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Near to divorce

Page no : 2

Saurav (Engineer)     14 May 2015

Live your life.

 

Forget her.

 

Get a new girl. Kid you can manage with the new girl if she is a good person.

 

Forget her. Even forget about the divorce. Let her chase you if she needs the divorce.

 

If she files case against you for bigamy let her do that.......it is her prerogative to prove the case.....let her spend money and time to prove this .

Biswanath Roy (Advocate)     14 May 2015

Dear Author,

I reiterate  your property cannot be claimed by your deserted wife.  Secondly, it is surprising how such a malady occured in a  love marriage?  It was your fault that you could not understand the nature and habit of your wife at the time of your so called love. Was it a s*x attraction what you said as 'love'. Real love is a tie between two hearts which neither disrespect nor displease each other. Now after enjoying your lover you are blaming she shouts and shows some other bad behaviour etc.etc. Without knowing her habit and nature why you married her and gave birth of a baby? As a gentleman can you deny your fault which was occured at the begining?

richardjohnson   14 May 2015

Originally posted by : T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate

There is no danger to your flat as of now and there is no law that can authorise your wife to snatch the flat from you for the reason that she is your wife.  At the most she can claim right to residence, but for that she has to come and stay with you or in that particular house which she claims to  be her matrimonial house. If she is not at all willing to live with you anymore, there are no chances for that, in any case there is no danger for the house property to go away from your hand, you can be rest assured about this.  Further, if she is not interested to live with you anymore, you can ask her to sign the papers for mutual consent divorce, if she refuses to do so, you can make her to listen to the music namely divorce case on the grounds of cruelty and desertion against her.  First send her a legal notice asking her to return to your home, if she does not reply or if she declines through her reply, you may adopt either of the step suggested above.


I agree with him. She cannot get your flat just because she is your wife and if she will do it then she will stay in the flat with you. Therefore, you cannot lose your flat.

Rajiv Seth (Manger)     16 May 2015

Hi Roy Sir, yes you are right I am feel that I did wrong for Kid. He has to suffer because of our bad relation. I wish I could raise him he is now 4yrs old. But, about marriage I would say no. I have not done wrong thing. We were into relationship for 10yrs before marriage. Yes we were physical before marriage so it means physical attraction or necessity was already fulfilled. I married because I don’t want to ditch her and don’t want to break her heart coz she didn’t done anything wrong before marriage. So if I left her I could feel guilty for whole life. I am god fearing person and never like to hurt anyone. I know that death is the biggest truth. So I took name of god and married her. No matter it went completely wrong. But this is what life is all about. We made mistakes and then realise. Again I am very concerned about my kid. He should get equal love and care. I don’t know how to make sure of that. But I am ready to sacrifice my peace for him. But if my wife makes mess for my mother then I could not bear that.

Biswanath Roy (Advocate)     16 May 2015

As a veteran married and old man I am reluctant to agree with the term'Love' as unification of two opposite minds of two opposite genders which are in vogue in present generation. The fact lying behind is merely attraction to opposite s*x and beauty and presentation of personal behaviroul attitude.  It appears that you are sufficiently intelligent and ethical but sorry to say not tactful and tricky. Why you didn't indoctrinate your wife when the differences were cropped up and your wife did not want to reside with your mother saying that your flesh, bones and blood are the body parts of your mother's  body biologically and medically which you love and had been enjoyed so far then what's the wrong to live with the mother?  Besides you also could say "if it happens in your son's life in future can it be accepted/tolerated by you?" In fact you failed to mould her reminding that marriage is a secred tie between a man and woman which needs mutual sacrifice, better understanding , faith upon each other and adjustment for happiness.  Even now also you can make an attempt for reunion as a last chance before permanent sepertaion by filing Divorce..

Saurav (Engineer)     16 May 2015

Originally posted by : Biswanath Roy
As a veteran married and old man I am reluctant to agree with the term'Love' as unification of two opposite minds of two opposite genders which are in vogue in present generation. The fact lying behind is merely attraction to opposite s*x and beauty and presentation of personal behaviroul attitude.  It appears that you are sufficiently intelligent and ethical but sorry to say not tactful and tricky. Why you didn't indoctrinate your wife when the differences were cropped up and your wife did not want to reside with your mother saying that your flesh, bones and blood are the body parts of your mother's  body biologically and medically which you love and had been enjoyed so far then what's the wrong to live with the mother?  Besides you also could say "if it happens in your son's life in future can it be accepted/tolerated by you?" In fact you failed to mould her reminding that marriage is a secred tie between a man and woman which needs mutual sacrifice, better understanding , faith upon each other and adjustment for happiness.  Even now also you can make an attempt for reunion as a last chance before permanent sepertaion by filing Divorce..

