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shaik abdul (tl)     08 May 2011

Muslim marriage alimony

1) I got married under muslim personal law a year back and due to some reasons wanted to get saparated.

2) Wife doesnt want to get saparted and I was very polite to her throughout my life with her and i dint took any dowry atall.  

In simple words ( my life with her was in a big mess and I lost myself during the time i spent with her) now since few months wer are staying saparately and there is no communicaiton with her.


3)  inlaws asked proofs abt the alegations made againsts her, I provided the evidence to them but they didnt agreed though they know there is a fault with daughter. I know it will look biased if i say all her fault but it was a bad time we both had which didnt worked out.


4) Now they are asking for one time alimony which is abt 6 months salary of mine for a setlement and ready for qula (muslim law divoce initiated by wife).

5) I am confused please advice...It is my hard earnd money.

If I pay the amount everyting will be as per documents signature and agreement.

If i dont pay and give divorce at my will ? what can be expected?

Please advice


 15 Replies

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     08 May 2011

as a mohamedan, you have the right to talak her - according to your customary system.

reg maintenance you follow your own personal law, that will be less costly to you.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     08 May 2011

your posting shows that you still love her, - might be i am wrong.

in that circumstances you may rejoin with her, instead of talak.

adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (practicing advocate)     08 May 2011

Arup has analysed you correcxtly.  there is no wrong in conciliation. Go for it .

shaik abdul (tl)     08 May 2011

Thanks Arup ji and Rajoo ji.

I dont love her I want divorce asap. I have also aproached lawyer and he is talking on my behalf and suggested me to go for compromise by paying one time amount in return they will sign the settlement papers that certain coditions. like recieved the gold and not file complaints in futer etc...and also they will give qula which will be safer than give talak from my side.

Please advice give one time amount is safer or should i refrain from it...

 if they loged a case in court and court advice to give maintenance then ....if I put that money in bank and give monthly maintenance from the interest.

I am ok to go to jail if they file any false case but only problem is i want to safeguard my parents.

prasanta kumar parida (sr. consultant)     08 May 2011

As per Muslim personal law there is no provision for permanent alimony. But you have to pay the amount fixed as DAYEN-MEHER in the event of TALAQ. But my advice is try to maintain the marriage .Because married life is full of compromise and there is no gurantee that, you will get a life partner as per your wish.

shaik abdul (tl)     08 May 2011

Vakeel saabs please suggest..maintaining of marriage is looking only for divorce.

Firdaus (Manager)     08 May 2011

Dear Brother, the one time alimony is the value of Haq Maher they are asking? if not then have you paid the meher already? Just evaluate your economics, you might be feeling that it is not economical to pay one time money. Now if you go through court, they will fix monthly maintenance amount, then you will have to pay the lawyer as well. Minimum 1 year it may take & max. has no limit. Apart from this, do you have proof that u didnt took any dowry like some furniture etc.? If no then along with maintenance charges court will also impose one time amount depending on the expenditure of marriage shown by wife's side. This amount will be in many lacs of rupees.

Also, your in laws will summon your whole family including mother & sisters. This is most harrasing tool used by lawyers these days. Now you decide which way you want to go.

You can pursue one thing with your in laws. Khula (it is khula not qula), stretches over few months as you might be knowing. So better convince your in laws that you will pay this fixed amount in installments for the months of khula. And you can sign one such agreement. Also each time when you pay, dont froget to take receipt. And when finally khula turns into talaq, get everything pen down so that nothing remains for future.

Mutual agreements are always better than court cases. Dear just leave the lady for the sake of Allah, if she has done anything wrong then she will meet the destiny.

sharmilla ram (general manager)     09 May 2011

as per my knowledge mr firdous khula only for girl not for boy. as per muslim law (which is not exist in india)if girl will take khula than she has to pay money to husband. regarding for case she can indulge every commom person, court is lest bother about relation. this is greatness of indian judicery. indian judges think they are god. c for judges no accountability so they can give any judgement which is not in law book. a good lawyer will be never accept judge post only dumped lawyer will be judge. see so many judgement. mr mohd even if u will give divorce than also fight 2 to 3 yrs to proof divorce is valid. one important thing as per shariya no need to take permission from first wife  to do second marraige.







