to challenge me in court if he finds out that we are together.He keeps threatening for honour kill,emotionally blackmails for dying,put him in jail for coming in my visa etc etc., hell a lot u will never imagine.I don't blame him but its high time he understand that I am a grown up and can take decisions on my own.
My mom just wants me happy,she says if you can legalize this marriage then just go somewhere and live happily.I am 30 yrs now (loving since my 22 yr) and all these years I am still talking with my parents trying to work things out and convince them just because I love my parents too and I wish they atleast let us live in peace without any legal problems now i am damn tired of what my dad is trying.
Our love is 8 yrs strong, and we know by custom hindus oppose it and there should be a reason.We hardly care for that reason, we have even thot of just adopting a child instead of making the child suffer to eradicate the birth defects risk. So as you see we love each other crazy to go till the world's end to stand together.
So PLEASE PLEASE DON'T ADVICE US TO BE APART.
Please answer each question below since its very important to me.
1. I read a blog recently with a Delhi court judgement to a person (who is himself a judge) married to his first cousin after converting to Christian. Here is the link..
Now can we convert to Christian and marry each other again(note we are already married under hindu marriage act) so as to be on a stronger side if my father challenges my marriage. If he challenges can the advocate quote this judgement as an example and make us legal? If not WHY?
2. I am tired of living in a secret, I didn't murder anyone,or caused harm to anyone except may be emotional harm to my dad & mum so why do i have to live like this? Please tell me one good way of legalizing my marriage. May be a divorce and then marry him again in some other country who accepts this kind of relationship(even 14 states in USA legalizes this marriage), what do u think?
MY LIFE IS A LIVING HELL , I CANT LEAVE HIM,I CANT BETRAY MY PARENTS BUT I AM DOING BOTH :( ..ITS SO PAINFUL I JUST WANT TO LIVE WITH HIM AND IF POSSIBLE CONVINCE MY PARENTS ATLEAST BEFORE THEY OR ME DIE SO I HAVE TO HURRY I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT.
I WANT TO TAKE A DECISION BEFORE EVERYTHING IS OUT OF CONTROL.
PLEASE TAKE SOME TIME TO ANSWER RIGHT.