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My mother in law claiming my wife's salary

Page no : 2

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     27 November 2013

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  1. "children" includes son, daughter, grandson and grand-daughter but does not include a minor

has aliability to maintain her.



  1. A senior citizen including parent who is unable to maintain himself from his own earning or property owned by him, shall be entitled to make an application under section 5 in case of -
    1. parent or grand-parent, against one or more of his children not being a minor
    2. a childless senior citizen, against such of his relative referred to in clause (g) of section 2
  2. The obligation of the children or relative, as the case may be, to maintain a senior citizen extends to the needs of such citizen so that senior citizen may lead a normal life.
  3. The obligation of the children to maintain his or her parent extends to the needs of such parent either father or mother or both, as the case may be, so that such parent may lead a normal life.
  4. Any person being a relative of a senior citizen and having sufficient means shall maintain such senior citizen provided he is in possession of the property of such senior citizen or he would inherit the property of such senior citizen:

    Provided that where more than one relatives are entitled to inherit the property of a senior citizen, the maintenance shall be payable by such relative in the proportion in which they would inherit his propert


If you resctrict her you are abetting her to comit and crime and you are punishable.


maintenance does notmean mere money


  1. "maintenance" includes provision for food, clothing, residence and medical attendance and treatment

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     27 November 2013

You were made clear of her liability even befor emarriage and such like factors are never documented.  Even if  not documented still it is opbligatory for your wife to maintain her

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     27 November 2013


Now coming to question of 498a




I have read view of Ranee and others.


Why you should have full control over wife salary why she should not have full control over her salary?


Now a day  new modus operendie of dowry demand are emerging.  One of them is:-


(i)                 Marry a working woman

(ii)               Snatch her entire salary and leave her on peanuts

(iii)             If she resists so then throw her out.


So the demand of salary of wife becomes a consideration for continuation of marriage.  Hence dowry demand.


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Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     27 November 2013

Therefore I tend to agree to the view of Ms Archana as well views of Ms Ranee

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fighting for my brother (HR)     27 November 2013

i think ajit need to think on few things:

Is really MIL pension is not enough..?

Is wife also demanding half of her salary towards mother?

was your wife shared her contribution towards mother before marriage?

If answer is yes, then you should discuss with your wife and support her, or bring in law in your house as one person said..


Deeply Hurt (PM)     27 November 2013

Sudhir Sir, with due respect, I tend to disagree with your "new modus operandi for dowry demand" theory

Marry a working woman - nowadays its the women themselves who want to continue to work even after marriage, infact, that is one of the conditions they demand even before finalizing the marriage itself.

Snatch her entire salary and leave her on peanuts - Is taking the salary for household expenses called snatching? If so, is the husbands salary being snatched by the wife where the wives do not work? Also nowadays working women have their own account so these "snatching" cases are just fiction. Most women I know contribute to the running of the house of their own accord. The problem arises when these so called modern women do not think of their married home as their own but consider it as a prison (just because she is unable to support her parents) If this is the case why did she have to get married in the first place? She could have very well remained a spinster to take care of her parents?

If she resists so then throw her out - Why does she have to resist providing her salary to mutually run the house? If the husband "resists" to provide any of his salary to run the house will it be acceptable?

If you come back to me with a reply saying husband is the "caretaker" so he has to "provide for the family" by giving his salary, then be sure that husbands can demand their wives to be the "home maker" and stay at home to "take care of the family"

When a wife wants to be "independent" and start earning on her own (like her husband) then, it also becomes her "duty" to support the family with her income .

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Ranee....... (NA)     27 November 2013

@Stalker, first part of my last post was from your reply to the author. Chk it! Secondly, own choices means own choice like you gave the above advice.If not fine then why did you adviced to the querist ? I work hard to earn money so that I can give my daughters a good life and good future, not like you who is crying here for 20 lacs of rupees not for your child.I saw you participating in queries of maintenance rather than custody queries. I don't understand the word "gender equality" can I, ?? where you were the person who introduced these two words in Dictionary!


last reply    (because Actually its sick to even reason with a divorcee. )

fighting for my brother (HR)     27 November 2013

@ Deeply hurt.... i totaly agree with you...even i am working women...but it didnt mean that you ruin husband life insake of mother..

You cant leave your husband to run his family all alone...

Demanding mother is bad for any family... either its mother or MIL...

If you have any condition , its better clear before marraige..instead of fighting later.

Sudhir, ranee are commenting in favour of wife without getting into husband shoes..

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     27 November 2013

@ Deeply Hurt.


Most women are working  but all are not victims of new found dowry demand tool as described by me.


Many woman have to just surrender their salary to in-laws or husband [at times falling in Joint account] and keep begging for basic needs.


Mr Sudhir,


Your thoughts are always biased, I hate to even chat with you or even mention your name. You have a very narrow mindset and a victim mindset that you see everything as if the girl is getting victimized for each and every small thing that happens in married life. And the solution that you think is getting the guy's family arrested with a 498a. You don't even see the gravity or understand the meaning of dowry demand or what the section says but you just want to terrorize the guy and their family to continue with a bad marriage. Its no wonder why so many marriages are being broken these days because people like you exist in this world.


You don't answer me but for the people who unfortunately read your biased comments, for their benefit I have to raise my voice.

Now a day  new modus operendie of dowry demand are emerging.  One of them is:-


(i)                 Before marrying man, check his salary, or his property that he holds on his name. I have never seen a girl who marries without considering these things. But if the guy does the same thing, then it is being termed as dowry. Such a cheap mindset.

