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Ajit Nale (SW Engineer)     25 November 2013

My mother in law claiming my wife's salary

Hi all,

I married a girl whose father got expired when she was 5 months old. Her mother left her father house(The house was rented one not owned) and started living at her mother. My wife was born n brought up by her maternal uncle as they say.

My wife is working as a sw engg n during the time of marriage tie up we discuss with her maternal uncle dt after the marriage where the mother of the girl will stay n how her expenses will be handled?

At that time her maternal uncle replied dt my mother in law will stay with them n her expenses will be taken care by the pension she receives for her husband n remaining expenses if required will be manage by them. All this discussion was oral communication n no written proof for it. Still as a part of humanity I asked my wife to give rs.2000 per month from her salary to support her mother expenses.Even after getting rs.2000 per month from us now my mother in law is trying to claim half salary of my wife. 

I want to know if there is any law by which I can have full control over my wife's salary? Also is there any law through which my mother in law can claim my wife's half salary? If so, how can i challege it?

Please let me know your valuable feedback on this



Learning

 35 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     25 November 2013

Why do you want to have full control over your wife's salary??  Your wife has every right to spend her salary the way she wants.  It is her discretion. If you need her salary as a contribution towards the home expenses, you can talk to her that she has a responsibility towards her matrimonial home too and let her manage and balance her responsibilities towards both sides. Legally, your mother-in-law is the responsibility of your wife and not of her brother. You or your wife is not obliging her by sending Rs.2000/- to her.  If she cannot properly manage her expenses from the pension she is receiving then, legally as well as morally your wife should provide her proper maintainance. However, neither you nor your MIL can claim her half or full salary. Better you handle the situation wisely by mutual talks and understanding without creating unnecessary friction in the family life.

2 Like

(Guest)

Adv Archana has given you the right advice. There are legal aspects and there are human aspects. When you have the responsibility of taking care of your parents, she also got a similar responsibility. I guess there is some trust factor missing in your relationship. First build that.

 

Money is secondary, don't unnecessary fight over that. Why to give your MIL money? Get her to your place and let her live with you. Its actually great to have oldies at your home. Let them die peacefully yaar. They should have seen so many ups and downs in their lives. 

 

Having said that, no unreasonable greedy demand should be accepted but you should know what it is actually an unreasonable demand. In this case may be demanding 50% salary is not right but think like a son and take care of her. That way you will gain your wife's respect.


(Guest)

Your mother-in-law has a right under senior citizens act to claim maintenance. Maintenance can vary depending on the circumstances also. So like archana said you/ur wife are not doing any favor by giving 2k to her.

 

If people start thinking like this then all old people have to eventually end up in oldage homes. Its total shame for all of us. We dont need to be that mean. 2k is just not fine. Totally unacceptable. 

Ranee....... (NA)     25 November 2013

People like you deserve a very strict FIR accusing  498A..!!

1 Like

Pooja Hegde R. (Advocate)     26 November 2013

We live in India which is a liberal and free nation so you cannot by law control your wife or her income. Your mother in law is legally entitled to being maintained by your wife. However, if you try to stop your wife from giving her salary to your mother in law then she can have you arrested or sued. So be wise.

(Guest)

The wise thing is to give 50% of your salary to your father and the rest 50% of your salary to your mother. Then see how it matters to your wife.

 

Arrest for what? 498a for what? stop the non-sense...simple things should be dealt simple. For everything you cannot show stick and make the monkey dance to your tunes.

 

These ladies are very proud of false cases. Shame on them.

Vivek (na)     26 November 2013

You should be ashamed of yourself, in fact you should be earning enough to make your wife happy.  

 

Best advice I can suggest you is to make her realize that you both have expenses and that you need her support. If you fight with your wife over this issue,  you will lose your respect in her eyes.

Ranee....... (NA)     26 November 2013

The wise thing is to give 50% of your salary to your father and the rest 50% of your salary to your mother. Then see how it matters to your wife.


Follow the above advice.Your wife will give 50% of her salary to her mother.With rest 50% of her salary you and your wife can survive.

Working/earning women don't get maintenance from husband and now a days daughters get equal share in father's property.But she can not spend her self  earned money at her own choice.Not even for her who brought her to this world and brought her up and finally sent to some other's family to play role as a wife's .This is the mentality of some male chauvinist who cries here for gender equality.