Firdaus (Manager)     09 May 2011

Dear Ms/Mr. Sharmilla,

I am Ms. Firdaus. I am sorry to inform you but your understanding of Islamic shariah as per Quran is wrong. And yes you are not only but majority muslims doesn't know the exact shariah. Remember one thing girl never pays anything under Islam. If you are interested then plz go through Chapter/Surah Nisa of Quran in which whole process & rulings w.r.t. khula/talaq is explained. Khula can be taken by either side whereas talaq will be valid only when boy accepts. I always recommend people to read & analyze themselves rather than taking mouth of words from others.

And whatever I've written is based upon my own experience. I fought the court case for my sister. Though being responsible muslims we didn't name any female relatives of boy side & our case was streched over 4 years. Our advocate recommended to name sisters, mother, sister in laws all, while filing the case but we said no, we will be held accountable by God for this. Those females never hurt my sister only the boy did & hence only boy's name was there.

I secon Mr. Sawant. Mr. Mohd. you should try to do out of court settelment. After divorce boy doesn't need 1st wife's permission but before this it is needed. Also maintenance charges will be applicable until the girl gets remarried.

shaik abdul (tl)     10 May 2011

Dear firdaus, Can you please explian khula process which you said streches for few months. We prepared documents about settlement in one time and in exchange of Khula and full final settlement in one time. but you mentioned it goes for few months please explain.


sharmilla ram (general manager)     11 May 2011

ms firdus can u tell me where is mention in quran u must take permission from first wife for second marraige.our profet said if u can not do similarity than better dont perform second marraige and also tell where is mention in quaran u ve to pay maintaince for divorce lady till remarry. what is the use of mehar.why girl is taking. read carefully why mehar for women. read personal law 1937 which is clear mention for khula girl has to pay. it is different issue in india no personal law exists in india.all judges r  supporting women even she is wrong. even in india judges r passing order under 24 hma for muslim male and muslim women.(by birth male n female.) judge can pass any order.nobody will ask to them.

dinesh (junior advocate)     16 May 2011

See, Mr.Mohd.

Sharmilla ram is correct in mentioning about Khula nama. as per the muslim law Khula means that the wife is paying some thing to the husband for giving divorce or in the other way from releasing the marital contract. Muslim marriage is nothing but a contract. With regard to one time settlement it is your interest. best option or advise that can be given by an advocate is when you are not interested in your wife you may settle the matter out of court for a lumpsum amount and get the divorce as per law. even in the event of pronouncing talaq it should be in the presence of your wife only else it is not a valid talaq. Though Mehar is paid yet indian courts are granting maintenance to the muslim wife but as per the statutes only but not as per their whims and fancies as alleged by Sharmilla ram. when a person is not satisfied with the orders passsed by a judicial officer he has every opportunity to approach the higher court and get the relief but the view of Sharmilla ram that indian judges can pass any order as they are not questioned.

Firdaus (Manager)     23 May 2011

Dear Sharmila Ram, Sorry for late reply.

There is a misunderstanding dear. I didn't say that maintenaince to divorced wife is as per Quran, it is as per Indian govt laws.

Now comes here Khula nama: plz read my post again, this Khula nama is not as per Quran. Yes here I contradict with majority who has formulated these laws clearly against Quran/ Prophet (saww) . Dear all its very debatle topic w.r.t. Islamic rulings. If you would get into details & use the wisdom power then you can see many versions of Islam & hence the laws.

For your suprise, Quran has nowhere differentiated between talaq and khula. In fact, the word khula finds no mention in the Quran. Even while talking about the right of men to divorce their wives the Quran confers upon the Muslim women rights similar to men as the following verse shows; "..and women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; ".(Q 2:228) 

Therefore, it may not be wrong to deduce from this statement that although the Quran discusses procedure of talaq only for men the law for women is the same. Moreover, as marriage in Islam (according to 4:21) is a solemn contract (meesaaqan ghaleeza) both parties have equal rights to revoke this covenant in accordance with the Quranic procedure if the other party breaches it. Also, as the Quran is based on principles of natural justice there is no question of granting legal superiority to men on any issue including divorce. In this context, it becomes imperative to look at the procedure of divorce as explained in the Quran to have a better understanding of marital rights in Islam.

Four steps before the first talaq (As laid down in 4: 34-35)
As a first step, when there is a marital discord, the Quran advices the husband to reason out (fa'izu hunna) with his wife through discussions. If differences persist, then as a next step, the parties are asked to s*xually distance themselves (wahjuru hunna) from each other in the hope that this temporary physical separation may encourage them to unite.