 

 

As the veteran old MARRIED man says - You should have manipulated your wife.

 

To be HONEST, the FACT is that - Marriage itself is a sham. A marriage can only survive between 2 opposite genders if it is accompanied by Lies, Deceit, Control, manipulation and all dirty things that a human mind can conceive of. Otherwise a Marriage will never survive.

Bottom line is that: - There can be no love in a marriage. Those who say that they are married and are in love and outright liars. If you want to Love then do not marry and if you want to marry then do not expect Love in it.

 

Respected Sir, you seem to be quite aged but in maturity are still a kid.. True the man has flesh and blood and bones of his mother , But flesh and blood and bones are not the only thing which make a bonding............What is most important is 

 

a. Mutual Mental attraction - which can only happen if 2 intelligent male and female unite....If one of them is intellient and the other is dumb as is most often the case in an arranged marriage then this is impossible......And by Intelligence i do not mean Bookish knowledge...Intelligence means Awareness....This type of attraction (at a mental level) is deeper than Physical contact

b. Mutual Compassion, Mutual care , Mutual respect and Mutual filial bonding......Again much more important than pure physical contact.

 

Like I said, in an arranged marriage it becomes much harder for the above 2.

 

The above poster says he had an Love marriage which makes his case even more peculiar.

 

Biswanath Roy (Advocate)     16 May 2015

This platform is meant for the opinion of legal experts to render legal opinions and advices naturaly Engineer's advise is unwanted and uncalled for in legal matters, your engineering brain will be of no help to the legal requirements of the author to solve his problem. Better you advice author how wheels move in a machine. I shall be pleased to direct you to see my profile first.

Saurav (Engineer)     16 May 2015

Originally posted by : Biswanath Roy
This platform is meant for the opinion of legal experts to render legal opinions and advices naturaly Engineer's advise is unwanted and uncalled for in legal matters, your engineering brain will be of no help to the legal requirements of the author to solve his problem. Better you advice author how wheels move in a machine. I shall be pleased to direct you to see my profile first.

Sir ,

 

The society is fast changing. Old indoctrination and other "tricky" things you mention do not work anymore. Girls today are fast and intelligent and know exactly what is going on. You must have married a long time back and so in those days wife used to think Husband as "Parmeshwar = God" and divorces were unheard of.

 

Please take a look at the divorce rates in Metros(and even small towns) in the last 3 years. You will be astonished. It has crossed western levels.

 

Of course I am not speaking of small towns and villages where still the old tradition continous and divorces are unheard of.

Saurav (Engineer)     16 May 2015

Originally posted by : Biswanath Roy
This platform is meant for the opinion of legal experts to render legal opinions and advices naturaly Engineer's advise is unwanted and uncalled for in legal matters, your engineering brain will be of no help to the legal requirements of the author to solve his problem. Better you advice author how wheels move in a machine. I shall be pleased to direct you to see my profile first.

 

Sir please do not be offended. In this post and in my previous posts I was only trying to highlight out that there is something seriously wrong going on in the modern Indian society. And the solution to the problem is not the age old indoctrination and other things you were talking about. They might have worked earlier but they are clearly not working now (seeing the rising divorce rates in the past few years) where it is doubling every year. Do you think the family/husbaand would not have tried those methods you speak of?.....Of course they would have but it is clearly not working.

 

The problem is quite deep and needs a thorough and incisive understanding. The history is quite old and goes a long way back. 

 

The harsh reality is that there is no Morality and concepts of goodness left in the predominantly Hindu society. This is the reality ever since Buddhism (which was the highest thought of Morality and consciousness and goodness) fell in this country. What replaced that was Brahmanism - and all the dirty things of Patriarchism, Wife controlling, and even people like Kabir adviced wife beating . And even girls were indoctrinated at a very young age that Husbands were Gods and they were supposed to tolerate everything he dishes out.

