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Meera Neeraj (CA Final Student)     08 May 2011

Mental torture to Wife

Hi,

I would like to know, if there is any law which talks about punishing culprit in-laws and husband for mentally torturing wife for a prolonged period and to an extent which has resulted in her bad health and finally getting psychic.

Marriage duration is 8 years now, concerned party has 1 kid(3 yrs). Since begining inlaws and husband have been mentally toturing her subjective to her parents and over past so many years she has gone through accute depression and getting attacks daily and is now consulting doctor for permanent cure. Right now she is with her parents who are taking care of her depression/attacks. Husband/in-laws claim absolutely no responsibility for her current mental imbalance/depression.

Please suggest if there is any punishment/warning or any legal action which could be taken to ensure in-laws/husband never repeat this attitude again. Can the girl's family in their individual capacity file a defamation suit against the in-laws/husband?

 

Thanks in advance!



Learning

 8 Replies

Ambika (NA)     08 May 2011

In my opinion, the affected  lady should File a Domestic Violence case. you should consult a good local advocate.

in this forum lot of abuses would be hurled towards you where the concerned woman going through this torture would be labelled with glorious adjectives...just wait and see! Please post your query in the expert's  section for two reasons

.1) at least there you can pick and choose the advice 

2)  none would be rediculing you and the person for whom you need the advice.

Regret to say that one of the best advocates of this forum has withdrawn his membership, and one or two who can really talk without rediculing appear  only ocassionally.

 

2 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     08 May 2011

sorry to know about the girl..is she ur sis by the way?

 

u say that u want them to be punished or warned so that they dont repeat their behaviors.u also say that they have made the girl psychic.

 

yes u can go in for DV Act....but do u think it will solve the problems?

 

the inlaws will devise newer ways to silently torture her and none will come to know about it,since the girl has also developed a weak mind..so she wont be able to rebel or complain to anyone...it also seems she has developed a phobia of her abusive inlaws and husband,and hence these attacks...wot favour r u doing by sending her back in the same hellish house?

 

 

do u think its worthy to continue the marriage in such a family?do u think the girl's child will have a proper mental development when he sees his mentally wrecked mum and that his grandparents and father are so cunning and mean?u never know,they may also poison the child against the mum,so that he too joins their gang and bullies her,as he grows older.

 

i dont understand why u want the girl to live in such a household?even if she recovers medically,do u think she will get any love and respect here?the inlaws and husband being mean,will invent newer ways to harass her and manipulate the situations in such a way that they are never caught by any1.....it will be the situation of a victim surrounded by armed goons from all directions,such that he cant come out of this circle

she needs love,respect and dignity and also a gud environment for child's growth..these cant be given in that household...if she goes back there,...she may again fall ill.....and this time it will be permanent..

why not simply punish them by being v.strict and filing 498A?file DV act also for maintenance of child and mum,for getting heavy compensation for harassment and to retrieve streedhan and dowry articles.

 

also collect all her medical reports which say that she developed all such problems owing to torture.they will act as evidence.if u only go for 498A,ask for a huge alimony,for u have all the grounds to ask for it...they have ruined 8 yrs of her marriage,made her psychic and also made the child deprived of parents' love.......even his future is uncertain...

 

appoint a very passionate,honest,selfless,brilliant and experieneced lawyer who will fight for her not for money but for restoring her dignity...please go to a recommended lawyer only..

 

gud luck!

 

1 Like

(Guest)

Think of the repurcussions of taking the legal route. IMHO, do not seek a "very passionate,honest,selfless,brilliant and experieneced lawyer", instead seek a family counsellor and or Clinical Psychologist first.

There may be medical issues pre-disposed, ie the wife/mother of 3 year old may be pre-disposed with mental issues prior to marriage or genetically. It is possible that the joint/extended family did play a role in triggering or aggravating a pre-exisiting mental condition. A clinial psychologist can sit with both parents and try to educate them on the pros an cons of living a family life versus living separate and in the worst case making the decision to dissolve the family. 

If counselling/reasoning/education does not work, then both parents can go for a mutual separation and continue to co-exist in separate homes but yet continue to love and care for the child. May be the family ( father - mother - child ) living away from the inlaws may solve the issue or reduce the stress. Have you looked into these internal issues before considering DV.

Imagine if learned Ambika and Roshini B's suggestion leads the mother to get involved in litigation and the whole ordeal of going to courts, appearing in front of judges triggers more severe mental issues and the mother commits sucide or harms the child or becomes a total mental wreak.

Would Meera Neeraj/Ambika/Roshini adopt that 3 year old and give the child love and care ??? 

Lawyers and courts cannot bring peace to the family or love a child - only loving and co-operative parents can. 