And if even this fails, the husband is instructed, as a third step, to once again explain (wazribu hunna) to his wife the seriousness of the situation and try to bring about a reconciliation. In pursuance of wazribu hunna, the husband shall explain to his wife that if they do not resolve their differences soon enough, their dispute may go beyond the confines of their house and become common knowledge which may not be in the interest of both parties. This would be true because, if the dispute still remains unresolved, as a fourth step, the Quran requires the matter to be placed before two arbiters, one from the family of each spouse, for resolution.

Three talaqs (As laid down in 2:228-232 & 65:1-4)
It is only after the failure of the aforementioned four attempts at reconciliation that the Quran allows the first talaq to be pronounced followed by a waiting period called the iddah. Not more than two divorces can be pronounced within this period, the duration of which is three monthly courses (2:228-229). For women who have passed the age of menstruation the period of iddah is three months and in the case of pregnant women it is till the termination of pregnancy (65:4).

And if the parties are unable to unite during the period of iddah as envisaged by verse 2:228, the final irrevocable talaq can be pronounced, but only after the expiry of the iddah (2:231). Once the final talaq has been invoked the marital bond is severed and the parties cease to be of any relation to each other. However, even after the period of iddah has lapsed, the Quran offers the contending parties a chance to reunite, provided the final talaq has not been pronounced. It says, "When you divorce women and they complete their term (iddah), do not prevent them from marrying their husbands if they mutually agree on equitable terms" (2:232). In other words, after the expiry of iddah, as per verses 2:231 & 232, the parties are given the options of remarriage and permanent separation- the separation being the third and the final irrevocable talaq to be pronounced in the presence of two witnesses (65:2).

Thus, it can be summarised from the above discussion that after four serious attempts at reconciliation a Muslim husband is permitted to divorce his wife once or twice within the period of iddah to resume conjugal relations without having to undergo the procedure of remarriage. After the expiry of iddah he can either re-contract the marriage on fresh and mutually agreeable terms or irrevocably divorce her by pronouncing the third and the final talaq. It is understood here that the woman cannot be left hanging without either being united with her husband or irrevocably divorced. The parties have to decide one way or the other within a reasonable period of time. This is clearly implied in the verse 2:231 which says "but do not take them back to hurt them or to take undue advantage. If anyone does this he wrongs himself."

However, to emphasise the sanctity of the marriage tie and the enormity of breaking it for frivolous reasons, the Quran warns that once the parties choose to separate after the expiry of the iddah, they cannot entertain hopes of marrying again unless the wife takes another husband and he divorces her (2:230). It is understood here that a divorce may result only if the new husband has serious differences with his wife, and in the rare event of such differences cropping up, he is required to follow the Quranic procedure of divorce as discussed above.

Step by step summary of the Quranic procedure of talaq
1. Husband and wife to reason out through dialogue ..fa'izu hunna
2. Temporary physical separation........wahjuru hunna
3. More convincing to effect reconciliation.....wazribu hunna
4. Arbitration
5. First talaq followed by iddah
6. Options within iddah - 2nd talaq or resumption of conjugal relations without re-marriage
7. Options after iddah - Re-marriage or final separation through third talaq.

It is therefore clear that the concept of instant triple talaq is alien to Islam as it goes against the very spirit of the procedure of divorce laid down in the Quran. Even the Prophet when he was informed about a man who gave three divorces at a time was so enraged that he said, "Are you playing with the Book of Allah who is Great and Glorious while I am still amongst you?"(Mishkat-ul-Masabih).

Verse: 229 (( Divorce may be (pronounced) twice, then keep (them) in good fellowship or let (them) go with kindness; and it is not lawful for you to take any part of what you have given them, unless both fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah; then if you fear that they cannot keep within the limits of Allah, there is no blame on them for what she gives up to become free thereby. These are the limits of Allah, so do not exceed them and whoever exceeds the limits of Allah these it is that are the unjust ))

الطَّلاَقُ مَرَّتَانِ فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَأْخُذُواْ مِمَّا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْئًا إِلاَّ أَن يَخَافَا أَلاَّ يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللّهِ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللّهِ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا افْتَدَتْ بِهِ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللّهِ فَلاَ تَعْتَدُوهَا وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ اللّهِ فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُون

In this verse it is clearly said that husband has no legal right to take back anything (Meher). But if wife wish to do so then she can give some part of it.

Now in the end, laws of land can also be followed when somebody is living under non-islamic rules.

Muslims rulers right after Prophet Mohammad start playing with the book of Allah with wrong interpretations as per their evil desires. I have no fear in declaring this.

Remember always divorce is the most hated legal act, Allah/God has clearly said this in Quran. You need to learn arabic yourself to get to the truth.

Good luck.

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