 

The result was that for centuries we had a society where the divorce rates were practically Zero but deep inside that the marriages were very unhappy.. This continued till it was running but with the opening up of the economy and Women rights being advocated the earlier Manu system stopped working.

 

Girls started getting the freedom they never imagined . This resulted in the opposite effect. While earlier marriages were breaking for a genuine reason , Girls started divorcing their husbands for flimsy reasons like - (Compatibility issues etc).......Can you imagine?......Girls run away to their parents home in 3 months (like in my case) and ask for divorce for Compatibility issues.... 

 

i also have major problems with Indian divorce laws. The 1 year waiting period for filing MCD is pathetic and needs to be done away with for separations that happen in the initial few months. The waiting period creates immense frustration and agony for both the partners and what does the Indian law think?......Can the couple who could not get along living with each other somehow manage to live again but staying seperate for 1 year??.

 

Biswanath Roy (Advocate)     16 May 2015

Genum theory is the latest theory that motivates a person which is undisputed . Ideas, thoughts, faith and belief are still in existence in and within the Indian gins which they carry from their mother and father. Over and above teachings of parental home also influence the minds of the children and motivate them.  It is the fault on the part of the parents to teach their children in a cavalier manner which reflects upon natural thinking of mythological Indian Society. You know as an Engineer that wheels of a machine moves by a power and behind such power there is an energy and energy comes from nature or natural ingredients.So before blaming anybody for such odd situation we must introspect first. Indoctrination is an intrigal part of modern counselling which is being followed by the modern Psychriatricts it is not old method as you think. My wife who died in 2010 at the age of 74 compleating 50 years of married life was highly educated lady of modern thinking and she never counted me as " Pati- PARAMESWAR" but she was a good lover and dedicated wife who sacrificed herself for betterment of her children. She was from a noble family of a reputed Solicitors of Calcutta High Court. Maladies lying behind steep rising of Divorce cases are altogether different such as odd thinking and odd behaviroul pattern among the couple and impatience. From my experience I observed most of the divorce cases are coming from the middle class society whereas, among rich and poor community divorce is very few in numbers.

Saurav (Engineer)     16 May 2015

Originally posted by : Biswanath Roy
Genum theory is the latest theory that motivates a person which is undisputed . Ideas, thoughts, faith and belief are still in existence in and within the Indian gins which they carry from their mother and father. Over and above teachings of parental home also influence the minds of the children and motivate them.  It is the fault on the part of the parents to teach their children in a cavalier manner which reflects upon natural thinking of mythological Indian Society. You know as an Engineer that wheels of a machine moves by a power and behind such power there is an energy and energy comes from nature or natural ingredients.So before blaming anybody for such odd situation we must introspect first. Indoctrination is an intrigal part of modern counselling which is being followed by the modern Psychriatricts it is not old method as you think. My wife who died in 2010 at the age of 74 compleating 50 years of married life was highly educated lady of modern thinking and she never counted me as " Pati- PARAMESWAR" but she was a good lover and dedicated wife who sacrificed herself for betterment of her children. She was from a noble family of a reputed Solicitors of Calcutta High Court. Maladies lying behind steep rising of Divorce cases are altogether different such as odd thinking and odd behaviroul pattern among the couple and impatience. From my experience I observed most of the divorce cases are coming from the middle class society whereas, among rich and poor community divorce is very few in numbers.

 

I dont really know how much of indoctrination is helpful......But indoctrination does cause issues as it has happened in my marriage. My girls family influenced her to leave me and go for divorce. Reasons being they did not want to waste time dealing with a difficult marriage etc.....And due to the same indoctrination my wife was not strong enough to take her own decisions and she too is going for the divorce.

 

Anyway the point being is that problems can really be sorted out.......Even Sexual problems can nowadays be sorted out (If that is the problem).....like there are other techniques of Sex like Oral etc where satisfaction can be achieved.......Anyway the point is that ......Due to the same indoctrination many times Girls do not come out and tell the truth as to what is the actual problem and in the end divorce completes.

 

I dont know ..........I dont believe in this indoctrination at all. Atleast it has caused Divorce for me.