(ii)               Snatch his entire salary and throw his parents to oldage homes

(iii)             If he resists so then bring on some idiot's who brainwash her of feminism, and motivate her to file 498a, dv, maintenance cases.


So the demand of salary by wife becomes a consideration for continuation of marriage.  Hence dowry demand. But so called idiots call it as maintenance for the great service that she was doing. If husband questions its called dowry but if the same wife does then its called maintenance. Hypocrites.


All they can do is bow bow, they are complete fools.

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I adviced him for two reasons

1. You and one more lady advocate gave a wrong advice inorder to terrorize him. Your advice is to abuse tha law which is illegal.

2. The author was ok with 2k rupees but the MIL was demanding 50% of the salary and that was his actual query. You are supposed to understand that and give him a right advice instead you chose to terrorize him. May be hez wrong in his approach but he has got a valid query. Nobody can demand 50% of the salary and even law wont accept such foolish demands. After checking your replies, I gave the WISE advice, that was a satire on people like you who only see one side of the coin. In marriage there is no room for own choices. Thats the reason why you, me are roaming in these forums. All that is in a marriage is negotiation. For that peice of advice you dont need to abuse law and talk nonsense about 498a.


See yaar, I appreciate that you are working hard to bring up your beautiful kids. I was just pulling your leg by naming your kids but not to really hurt you.   I dont have kids and I dont know what is that 20lakh rupees. I never ever fought for money in all these years. I think you are confused. Yes I participated in mainenance queries where some feminists tried to bring up false stories. I dont get into custody queries as I have never fought on those lines and I dont have any legal info on that.


Thanks for calling it quits, btw divorcee is a woman who got divorced from her husband. Check dictionary before you insult yourself :D

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Reformist !!! (Other)     27 November 2013

Mr Sudhir, 

I have always seen your biased answers. Though, Ranee is still on the balanced end, on some of the occasions. But in my whole experience on LCI i have never seen any unbiased reply from you. Your answers are always biased towards the GIRL

HOW DO YOU SAY, Demanding wife's salary is a dowry demand. How the he** you can even think of saying this Sh*T.

What the He** Make a wife to bend her husband and spend the money as she wants. Does that amount to dowry demand for you ?

When wife demands the husbands to leave the parents on road and want to garb the property of old parents, does that amount to dowry demands from wife ???

WHY Girls parents ask about the property of boys parents when they know that they are marrying the daughter with a man and not family ??

Why Girls wanted to support their parents who are actually earning through Pension and they still send money to parents.......Why ???

If the boys do so, then its considered as he is not handling family(spouse and kids, parents are not considered family for him) properly...............

ANSWER ME the above questions......Why he has to take her MIL in his house ???

One of my friend is in same situation. His and his wife's mother both are widows, but his wife is demanding that her mother should live with them and not his husbands mother ??????? DO YOU AMOUNT THIS TO EXTREME MENTAL CRUELTY ?????????

I think you must answers this question 1st before answering biasly on anything.

@RANEE---------> This is not expected of you to write that he should be charged for 498A. I WOULD Request Mr.Sudhir & U ranee to give a definition of Dowry Demand ...........then only you should quote such words. GO through the SC judgments, before you say such word. Wife can ask for salary whereas husband cant. Where is the equality ??

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Marriage is no joke.  Its is supposed to be union of two hearts.  Union of two hearts does not happen just like that.

Each and everything should be talked out well in advance, before you jump.

No use putting new conditions after marriage.  This both the girl and guy and their respective sides should follow without making a fuss.

Only then you wont have such problems.

All such talking helps in better understanding and being prepared.  Once you know that the person is not compatible, then it is better to leave that person and look for someone else.

In this case, it appears that both of them did not talk at all, each one had their own thing in mind and started acting what they liked when they tied the knot.  

For the querist:  As it appears that you both never spoke out, you cannot blame anyone now but yourselves for not laying terms n conditions before marriage.

Either accept that your wife's mom has financial difficulties and live with it or keep fighting with her and her mother due to this salary regard.

fighting for my brother (HR)     28 November 2013

here i feel like most of the people dont read about author concern and start commenting and giving advise.

as clearly mention by author that mother issue was discussed before marraige itself..@helping hand.

people start fighting witinin themselves.. lets author come back and reply..

Ranee....... (NA)     28 November 2013

Originally posted by : Reformist !!!

@RANEE---------> This is not expected of you to write that he should be charged for 498A. I WOULD Request Mr.Sudhir & U ranee to give a definition of Dowry Demand ...........then only you should quote such words. GO through the SC judgments, before you say such word. Wife can ask for salary whereas husband cant. Where is the equality ??

the ambit of 498a is widened by various judgements by different courts as it was described in the husband's extra marital affair, throwing out DIL from matrimonial laws are covered under this section now...Taking away wife's salary comes under economic abuse under the DV Act.

@Stalker, where I live , there is a custom in Hindus when parent of a married girl dies she need not fast for a single day till the  'sraddha ceremony but the SIL has to fast for three days like own son of the deceased..that means there is no difference between own son and the son in law..but how many son in laws takes care of parents in law in our society?there may be similar roles in the other communities too.

All those points can be treated gender nuetrally if the couple starts living separately from both parents.The wife leaves own home and starts living with parents in law .This system can not be changed .Can you imagine a groom goes to brides place and starts living there after marriage?If not why you compare wife with the husband?

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