1 Like

(Guest)

What do u mean by own choices?...this is no fun...equality does mean equal responsibilities. A man marries a woman or vice versa thinking that they will bear the family responsibilities otherwise what is the point of marriage?

 

If woman has her choices then men do have their choices. You can not just get away saying its our choice. We will spend as we wish...Is it fine if a man by his choice give 50% to his father and 50% to his mother. Hell NO right then don't talk nonsense. And what was your comment in the previous post, abuse law and u r suggesting that these people should be arrested on 498a. Junk heads.

 

May be you r getting old and u r worried abt your own future now. May be now u r getting into MIL's shoes. As a mother of two daughters, now you got offended. Lol!!!

 

Please you dont talk abt equality. You dont even know the meaning of it.


(Guest)

I dont cry for gender equality. Infact I dont care abt equality. I believe no two living things can ever be equal. I fight against the false cases. If that u call it as being male chauvinist then be it. Actually its sick to even reason with a divorcee. 


(Guest)

Its on the one hand all about understanding.


H earns 10 rs, then he should know how to manage expenditure from the 10 rs he ears.  Maintain house, maintain parents.


On the other hand, if wife is also earning 5 rs, then H can expect her to share expenditure of house, parents etc.  Nothing wrong in it.


Usually, W is expected to part her salary with husband for household expenses and seldom do W's parents expect that the daughter keep paying them money for their maintenance, this is in the broader aspect.


Well, sharing or not sharing money is totally dependent on one thing ie understanding.  No understanding = friction.  How each of them makes the other understand depends solely on the person who is in question.


Strictly my take:  If wife wanted to look after her parentage, then there was no need for her to marry.  She could as well have remained spinster and not married at all.  And just looked after her parents, you say no, I show 1000 people who do it, they prefer parents over married life.  It is very selfish though, but such people do seldom think broadly, thereby there are killing the motive of man being a social animal, ie to marry, to flourish, to produce children, and grow in the societal format.


One cannot keep thinking about parents all the time.  Most divorces happen for this reason, that.. they dont let go off their parentage, and that is a bad sign.


Coming to the query, its totally your take whether you want your wife to part with her salary with you.  But mind it, she is a working woman, so she has all the right to part her salary with her parents, parting with full salary I do not support, but a part of it can be.


Try to move very smoothly in this regard, agressive nature can lead to divorce !

Deeply Hurt (PM)     26 November 2013

My mom was the only child who lost her airforce father at 7yrs of age. So all she had in this world was her mother - who worked as a teacher to support herself & her daughter! My dad took his MIL into his house & under his care, when she quit her job. Mind you, my dad was the sole breadwinner. Because of this act of my dad, we had a lot of blessing in the house as the presence of an older person in brings a lot of benefits. It's one of the reasons I came to respect my dad more. My g'mom was very useful around the house & had a good sense of humor too. She used to regale us with lot of stories when we were kids. She lived a ripe old age of 87 and died peacefully. But I was glad she was able to see my kid before she was taken away from this world.

Ajit, from your situation, since your wife's mother does not have anyone else except her daughter, please do consider taking her into your house. I'm sure if you do it she'll not be asking for 50% of her daughter's salary (or any part of her salary for that matter). If however, she's still demanding money, you don't owe a penny to her. If even after you taking your MIL under your care, your wife wants to give her mother money, it's totally her prerogative but she could have as well remained a spinster and just cared for her mom instead of being selfish & marrying you.


(Guest)

I have seen people who don't get their son/daughter married simply because they are afraid of losing the salary that their son/daughter earn. In society all kinds of people exist, its definitely kids responsibility to take care of parents/inlaws but some parents take undue advantage of these things. Demand is always bad. Period.

 

@HH

I defer to your take. Why wife should not look after their parentage? that thought is totally biased, that thought process should change. Every kid has got equal responsibility towards their parents.


(Guest)

Don't make your parents beg you(guy/Gal) for money. Arey yaar it really doesn't matter how much you give. There could be health issues, or some things that they want to buy etc...so its good to give money before they even expect from you. Demands are unjustified but we should not forget our duties. Sometimes they wont even take also even if you offer. We don't owe a penny is wrong way of looking at it, we definitely have responsibility to take care of them. That's the utmost service that a kid can do.

 


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