Saurav (Engineer)     16 May 2015

Originally posted by : Biswanath Roy
Genum theory is the latest theory that motivates a person which is undisputed . Ideas, thoughts, faith and belief are still in existence in and within the Indian gins which they carry from their mother and father. Over and above teachings of parental home also influence the minds of the children and motivate them.  It is the fault on the part of the parents to teach their children in a cavalier manner which reflects upon natural thinking of mythological Indian Society. You know as an Engineer that wheels of a machine moves by a power and behind such power there is an energy and energy comes from nature or natural ingredients.So before blaming anybody for such odd situation we must introspect first. Indoctrination is an intrigal part of modern counselling which is being followed by the modern Psychriatricts it is not old method as you think. My wife who died in 2010 at the age of 74 compleating 50 years of married life was highly educated lady of modern thinking and she never counted me as " Pati- PARAMESWAR" but she was a good lover and dedicated wife who sacrificed herself for betterment of her children. She was from a noble family of a reputed Solicitors of Calcutta High Court. Maladies lying behind steep rising of Divorce cases are altogether different such as odd thinking and odd behaviroul pattern among the couple and impatience. From my experience I observed most of the divorce cases are coming from the middle class society whereas, among rich and poor community divorce is very few in numbers.

 

I dont know about the "RICH" part. I have seen a lot of divorces happening among rich businessman. 

 

But year a high percent of Divorces are happening in the Upper Middle class families.

 

And yes again very true, There are hardly any divorces in the Poor families. As my Car wash, My servant , My house keeper are all married and the concept of Divorce does not even exist in them.........I guess the concepts of Sacrifice, committment and honesty are still prevelant among the Poor people of this country and henceforth such problems of Divorce does not arise there. In fact they are living FOOD to MOUTH and both Husband and wife work day long to keep their Stomachs full and they dont have TIME at all to think rubbish things like Divorce etc.

Biswanath Roy (Advocate)     16 May 2015

I disagree with your views that Car Wash, servant, and House keepers are living food to mouth and both husband and wife work day long to keep their stomach full and they don't have time at all to think rubbish thinks like divorce as alleged or at all.. In this context I say they work hard for the whole day for betterment of their children by sending them in good school and for better living without bearing any headache for the payment of Income Tax.

Saurav (Engineer)     16 May 2015

Originally posted by : Biswanath Roy
I disagree with your views that Car Wash, servant, and House keepers are living food to mouth and both husband and wife work day long to keep their stomach full and they don't have time at all to think rubbish thinks like divorce as alleged or at all.. In this context I say they work hard for the whole day for betterment of their children by sending them in good school and for better living without bearing any headache for the payment of Income Tax.

have no comments. You know nothing. Probably you are born among the privilaged high caste. I challenge you to be born a dalit or a Shudra in this country and live 10 days and then you come back and give this post.

 

Take care. I want to stop any more debates on this context and on this board. They are not relevant to the original discussion and I am sorry If I am guilty of diverting from my side.

Rajiv Seth (Manger)     15 November 2015

Hi All,

Update on my situation:

It’s been 2.5yrs that I am not living with my wife. As suggested by all of you we try to resolve the things thru mediation. So, to do that we went to their relative home who did not responded. Then, we called her another relative which stays in Nodia. He agreed to discuss the matter but girl’s mother also wanted to involve other people to create mess. So, that mediation attempt went off without meeting.

Then girl took another move she called both of my sisters who are married and said all sorts of bad things and tried to blame them for everything. My sisters are living in UK. She called there husband and said all fabricated things. That, I used to beat, abuse her and never gave money and all.

Then she mail to both of my brother in-laws and it was a long mail. She mentioned that I and my mother used to beat her. And all sorts of allegation.

And after 10 days I got letter form the mediation centre to come and discuss the issue.

My question is, till her didn’t not sent out that letter I was still thinking for the reunion but after that email it proves that she still putting blames on me and on my family. And on the other hand she is going for mediation. That whole thing is very confusing.

First, she messed every relation and then mediation. My concern is what is she comes back after mediation and start all sort of things again. Who will gonna listen to me?

She can again give hard time to me and my mother. How can I safe guard this?

What if she come back and file false case or FIR while staying in our home. She will nt run this time.

My only concern is she should not create drama at home and live normal with my mother. I don’t know how must mediator can help and how much he gonna listen or stick to that. I wish I could get divorce from this girl. I am staying alone from past 3 yrs and believe this is more peaceful. Please suggested what I can do to ensure my is safe and sound place for my family.   

 


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