A smart lawyer, IMO is one who can settle the matter out of court. Once again, think of the repurcussions - DV may create unknown / unseen enemies for life. Do you want to bear that cross for the rest of your life for filing DV. What if filing the DV turns the innocent husband into a psycho - the psycho finds who sowed ill thoughts into his wifes head and then the psycho comes and gets you ?? 

Now, lets look at it the other way. The husband is truly the dominant aggresor ( it takes two to tango ). Over the period of 8 years, there would be several witnesses, evidence of abuse etc. The question arisies, has there been any escalation of the issue to family, friends, neighbors, counsellors or this DV thing has come up one fine morning.

In your post, you have mentioned "defamation suit". What has the wife/women said or done that is making the husbands parents defame her ? Did she sleep with the neighbor or is indulging in adultry ? 

Behanji, zara kahani khol ke batao na. DV me kohi jita nahi , koi haraa nahi - kaun haara - woh teen saal ka batchaa. Kyon paap jhelna chahate ho behan. Aapko zindagi se pyar nahi hai kya ? Kabhi kissise mohabbat kar ke to dekho na ? Apne ados pados ke batchon ko  dekho - kitna pyar se khelte hain - Jis batche ko baap nahi, woh badaa hokar chor/daku bankar kahin aapka nuksaan na pahunchva de.


(Guest)

@Adam

your thoughts are nice but in some points I could not agree with u.Do you think in a family where a daughter in law is psychic, there some one will care for the child?

The husband who does not care for his wife, do you think he will consult a counsellor?The author when rised his question here to find way to solve this problem, must be speaking the truth.Then why the quetion of  this side/that arise?

Dv will create unseen /unknown enemies for life..true .At least those, who would be parties to the case will keep enmity for the lady.But are they friend or well wisher now?

Domestic violence act never break a family.Rather it unites the family by keeping provision of shared household, preventing in laws from any kind of violece against the woman.Making the woman feel free to enjoy all her rights for a good and healthy life.

In your post, you have mentioned "defamation suit". What has the wife/women said or done that is making the husbands parents defame her ? Did she sleep with the neighbor or is indulging in adultry ? but i think defamation suit is for these lines..Since begining inlaws and husband have been mentally toturing her subjective to her parents .dont u think so..?

 

Suppose u were the nxt door  neighbour of that lady's family..u know well in-laws misbehave the lady but u cant protest because u know them for more time thanthat u know the DIL.If u are male  and u have kids and wife and u have lots of sympathy to the DIL..if u protest there is chance to get defamed!...in such case would somebody go to the court and give witness to embrace life long enmity?

Your thoughts about the kid is absolutely right.But which point made u think that the husband is innocent?

Ambika (NA)     09 May 2011

The children of all those members of this forum who seek divorce related advice,  or of the couples who are past reconciliation,  are then going to be robbers and thieves!!!  Saying this is no less a crime against children who are going through single parenting, either with fathers or with mothers and have right to grow into better and sensitive human beings. Predicting this for a child, is no less than an abuse.

Meera,  

you will do well to post your query at the experts' section and do not turn back to see who is saying what here, if you really wish to get some sensitive replies to your query without being made fun at or receiving learned views aginst the small child. 

Agree with Utpla, DV case would not compell the affected wife to go back and live with her husband and her in laws. She may seek reliefs  for separate residence, protection from interference from her in laws and husband , custody of child and maintenance for her self  along with child support and medical expenses for her treatment.

Again, seek advice from a good lawyer and go by reference,  as Roshni has suggested.

deepak kumar (asssit)     17 October 2011

if some girls parents try to do her mentally torture and force her to marry some against her wish is there any provision to take action against her parents by her self .that girl want to marry some other guy but her parents try to do her mantaly torture .her parents do case on that boy    and try to arrest that boy is there any .provision to take action against her parents        

Rohit Shukla (Engineer)     17 October 2011

@ Meera Neeraj,

I am strictly against the "MISUSE" of this 498a and DV and always warn people against its use as its the end of relationship thereafter. But that doesn't mean that stoop down and SAHTE RAHO just coz you don't wanna loose a relationship.  Being a Guy facing similar pre 498a stage, still I believe that if the relationship and relatives are threat to an exttent that it's a threat to your life directly and indirectly, then  go for it. GUILTY SHOULD BE PUNISHED ...... especially if he/she is not amenable and you have tried your best. One more thing, be honest to your charges and for god sake just to have MAXIMUM IMPACT don't rope in people who are not guilty (SIL,BIL etc)..... PLEASE use these laws to help yourself not to avenge.

Note: Laws are prohibitive and supporting to some extent but they cannot infuse LIFE into any relationship, so use it as last resort and only if you thing grave injustice happened to you..... PLSSSSS

Regards,

Rohit 

anjali (manager)     22 June 2013

my grandfather mentally torture me father and mother that he submit a case on 4 of us that we all want to kill him

what shall we do now


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